k Page 2826 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...

Idiot's Apology To Erin Andrews: "15 Lbs. Heavier, She'd Be A Waitress"
WEEI/NESN personality Kirk Minihane apologized on-air today for calling Erin Andrews a "gutless bitch," only to immediately follow it up with the assertion that "if she weighed 15 pounds more, she'd be a waitress at Perkins."...

Chase Headley Meets New Team Mid-Game, Hits Walk-Off Single In 14th
That's newly-acquired Yankees third baseman Chase Headley meeting his new coaches and teammates for the first time since he was traded from the Padres earlier in the day. He had to catch a flight from Chicago, where San Diego was set to play the Cubs, so he was not expected to get to the stadium o...

LeBron Sent Cupcakes To His Neighbors After The Media Crush At His House
A user on the NBA subreddit posted the picture above claiming that his parents live on the same street as LeBron in Bath, OH. Apparently LeBron and his family sent a little note and some cupcakes to their neighbors to apologize and thank them for understanding the media circus that went down in thei...

Seahawks Mascot Stutter-Steps, 49ers Fan Falls Like A Sack Of Potatoes
The bounce. The bounce is what makes this particularly humiliating for the San Francisco fan and absolutely wonderful for the rest of us. That it comes as he tries to adjust his pants while a furry mascot crosses him up is but a delicious, added bonus. ...

Jack White And The Chicago Cubs Experience
It's the party of the century and Jack White is turned all the way up to 11 for it. ...

A Reminder: LeBron Is A Freak Genius With A Photographic Memory
ESPN's Brian Windhorst has a new profile on LeBron; it's good, and ostensibly about how LeBron uses his uncommonly good memory to enhance to his more obvious physical talent. It's full of relevant basketball examples and wide-eyed onlookers. It's also front-loaded with some stories that are actually...

Maria Kirilenko On Dumping Alex Ovechkin Over Instagram Photo: Nyet
In case you haven't heard, Alex Ovechkin and tennis player Maria Kirilenko announced their split Monday. Goodbye, incredibly athletic Russian power couple. An SI report said that the breakup occurred over Ovechkin's Instagram photo with another girl, but according to Kirilenko, that's false....

Jets Fans Can Earn Rewards Points For Not Being Assholes
The Jets have announced a new rewards program for its season-ticket holders, in which they can win things like Super Bowl tickets and a ride on the team's charter flight. All it'll take to accrue points is to show up, and not to be ejected from MetLife Stadium for being a drunken, belligerent mess. ...

Warm Your Heart With A Supercut Of Kids Swearing In Movies
There's something disarming about a little kid swearing. It's shocking and delightful at the same time, even though it's not supposed to be encouraged. That's real life, though. This supercut of children cursing in movies, however, can be enjoyed without guilt. Embrace the profanity, especially "bun...

West Virginia's Starting Quarterback Has A Cool Thought About Women
Cool thought, Clint Trickett. Super cool thought....

What's Karl Marx Doing In These Arguments Against College Athlete Pay?
Bob Bowlsby is a man with a very influential job. He is the commissioner of the Big 12 conference, one of the so-called power conferences that helps set policy for major college football. He also harbors a belief that is most commonly associated with pre-20th-century economics, and has really on...

And Now, A Lively Interaction Between Darren Rovell And A Twitter User
It starts, as it always does, with a completely useless Darren Rovell tweet:...

Don't Cut Your Hamburgers In Half
Before we get to the Funbag, you should know that very soon, it's going to be time for the 32-part satanic incantation of our WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS NFL previews. So much sucking to do! So if your team sucks (and I do mean your team; don't be the asshole Redskins fan who writes in to bitch about the ...

Never Change, OBC
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

David Beckham Can't Find Anywhere To Build His Soccer Stadium In Miami
In February, Major League Soccer announced David Beckham would buy an expansion franchise to play in Miami for only $25 million, a perk from the contract Beckham signed with the Los Angeles Galaxy in 2007. The same day, Beckham revealed that he planned to build a new stadium for the team, funding th...

How To Ditch The Pillsbury Dough-Log And Make Your Own Cookies
Ah, the chocolate-chip cookie. Many a confectionery addiction kicked off the moment an impressionable youngster watched a vulgar blue puppet shovel platefuls of these things into his gaping, vacant mouth-hole. This obsession probably also explains why the Sexy Cookie Monster costume exists. (Relate...

How To Legitimize Bigotry: Embrace Debate
This morning, Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless shouted at each other about Tony Dungy's comments that Michael Sam's sexuality would be an overriding distraction in an NFL locker room, and whether it was a bigger distraction that Michael Vick's return from prison. I'm sorry, that's the worst sente...

Daughter-In-Law Of Nike Founder Arrested On Student Sex Charges
Melissa Bowerman, high school track coach and daughter-in-law of Nike founder Bill Bowerman, is again facing allegations of improper relations with a student. But this time the charges are serious and Bowerman is behind bars. ...

Marshawn Lynch Apparently Ropes Off His Lamborghini When He Parks
If this Twitter user is to be believed, Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch uses velvet ropes to cordon off his Lamborghini Aventador Roadster when he parks. Are there always velvet ropes in his car, or does someone else bring them for him?...