ks Page 612 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![We Are All Living In Hell [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
We Are All Living In Hell [Update]
There is no ever-loving deity. There is only Satan himself, handling the levers and pulleys that guide our lives, our limbs, our souls. Update: ...

Mavericks Surf Contest Begrudgingly Allows Women To Compete
For the first time in its history, one of the most prestigious surf contests in the country will include a women’s heat in its 2016-17 competition. But the addition to the Titans of Mavericks competition wasn’t done solely because Mavericks organizers felt like it. It was required by the California...

The Jacksonville Jaguars, Everybody
The Jags had pinned Oakland back for fourth-and-24, and the Raiders made things even harder on themselves by botching the punt’s long snap. The result of the play? First down, Oakland....

Chicago Cubs Are National League Champions<em></em>
The Cubs just needed to win a game. And so they did, shutting out the Dodgers 5-0 Saturday night to earn a trip to the World Series for the first time since 1945. That was so long ago (how long ago was it?!) that this marks their first ever NLCS win as the World War II-era pennant was a simple matt...

Draymond Green's Taekwondo Skills Are Already In Midseason Form
Draymond “The Human Vasectomy” Green, whose reputation is rooted in his kicking ability as much as it is his actual basketball skills, is back at the martial arts-ing, even in preseason. Here he is last night against the Blazers, leveling his big foot toward Allen Crabbe:...

Dustin Brown Can Make A Lob Look Sexy
As far as outright winners go, lobs might be the least exhilarating way to terminate a point of tennis. You plop the tennis ball high into the air, way out of your opponent’s reach, and then it falls way back down into the court, hooray. You can respect the lob on a technical level—an especially def...

We're The Staff Of Deadspin, Let's Chat
The internet is broken, but this website isn’t, nor is our will to answer questions about potential intrastaff desert-island cannibalism. Ask us stuff below....

Today's Internet Outage Looks Like A Giant Dong
Internet outages are penetrating the coasts today after hackers orchestrated a DDoS attack on the servers of Dyn, a domain name hosting service. It’s also a huge dick. Nice....

WNBA: Refs Screwed Up, Go-Ahead Basket Should Not Have Counted
With the score tied up at 71 with under two minutes left in the last game of the WNBA Finals, the Sparks recovered an offensive rebound, swung the ball around, and eventually found their star Nneka Ogwumike for a relatively easy turnaround shot. She made it, and eventually would make the game-winnin...

Capitals Player Daniel Winnik Lost A Chunk Of His Ear Blocking A Shot
If you don’t want to see a hockey player lose a chunk of his ear, don’t watch this video, because it features a hockey player losing a chunk of his ear. It’s not graphic, but Daniel Winnik does end it with less total ears than he started with....

BYU Pick-Six A Masterful Display Of Avoiding Tackles
Fred Warner picked off a Brett Rypien pass and returned it 59 yards to give BYU its first touchdown of the night against Boise State, and he did so with so much flair it required a lengthy replay review—one that, eventually, upheld the play....

Dude Misses Dunk, Somehow Produces A Spectacular Highlight Anyway
This, my friends, is a pretty goddamn special basketball highlight....

Report: Russell Wilson Has Fucked, Plans To Fuck Again
Russell Wilson and Ciara got married three months ago. The happy couple recently said that they had done it (sex) to each other, and per a report from E!, they might very well be expecting a child. ...

Stephen Hauschka Has Been Letting People Spell His Name Wrong This Whole Time
For years, every football fan in America has been living in a world in which the Seattle Seahawks employ a kicker named Steven Hauschka. Today, we all discovered that Hauschka has been letting all of us live in a false reality....
![BuzzFeed CEO: Ivanka Trump Told Me She Wanted To See "Mulatto Cock" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gcygl37fhaffsmv1mlcy.png)
BuzzFeed CEO: Ivanka Trump Told Me She Wanted To See "Mulatto Cock" [UPDATE]
BuzzFeed CEO Jonah Peretti decided to share a little insight into Ivanka Trump’s capacity for lewdness on Twitter earlier today. According to Peretti, Ivanka is particularly interested in seeing “a mulatto cock.”...
![Derrick Rose Found Not Liable In Civil Rape Trial [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/zeam6r0w1w7a1naxzft2.jpg)
Derrick Rose Found Not Liable In Civil Rape Trial [Updated]
Knicks guard Derrick Rose was found not liable on all counts today in the civil suit accusing him and two friends of gang-raping a woman in 2013. Rose’s two friends, Ryan Allen and Randall Hampton, were cleared on all counts as well....

Marian Hossa Scores His 500th Goal
Marian Hossa had a long time to think about this. He finished last year stuck on 499 goals, and if he didn’t spend the entire offseason imagining the precise circumstances of his milestone goal, he knew he wanted a goalie to be involved....

Everyone Got Called A Liar In Closing Arguments At The Derrick Rose Trial<em></em>
Lawyers for both sides in the Derrick Rose trial made their closing arguments today and the proceeding ended the way it began—with both sides telling vastly different stories about what happened in the early hours inside Jane Doe’s Los Angeles apartment back in 2013. ...

Hawks Coach Mike Budenholzer Got Taken Out By Langston Galloway
The NBA preseason is too long and isn’t good for much besides cursory evaluations of new players (like Joel Embiid) and injuries. Hawks coach Mike Budenholzer fell victim to a wayward Langston Galoway attempt to save the ball in the second quarter this evening, and he went down hard....

Derrick Rose's Accuser Questioned About Text Messages On Final Day Of Testimony
The Derrick Rose civil trial, in its last hours of testimony, was all about text messages on Tuesday. It began with Jane Doe answering questions about text messages her attorneys failed to submit to the defense earlier in the trial, continued with lawyers fighting over even more text messages, and e...