Drunk Seahawks Fan Has Foolproof Plan For Hanging On To Her Purse

High on the list of shit you don't wanna deal with when you're hammered is "carrying stuff." Having to carry literally anything that is not a slice of pizza while drunk is one of life's biggest drags, because your inebriated subconscious will do whatever it can to drive you to drop or misplace that stupid purse or umbrella or sweatshirt—Where'fuck's my jacket-coat, man? The coat! With hood and the strings ... Fuck it!—so that your hands will then be free to hold pizza, or, like, a burrito.

Which is to say, we admire this drunk lady, who was spotted needing some help getting down the stairs after the Seahawks game on Sunday. She wasn't about to let the fact that she forgot to leave her fucking stupid fucking clutch in the car ruin her night, so she just went all out and stuffed that motherfucker down the back of her pants. What's that? You think she looks stupid? Well, guess who didn't lose her debit card and was able to buy two slices of pizza, or, like, a burrito later in the evening? Yeah, shut your smart mouth.

Photos via reader Mark