ks Page 822 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is The Letter You Get From The Neighbors After You Get Drunk, Pee On Their Couch, And Run Around Their House While Wearing Your Shirt As A Cape
"Frank" had a hell of a weekend. We're told he remembers none of it, but his next-door neighbors sure can. Frank somehow ended up in their apartment on Saturday, his shirt tied around his neck like a cape. It was mostly downhill from there....

Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
San Francisco at New England: With Houston and Denver both winning today, the Patriots currently sit in the third seed in the AFC. A win would put them over Denver (better conference record), just one game back of Houston for the top seed....
![Danny Amendola Spikes Football Into Poor Geezer's Face: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/188k68yzhs65tgif.gif)
Danny Amendola Spikes Football Into Poor Geezer's Face: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]
We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from Danny Amendola injuring a hapless fellow to Knowshon Moreno hurdling Ed Reed. We'll update the post as the later games conclude, so stay tuned. ...

Chris Berman Plays His Greatest Hits: Deux, Deux, Deux
Like any good showman knows, you've got to give the people what they want. And, clearly, what the people want is an homage to a bit on foreign painkillers from a lovable oaf. So this morning on Sunday NFL Countdown, Chris Berman used the Buffalo Bills "home game" in Toronto against the Seahawks to...

Mike Lupica's Pro-Gun-Control Essay On Today's <em>Sports Reporters</em> Makes Bob Costas Sound Like A Right-Winger
Mike Lupica's Daily News columns often take an unabashed liberal perspective, but the Sports Reporters panelist has generally kept his political takes off of ESPN's airwaves—by apparent directive of the WWL itself....

The Giants, Jets And Patriots Will Wear Sandy Hook Helmet Decals
The NFL teams geographically closest to Newtown, Connecticut will pay tribute to the victims of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School by wearing decals on their helmets. The Giants (pictured above) and Jets helmets will be inscribed with the initials S.H.E.S....

ESPN Bent Over Backwards Not To Say "Pistol" During The New Mexico Bowl, Then Said "Shotgun" During The Idaho Potato Bowl
On Friday, ESPN senior vice president and executive producer Mark Gross sent a memo to his staff. It read in part:...

The Texas Basketball Holiday Song Wars Continue: Here Are The Dallas Mavericks, Trying To Sing "Sleigh Ride"
Not to be outdone by their rivals in Houston, who sort of sang the Dreidel Song, the Dallas Mavericks got together to sort of sing a "Sleigh Ride" karaoke. It's pretty good, especially, Chris Kaman, who is funnier than he looks. Rick Carlisle, too, and O.J Mayo, who only makes sound effects. Now a...

"Take That Nigger Off The TV, We Wanna Watch Football!": Idiots Respond To NBC Pre-Empting <em>Sunday Night Football</em>
NBC pre-empted the first quarter of tonight’s 49ers-Patriots game to show President Obama’s speech at the Newtown memorial for victims of the Sandy Hook shooting. As you might expect, many football fans didn’t take kindly to this. (So, too, some Bob’s Burgers fans.) Here are those idiots, led by so...

Tonight's <em>Saturday Night Live</em> Cold Open: The New York Children's Chorus Singing "Silent Night"
Given yesterday's devastating events in Connecticut, it seemed impossible for NBC to put together a Saturday Night Live cold open that could be seen in any way as appropriate for the mood. In the end, they eschewed any attempt at making the audience laugh—instead going with a touching performance f...

Former ESPN Outdoors Producer: "Most Of The People I've Met From The NRA Don't Believe The Bullshit They're Selling"
For several years I worked for the now defunct ESPNOutdoors.com and on a number of ESPN Outdoors TV shows. A couple of times a year the website would cover these massive annual trade shows that affected hunting, and we'd descend on giant convention center halls in Orlando and Las Vegas that were pac...

Among About A Billion Candidates, Cleatus, The Dancing Animatronic NFL Today Robot, May Have Sent The Most Useless Tweet Yesterday
When the mascots of corporations send out painfully canned condolences—our thoughts and prayers, seriously, from this ridiculously stupid dancing robot—people always say, "Oh man, I pity the poor intern that had to write that B.S." I've got news for you: It probably wasn't an intern. It was probably...

Kevin Durant Memorialized Sandy Hook Last Night With A Message On His Sneakers
It must be hard for professional athletes to figure out to respond to national tragedies like the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary yesterday. In times of national mourning, sports can seem pretty starkly trivial, and the juxtaposition between the day's news and the night's sporting events has a way...

Jovan Belcher And Adam Lanza Were Not Militias: Shut Up About The Second Amendment
Two weeks ago, in the aftermath of the Jovan Belcher murder-suicide, Bob Costas went on national television and said some sensible things about guns, and lots of people—some of them on this very site—responded with all the predictable idiot lowing. This was bad enough, but the true measure of how fu...

Carmelo Anthony Isn't Winning By Being Unselfish. He's Winning By Being A Better Kind Of Selfish.
Before leaving last night's game against the Lakers with an ankle injury, Carmelo Anthony scored 30 points in 23 minutes. And that was after he had a relatively cold second quarter, hitting only one of his four shots....

In Wake Of School Massacre, ESPN Tells Staff To Stop Tweeting About Sports Until Sunday, Refrain From Using The Word "Shooter"
Here's the email from ESPN senior vice president and executive producer Mark Gross to staff, regarding the shootings in Newtown, Conn. Newtown is 30 miles from ESPN headquarters in Bristol. ...

When Will People Stop Telling Other People To Stick To Sports? Today Is Not That Day
As everyone is aware, at least 27 people were killed in a school shooting in Newtown, Conn. this morning. Unsurprisingly, many writers and commentators who usually operate exclusively within the world of sports have reacted to this horrifying news by discussing the details or expressing opinions ab...

Kobe Bryant Is Already Drawing A Line Between Real Lakers And Dwight Howard
After his team suffered yet another disastrous loss, this one at the hands of the New York Knicks, Kobe Bryant had some thoughts to share with Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski about how his team can bounce back from its dreadful start:...

Here's A Lady Pantomiming A Double Blowjob At The Celtics Game Last Night
The Celtics beat the Mavericks last night in double overtime, but it's safe to say that the most important thing to happen during the game took place in the third quarter, during a timeout: this unhappy-looking woman pretended to give a double blowjob for some reason....

The Deep Breath Before The Plunge. <em>The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's always important to remember that the first film of any trilogy—particularly one that has to not only introduce a bunch of new characters but take time to remind us of all the people/dwarves/elves/wizards we'd forgotten in the nine years since we last saw them—is always going to be the slowe...