k Page 2821 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Ultrarunning Is The Funniest Sport In The World
You know all that crap about learning more from losses than victories? From times when the train went off the rails rather than smartly pulling into the station? Whether that has a shred of validity or not, disasters make for great reading, so instead of talking with the medal-chested smiling win...
A Mets Game, As Experienced By The Team Twitter Account
We rag on the Mets here a good amount—mostly because it's so much fun—but tonight, during a 6-0 loss to the Phillies, the team twitter account got in on the joke and had some fun. With a healthy dose of self awareness and self-loathing humor, the twitter account presented the Mets Fan Experience, ...
Surly Jack White Throws First Pitch In Detroit
Fucking Black Keys will probably do this tomorrow. Frauds. ...
"Louis Slungpue" Pranks News On UCLA Flood Cause: "A Really Large Dump"
"Ah, yes ma'am, it's 'Slung-poo.'" ...
Marshawn Lynch's Mom: "REPORTERS DON'T THINK, THEY GUESS"
Marshawn Lynch's mom, Sunshine, did not take kindly to Terry Blount's suggestion that the Seahawks could win without her son and responded with an all-caps rant that included "I GUESS THATS WHY HE HATES REPORTERS." ...
Raiders Pretend To Be Interested In San Antonio
The San Antonio Raiders! That'd be weird, huh? One report says that owner Mark Davis took an exploratory visit to the city earlier this month, since the Raiders' lease in Oakland expires after this NFL season....
Report: MLB GMs Are Sick Of Dealing With The Mariners
Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal dropped a report yesterday that MLB executives are getting sick and tired of waiting for Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik, widely expected to be a buyer at the trade deadline, to actually buy something....
MLB Reaches 2,000,000 Strikeouts
This past weekend Danny Salazar recorded the 2,000,000th strikeout in MLB history. Given it took MLB until 1976 to reach 1,000,000 strikeouts, why did the league's second million strikeouts come so much quicker than its first?...
Stephen A. Smith Is Off ESPN For The Next Week
The statement from ESPN, which very specifically does not mention the word "suspension":...
Here's A "Cute" Video That Will Just Completely Ruin Your Day
This video is fucked up, man....
WWE Meets Godzilla Is Entertaining As Hell
Here's what an actual match looks like....
Oklahoma State Avoids APR Penalties Thanks To Player From The 1990s
One of the NCAA's favorite weapons in its PR battle to classify amateur athletes as "student-athletes" is Academic Progress Rate, a formula which provides academic benchmarks programs must achieve to avoid penalties. How meaningless is APR? Oklahoma State football only managed to clear the bar by in...
Clayton Kershaw Nails Jimmy Kimmel In The Face With A Baseball
Do you want to see Clayton Kershaw hit Jimmy Kimmel in his face with a baseball? You're in luck! It's not an actual baseball, and Kershaw isn't exactly laying it in there, because that would all be too gruesome for late night TV. But the sound, and the sight of Kimmel getting it right in the face, a...
The Real Negrodamus: On Chris Rock's Hilariously Prescient <em>Born Suspect</em>
Chris Rock said white people would never let it happen. A plan would be devised....
Bartender Unwittingly Serves "Flaming Lithuanian"
Keep an eye on the balding fellow, leftmost among the guys in white shirts at the start of the video. Look at that poor bastard. Dude's tired and depressed from a long day of middle-managing a Lithuanian bioinformatics firm or whatever, just minding his own business, trying to have a drink and a g...
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....
Texas Longhorns Kicker Has The Best Roster Headshot
Texas Longhorns placekicker Nick Rose looks like he got lost on the way to Warped Tour. Where's the rest of Family Force 5?...
Melky Cabrera's HR Broke A Car Windshield Across The Street From Fenway
Toronto's 14-1 win over Boston was an all-out pummeling, punctuated by Melky Cabrera's second home run on the night, a three-run shot in the nine-run sixth inning. Cabrera's shot to left-center, officially tracked at a disappointing 410 feet, completely cleared the stadium and cracked a car windsh...
The Five-Forty Eight
Ah, now he's a gem from The New Yorker--John Cheever's 1954 short story, "The Five-Forty-Eight":...