ks Page 693 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Tell If You're Being A Crank On The Internet, And How To Stop
Man, you sure are het up! Agitated. Can you believe these goddamn coddled athletes/P.C. Police/Now Finaglin' Cheatriots/Twitter-celebrated pop stars of possibly dubious talent/people talking about the colors on a dress when we haven't even solved all The Problems yet? I mean, cheese and rice! ...

Teuvo!
Alright, so maybe it's unrealistic to expect Blackhawks prospect Teuvo Teravainen to fill the skates and the scoresheets of the injured Patrick Kane. But the heralded 20-year-old, in his return to the big club, scored on his very first shift. And it was nasty....

Photoshop Data: That Goddamn Dress Is Actually Blue And Brown
Since the collected staff of Deadspin is just about ready to split into teams and murder each other over the color of a dress in a photo from Twitter, let's crack open Photoshop and see what it has to say about this stupid dress. ...

Maple Leafs Somehow Rid Themselves Of David Clarkson's Contract
The Maple Leafs earned a small victory today. Ha, no, not on the ice. Toronto found a team willing to take on the albatross that is David Clarkson's contract. Congratulations, Blue Jackets!...

Rex Ryan Got A Giant Bills Logo Painted On His Truck
I will always find Rex Ryan's willingness to go full fanboy on whatever team he's coaching to be immensely charming. It was great when he got a picture of his wife wearing nothing but a Jets jersey tattooed on his arm, and it was great when he got that Jets jersey turned into a Bills one. So I am 10...

Llamas On Llam Llose Llawmen
A pair of lost llamas led Sun City, Ariz. cops on a lengthy chase this afternoon, tying up law enforcement resources and leaving the city free for plundering by the handful of criminals who weren't watching, rapt, in their offices. Watch the entire, hilarious pursuit here, set (of course) to "Yakety...

Finally, A Sierra Nevada Beer We Can Talk Shit About
Yesterday afternoon, I got a nice, simple email that nevertheless caused much undue consternation at Drunkspin Headquarters. It was from the new head of media relations (or whatever) at Victory Brewing, a mid-sized, widely distributed Pennsylvanian operation of which I am quite fond. I have public...


Madonna Crashes And Burns At BRIT Awards Ceremony
Tonight in London, Madonna put her love to the test at the BRIT Awards. Her love failed, or at least her legs did. Call it a wardrobe failure if you must, but this is Madonna eating it in the least graceful of ways....


If The Dez Bryant Video Exists, We'll Buy It
We do not know if there is actually video of Dez Bryant doing something very, very bad. If there is, we will pay money for it. ...

Dutch Beer Sucks. Blame The Weed.
There is some debate within the Craft Beer Movement™ about every goddamn thing, so it makes sense that the list of contentious issues begins with the very phrase "craft beer." The Brewers Association defines "craft" as ... just kidding, fuck off, who cares. Without spelling it all out, let us just...

Larry Sanders Explains Why He Walked Away From Basketball
After taking an extended leave from the Milwaukee Bucks early in the season, Larry Sanders negotiated a buyout with the team last week. Now, in a video produced by The Players' Tribune, the 26-year-old center sheds some light on why he left the Bucks, and why he has no intention of returning to bask...

Rick Carlisle Gets The Business From Rajon Rondo, Reporter
Dallas Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle did not have the best day at the office yesterday. His team came away with a 99-92 victory over the Toronto Raptors, which was good, but he also got into a shouting match with starting point guard Rajon Rondo in the middle of the game, which was very bad. Th...

Patrick Kane Injured, Could Be Out A Long While
If you're a Chicago sports fan, you are not reading this, because there's no way you're getting out of bed today. On the same night the city realized that Derrick Rose will never ever be the same again, Blackhawks star Patrick Kane went down with an injury that could reportedly keep him out deep int...

Marshawn Lynch Made A Movie About His Life And It Looks Really Bad
Listen, I'm as confused as you are, but this is appears to be a promo for a movie about the life of Marshawn Lynch, starring Marshawn Lynch. It looks like an extremely bad movie! ...

Uh, Guys? I Think The Wizards Forgot To Fire Randy Wittman?
Coming into Sunday's game in Detroit, the Washington Wizards had lost two straight and 9 of 13, a month-long stretch of almost uniformly horrendous basketball in which they've fallen from second to fifth in the East. After the 38-point beating they took from the Cavs at home this past Friday, even t...

ESPN Suspends Keith Olbermann For Penn State Tweets
Last night, Keith Olbermann got into it on Twitter with Penn State fans and students—originally over, of all things, the school's annual pediatric cancer fundraiser. (His tweets are embedded below.) It was weird and unnecessary, and now ESPN has taken Olbermann off TV for the rest of the week....

Bill Self Gets Crushed By Court-Stormers, Is Not Pleased
Unranked Kansas State knocked off the in-state rival Jayhawks at home last night, and that means it was time for a good old-fashioned court stormin'. Unfortunately for Kansas head coach Bill Self, the students who ran onto the court weren't too concerned with his well-being....
