k Page 3111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch This Russian Bear Do Tricks, Because Russian Bears Are The Best
This video has been popping up all over the internet the last few days, so if you haven't seen it yet consider this your chance to amend that mistake. Nobody should go through life without having seen a Russian bear play the trumpet, use a hula hoop, and sit in a chair like a human being. There are...
Help! My Couch Is Humiliating!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
All Night Long
Back in 1969, Jimmy Breslin spent a night hanging out with Broadway Joe Namath:...
The Marlins Are Responsible For 40 Percent Of MLB's Attendance Drop
Today's Tom Verducci column in Sports Illustrated contains a very sad bit of information about everyone's favorite laughingstock of a franchise: the Miami Marlins....
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Super Why!</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
Pirates Broadcaster On The Pirates' Hot Streak: "This Is Kinky!"
The Pittsburgh Pirates, you guys! They've been spanking their fans for years, but now they've won 19 games in May. They haven't lost a series since May 5. Last night they won 1-0 for the fourth time in 11 games. And cuddly color man Steve Blass is just tickled by it all....
Casting True Yankees Fans: Wall Street Guys, The Working Man, Hipsters
A tipster who has access to these sorts of things passed along a casting call today for an AT&T commercial saluting the fine career of Mariano Rivera. (Mo, if you're reading, we apologize for spoiling the surprise.) The memo explains exactly who is a true Yankee fan, by central casting's lights. The...
"I'm Sure I Have Contributed To False Values": Red Smith, On Writing
Over a three-year period in the early 1970s, Chicago newspaperman Jerome Holtzman interviewed 18 sportswriters. These were men from the previous couple of generations, and they'd devoted their lives to covering sports: Fred Lib, Dan Daniel, John Drebinger, Paul Gallico, Shirley Povich, Jimmy Cannon,...
A New MLB Rule Forced Royals-Cardinals To Go 8 Soggy Hours
The listed time of game for the desperate Royals' 4-2 win over the Cardinals was a crisp 2:27. This is how box scores lie to you. The last out was recorded at 3:14 a.m. CDT, with maybe 100 fans left in the stadium. In baseball limbo, Mitchell Boggs is forever coming on to protect a lead....
It Took A While, But Michigan Decides That Fried Chicken Jokes Are Bad
On May 24, radio host and University of Michigan football announcer Frank Beckmann decided to take to The Detroit News to weigh in on Sergio Garcia's "fried chicken" comments about Tiger Woods. This didn't prove wise, because Beckmann came off as dumb, insensitive, and/or racist, which are generally...
Here Is The Paterno Family's Lawsuit Against The NCAA
Though delayed by overtime hockey, Costas Tonight eventually devoted a whole hour last night to a re-examination of the Freeh report. Bob Costas said at the outset—and at the end of the program—that he had invited Louis Freeh and NCAA president Mark Emmert to participate in the discussion. They decl...
NASCAR Driver Found With Seven Stolen Vehicles Belonging To Rival
Mike Harmon, driver in NASCAR's Nationwide Series and truck series, might be in a bit of trouble. He was found with five racing trucks and two racing cars, apparently belonging to his former business associate—the same one he allegedly stole a trailer from two weeks ago, leading to an arrest....
We'll Never Know If Brett Favre Had To Discuss His Penis Under Oath
The sexual harassment lawsuit against one Brett Lorenzo Favre, filed in January 2011 by two female massage therapists who worked for the Jets, has been resolved. Late Friday afternoon, long after most people had shoved off for the long holiday weekend, the AP reported that a settlement had been reac...
The Royals Are Calling On The Last Man Who Can Possibly Save Them
Teams hire their legends as their coaches (e.g., Roy to the Avs) with mixed feelings. On one hand: Who better to bring success to a franchise than someone who had it there before? On the other: How did the hiring process go so poorly that a team wound up with a sentimental, nostalgic choice as the f...
This Shitting Dog Is The Blackhawks' Good Luck Charm
Turns out the Red Wings lost to a pile of dog crap....
This Time, The Egg Avoided Jim Knox's Face
Let's recount our Jim Knox greatest hits:...