kids Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl
The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...
Melky Cabrera Totally Ruined This Kid's Day
The San Francisco Chronicle has a gutpunch of a piece, telling the story of one little boy looking forward to the best birthday ever: a day at the ballpark to watch his favorite player, Melky Cabrera....
Boy Kicked Out Of National Scrabble Championship After Getting Caught With The Worst Cheating Strategy Ever
Division 3 isn't exactly the big time in the Scrabble world—It's roughly the skill level of "any great living-room player out there," says the National Scrabble Association's executive director—but this is still the championship. Not a county championship, not a state championship, but the national ...
Adorable Canadian Child Sends Medal To DQ'd Relay Team, Accurately Describes Canada As "Cold"
Well isn't this fricking precious? Ten-year-old Elijah Porter was heartbroken when the Canadian 4x100 team appeared to take bronze, only to be disqualified for running outside the lane. So Elijah sent a letter to Justyn Warner, Gavin Smellie, Jared Connaughton, and Oluseyi Smith, and included his me...
This Is The Worst National Anthem Rendition Ever
Back in January, we brought you Steven Tyler's "Star-Spangled Banner" performance and asked how it stacked up to the worst-ever performances. (Your leading vote-getter was Roseanne's regrettable 1990 crotch-grabbing rendition.)...
Stop Filming Your Kids Crying Over Sports
Here's a little girl in tears over Ichiro Suzuki being traded away from the Seattle Mariners. We've been sent this video a few times, and we'll take the chance to address this now, rather than respond to each individually: We don't care about your or anyone else's little kids crying over sports....
This Is The Best Free Kick Goal By An Eight-Year-Old You'll See For Awhile
We have pretty much zero information on this, other than it showed up on YouTube today with comments disabled and in the wrong format. We could ask questions, but it's better to just enjoy what's a pretty outstanding free kick most adults would fail in an attempt....
Brandon Jacobs Pays Back Six-Year-Old Who Mailed $3.36 From His Piggy Bank
When we last heard from six-year-old Joe Armento, he had unsuccessfully attempted to persuade running back Brandon Jacobs, who had just signed as a free agent with the San Francisco 49ers, to stay put in New York. More precisely, he tried to lure him back by enclosing in the envelope $3.36 from his ...
"Good Job, Good Effort" Kid Identified As World's Best Miami Heat Fan
Nine-year-old Jack Meyer of Coral Gables, Florida, is not, to some's chagrin, the world's trolliest troll of a Celts fan. He's actually an insanely upbeat Heat fan, and that's kind of awesome. NBC Miami interviewed the youngster earlier today to try and get a sense of what it was like to become the...
The Miami Heat's "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid As Heard Throughout History
He was there to tell Napoleon "Good job!" when the Little Emperor invaded Russia. He called the 1962 Mets season a "good effort." The young Heat fan who so enthusiastically endorsed his team's performance after last night's loss to the Celtics is no stranger to momentous occasions—in sports or oth...
Six-Year-Old Sends Brandon Jacobs $3.36 To Stay With The Giants
Brandon Jacobs is not what you would call a great running back. But that doesn't matter when you're six years old, and you attach yourself to a player for the least rational of reasons. Maybe young Joe saw Brandon Jacobs score a single touchdown on a particularly formative viewing day. Maybe Joe's p...
Dear Abby: Cleveland Sports Have Created An 8-Year-Old Psychopath
Yesterday's "Dear Abby" column featured "Good dad in Cleveland," who's seeking advice on what to do with his eight-year-old son, understandably driven to animal abuse by the frustrations of being a Cleveland sports fan. Little Junior loves sports, you see, but "he has trouble accepting a loss. He'll...
Soccer Player Takes Photo With Adorable Child—And <i>Playboy</i> Magazine He Just Bought
Panamanian defender Felipe Baloy plays for Mexican side Santos Laguna, and when approached by a charming little tyke decked out in full Warriors uniform, he happily knelt and posed for a photo. So did Ms. Jackeline Arroyo, cover model for the March issue of Playboy's Mexican edition....
Real Madrid's Iker Casillas Wiped His Boogers On A Child's Face
Real Madrid's Champions League first leg against APOEL was three days ago, but video is only now emerging of the most exciting thing to happen in that mismatch: Real keeper Iker Casillas wiping his nose, then wiping his hand on the face of one of those kids who lead the players onto the pitch. Nev...
Polish U8 Soccer Match Abandoned After Fans Light Flares, Generally Go Nuts
Poland has a history of fans disrupting youth soccer games, for what we suspect are shits and giggles. Here's another one—undated, with no details, but at one point a fan is shown with the flag of FC Wągrowiec (apparently distinct from third-tier side Nielba Wągrowiec)....
Dancing Canucks Kid Is Sexy And He Knows It
Even less concerned with the judgment of strangers? The guy behind him, drinking his Mike's Hard Lemonade. [via Hot Clicks]...
Youth Hockey Coach Makes Sick Yo Momma Burn
A minor hockey coach in Timmons, Ontario, was suspended after making some inappropriate comments about a 12-year-old player's mother during a pregame locker room speech. Now, this is definitely not okay, and it was surely mortifying for a young child to be bullied by an authority figure. That said, ...
Precocious And Horrifying Four-Year-Old Kills Two Deer With Shotgun
Ohio or Florida? Trick question; it's Virginia, one of the few states that doesn't have a minimum age for hunting. Little James Futrell, returns after winter break having grown up faster than his pre-kindergarten classmates. He has stalked the beast, and bathed in its blood....
Parents: Mike Milbury Shook, Screamed At 12-Year-Old Player
Last Friday evening, two Boston-area youth hockey teams got together for their own Winter Classic, to be held outside at the Anderson Rink in Brookline. It was going to be a good time: an exhibition game between the Boch Blazers and the Boston Junior Blackhawks, followed by a family skate and a pizz...
Here's An Adorably Vicious Hockey Brawl With 9-Year-Olds
Making the rounds today is this pro-quality brawl between two Kazakhstani U10 teams. If the biased YouTube uploader is to be believed, it began after the winning Astana team (in white) kept trash talking during the handshake line. What's Kazakh for "I can't believe I shook this guy's frigging hand...