ks Page 716 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is CenturyLink Field Selling Watered-Down Beer?
A Seattle news station purchased multiple beers at Seahawks and Sounders games, had them tested, and discovered that in every case, the samples' ABV were below those beers' advertised numbers—sometimes illegally so....

Dirk Nowitzki Says He Invented The "White Version" Of The Dream Shake
With 23 points last night, Dirk Nowitzki moved into ninth place on the NBA all-time scoring list. He passed Rockets legend Hakeem Olajuwon, meaning that Nowitzki has now scored more points in the NBA than any other foreign-born player....

Marshawn Lynch Makes Seahawks Kicker Steven Hauschka Dance With Him
Steven Hauschka isn't really "dancing"; he's basically moving around so Marshawn Lynch doesn't inadvertently horse-collar him. If Beast Mode wants to dance, you dance....

Delirium Tremens: A Refreshingly Morbid Belgian Ale
Last week, Esquire published a gentle little rant decrying the rise of lower-alcohol session beer. The author's mistaken thesis is that the praise pendulum has swung too far away from the sort of mighty, boozy beers he prefers and too close to an imaginary wave of thin, watery Bud Light-alikes who...

Mark Sanchez Kept The Machine Running Smoothly And Then Had Cheesesteaks
This is not a declaration about how Mark Sanchez has revitalized his career in one night, nor of confident belief that the Eagles' playoff hopes are intact. If there's anything to draw from last night's blowout of the Panthers, it's just that Chip Kelly's team still has a chance. That's good enoug...

Phil Jackson Gets Mad At Perfectly Legitimate Criticism
The New York Knicks aren't a very good basketball team, and at times this season they have clearly struggled to implement coach Derek Fisher's version of the triangle offense. When asked by reporters about the Knicks, this led NBA commissioner Adam Silver to direct some light teasing their way. Via ...

Take This Photo Of Mark Sanchez And Photoshop It
This photo of Mark Sanchez by Elsa popped up on Getty tonight, and we think it's funny. You should Photoshop it! Here's a handy, pre-transparencied .PNG file for you....

Which Guitar Solo Should You Fuck To?
Music makes sex even awesomer. But while there's a genre for every type of inter-personal physical expression, it's less clear how to match your accompaniment to specific sex durations. We're here to help....

Seahawks Mascot's Tail Looks Like A Big Ol' Dong
Seahawks punter Jon Ryan's girlfriend Sarah Colonna took a photo with team mascot Blitz. Ryan later noticed that Blitz's tail was in the photo, but it didn't look like his tail....

We Have To Talk About Carmelo Anthony's Hat
Carmelo Anthony wore this hat during his postgame interview on Friday night, and boy, is it a hat. It's debatable whether acid-washed pork pie hats are a real thing, or if Anthony created this in a laundry accident that involved a lot of bleach....

Angelo Badalamenti Seems Like A Nice Guy
I guess I had always assumed Angelo Badalamenti was some awfully hip, overeducated Italian in an expensive turtleneck, some godson of Antonioni, who applied a sort of smug, cynical viewing of American soap operas when composing the theme music for "Twin Peaks." But nah! He's a cool old dude from B...

Guinness Blonde American Lager Is Pandering To You, Badly
Guinness occupies its own weird niche in the beer world. It's owned by a gigantic international corporation (London-based Diageo) and is contract brewed in dozens of factories around the world, making it only nominally Irish, and not at all crafty or artisanal. Yet the brand's flagship stout is stil...

The Internet Has A “Problem” Problem
Hey, you saw "Too Many Cooks," right? That batshit-insane, 11-minute Adult Swim video that lampoons the opening credits of old network sitcoms (or current Disney Channel sitcoms, if you've ever been forced to watch one)? It was funny, right? LOL THE '80S WERE SO DUMB. I know I enjoyed it. ...

Seahawks Mascot Decides To Hang Out With Fans In The Stands
Taima the Augur hawk didn't feel like following her usual flight around the stadium before today's Giants-Seahawks game. She took a detour and landed on a Seahawks fan, because she's a hawk and can do whatever she wants. Taima could have picked a closer seat for the game, though....

This Woman Might Convince You That Your Energy Drink Was Made By Satan
I mean, you can't argue with facts. "Bottoms up, and the Devil laughs."...

Forgive Kansas Fans, They Don't Know How To Tear Down Goalposts
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Receiver's Blunder Turns 78 Yard TD Catch Into 100 Yard Fumble Return
Kaelin Clay should have had a 79-yard touchdown catch to put Utah up 14-0 on Oregon. Instead, the Ducks tied the game when Clay dropped the ball short of the goal line and Oregon's Joe Walker picked it up to go the entire length of the field in the opposite direction....

Auburn Attempts Field Goal At End Of Half, Gives Up Touchdown Instead
Auburn was expected to cruise past a Texas A & M team without its starting quarterback today, only to find freshman Kyle Allen throwing four touchdown passes against them in the first half and a further deficit thanks to this breakdown at the end of the half, a ten-point swing that left the intermis...

Does Banana Bread Belong In Your Beer?
Bananas are pretty good. I'm not sure if Deadspin has ever issued a ranking of the fruits (editor's note: duh), but they probably have, and it was probably wrong, because everyone always underestimates kiwis and pretends to be too cool for apples. But if I were ever consulted on such a project, I'd ...
