ks Page 720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Percy Harvin Traded To Jets; Marshawn Lynch Is Sad
What the hell? The Seahawks are reportedly shipping wide receiver Percy Harvin to the Jets for a conditional draft pick. Jay Glazer had the scoop first....

Chugging Is Dumb
We need to talk about your drinking. To have an intervention, of sorts....

All Pumpkin Everything: How Did Fall Turn Into Nutmeg Season?
The list of pumpkin-spiced items to which we are seasonally exposed grows longer every year: Since Starbucks opened the floodgates with the Pumpkin Spice Latte in 2003, we've been enticed, repulsed, and confused by similarly flavored vodka, bagels, yogurt, donuts, oatmeal, M&Ms, etc. And yes, this...

Scrimshaw Pilsner: Even The Best Beers Can't Defeat Dirty Draft Lines
Happy Sub-Five-Percent Friday, where we try to find a nice, gentle beer to help you minimize the damage from your inevitable weekend binge. ...


Amar'e Stoudemire Bathes In Red Wine, For Some Damn Reason
This morning, Knicks forward Amar'e Stoudemire posted a photo of himself bathing in red wine on his Instagram page. At the time, I honestly did not believe he was actually bathing in red wine, because why would a person do that? I was wrong. Amar'e Stoudemire bathes in wine all the damn time....

<em>Red Dawn</em> Is Delusional Right-Wing Porn In The Best Possible Way
The best scenes in the original 1978 Dawn of the Dead aren't the early bursts of urban confusion or the biker-zombie rumbles. They're the scenes where the four isolated survivors giddily run through an abandoned shopping mall, balling out with the artifacts of a just-dead culture. They use mannequ...

MLS Commissioner Has Some Dumb Shit To Say About Jürgen Klinsmann
USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann has taken up one of his favorite pastimes recently: criticizing the U.S.'s subpar domestic soccer. Last week, Klinsmann made waves by coming out in support of a promotion-relegation system. On Tuesday, he took time to lament the return to MLS of America's best players, n...

Bell's Two-Hearted Ale Is Contrarian-Proof (Dammit)
A couple of my friends recently went to Denver for the Great American Beer Festival, and they stayed out there for at least a week afterward to tour the local breweries, which made me jealous and depressed. Jealous for the obvious reason, and depressed because it forced me to realize that I'll nev...

Pete Carroll Bluffs His Way Through Press Conference About Rugby Leaguer
Rumors have had Jarryd Hayne talking with the Seahawks, so at his press conference yesterday, Pete Carroll was peppered with questions about the rugby league star who announced this week he's leaving Australia to chase his NFL dreams. He performed admirably, gushing about Hayne. The Seahawks PR guy ...

Important NBA Voices Begin Agitating For A Shorter Season
The book on NBA Commissioner Adam Silver reads that he is an innovator, more open to radical change than expected from somebody whose most salient job responsibility is protecting a multibillion dollar industry. And now that Silver has kicked Donald Sterling to the curb and signed a new media rights...

Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye Is A Rye Beer Worth Fighting For (Or About)
The easiest way to upset a self-identified Beer Geek is to point out the nipple-blood that's soaked through his couple-of-Xs-too-small "Water & Barley & Hops & Yeast" t-shirt. After that, you might as well compound the problem by pointing out that lots of great beers contain all sorts of extra ingre...

Ball State Football Players Allegedly Involved In "Poo Dollar" Prank
The "poo dollar" is a prank in which a person—likely a teen because teens are the absolute worst—wipes their ass with a dollar and then leaves it on the ground so that an unsuspecting mark will them come and pick it up and get poop all over their hand. According to police, three Ball State football ...

There Is No Excuse For Drinking Heineken
An editor at a more hopeful outfit recently asked me to write a few paragraphs about the best new beer of 2014. I chose an expensive saison, because that's the kind of thing I like, and he had no problem with the selection, but requested that my article explain why it would appeal "to a Bud Light ...

The Professional: Donald E. Westlake
Donald E. Westlake (1933-2008) was one of our most prolific and entertaining writers. Now, we've got this posthumous treat: The Getaway Car: A Donald Westlake Nonfiction Miscellany, published by the University of Chicago Press and edited by Levi Stahl. The book is a ton of fun. I recently had the ch...

Drunk Seahawks Fan Has Foolproof Plan For Hanging On To Her Purse
High on the list of shit you don't wanna deal with when you're hammered is "carrying stuff." Having to carry literally anything that is not a slice of pizza while drunk is one of life's biggest drags, because your inebriated subconscious will do whatever it can to drive you to drop or misplace that ...

The Rams Will Wear Those Sweet 1999 Throwbacks Tonight
St. Louis is breaking out the 1999 throwback uniforms for Monday Night Football tonight, and goddamn, it brings back some fond memories. I genuinely wonder how much of that is the actual uniform and how much is the fact that it was last worn by one of the most exciting teams of football's modern era...

Oskar Blues Old Chub Does Canned Scotch Ale From Colorado Proud
If you want to be taken seriously in the American beer-geek underground, the first thing you've got to do is grow a big, nasty beard. This is a bit of a challenge for the many aspiring beer geeks who happen to be women or unscuzzy men, but rules are rules. I need to see your beard before I can hear ...

Terrance Williams's Catch Was Great, But Tony Romo's Throw Was Better
The best and most important play on Sunday was Tony Romo's hookup with Terrance Williams on a third-and-20, keeping alive a fourth-quarter drive that would end in the Cowboys' go-ahead touchdown against the Seahawks. There had been 55 third-and-at-least-20s to that point in the season, according to ...