ks Page 900 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....
Keeping An Eye On CBS's Eye On Sports Stories About Eye Injuries
We haven't exactly lived up to the return challenge to never post anything regarding "death" or "spin" since we pointed out Eye On Baseball's story on Luis Salazar's lost left eye a few weeks ago, but we do feel it is our new duty to keep an eye on the CBS sports blogs' eye injury stories. Today: Ma...
Was Scott Howard Actually Better Than Teen Wolf? A Statistical Investigation
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the past week, they've been applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). The series concludes wi...
40-Year-Old Sheryl Swoopes Unretires To Join Something Called "Tulsa Shock"
Sheryl Swoopes retired from the WNBA in 2008 after averaging 7 and 4 for the Seattle Storm, her worst such figures as a pro. As of 2005, Swoopes endorsed lesbian cruise line Olivia, so presumably she redeemed some vouchers to travel to Greece last year. There she played for Ravenna Esperides, alongs...
Sad Jayhawk Has "Absolutely No Regrets" About Being Sad Jayhawk
Before he was Sad Jayhawk, Matt Rissien was just another superfan: going to away games, wearing a costume, posing with luminaries like Erin Andrews and Scot Pollard. But, thanks to the vagaries of the universe and an alert cameraman, he's become more: a symbol of fallen hubris. A Crying Duke Kid or ...
VCU Has No Business In The Final Four, And We're Glad They're Here
Last week at this time, we were laughing at the Big East for being a weak conference, despite all the late winter talk about it being the best in college basketball. The evidence proffered was the number of teams left in the tournament. By that logic, the best conferences in college basketball at th...
Let's End The Day With A Video About A Cop Totally Roughing A Lady Up
What we have here looks like some folks grappling in the passenger-side doorway of a vehicle in Savannah-Chatham, Ga. on St. Patrick's Day. While a couple of roomy gals stroll though the background, crunchy guy starts delivering profanities to the ears of those inside the vehicle and three punches...
Let's Start The Day With A Story About Kindness
Your morning roundup for March 27, the day people continue to concern themselves with Dennis W. Peterson losing his front teeth at a Hooters....
Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started
Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030....
Calculating The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's Usage Rate, And What It Can Tell Us About Ball Hogs
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today we have some b...
Small Market Shit Talking? Must Be Almost Time For Baseball
Orioles manager Buck Showalter is interviewed in next month's Men's Journal, because he's a Man's Man. The entire thing's not up yet, but a couple of his more provocative comments were published last night. On the division rival Red Sox:...
Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....
Iowa Football Players Were Subjected To The Worst Workout Ever
Thirteen Iowa football players were admitted to the hospital in January with strange "undisclosed illnesses." A new report, released today to the state Board of Regents, attributes the hospitalizations to rhabdomyolysis, a rare muscle disorder resulting from an "intense, high-volume squat-lifting wo...
Syracuse Tries To Trademark "Orange;" Other Orange Schools Don't Like It
You can trademark anything these days. Pat Riley, of course, owns "three-peat." Michael Strahan has "Stomp You Out." Jared Allen registered "Got Strange?" But owning a swath of the color spectrum is mighty presumptuous. Since Syracuse dropped the "men" from "Orangemen," the school has been trying to...
It’d Take Trey Parker A Million Years To Lose, And Other Statistical Oddities Of <em>BASEketball</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: The offensivel...
TJ Duckett, Out Of Football For Two Years, Will Shave Beard For Charity
T.J. Duckett, known best to you as the guy who'd replace an easily-winded Warrick Dunn in Madden '05, told the Huffington Post, in an exclusive interview, that he will shave his beard of two years and donate the proceeds to charity....
See? Sometimes Your Life Can Get Better Once You Leave The NFL Behind
Note to those NFL players concerned about what to do if there is no 2011 season: start jotting down those lucid thoughts before the encephalopathy takes hold. It's good advice because Nate Jackson, former NFL player and writer for places of both distinction and ill repute, has just signed a book dea...
Steven Seagal And Racist Arizona Sheriff Bust Alleged Cockfighting Ring With A Tank
In a massively weird turn of events, Steven Seagal and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio rolled up on a man suspected of raising chickens for cockfighting. Seagal was in Arizona a couple weeks ago filming an episode of Lawman when Arpaio, who pals around with Neo-Nazis, offered him a ride in his ta...
Who Wants To See What The Chinese Dunk Contest Looks Like?
You know you were curious....
Ray Allen, Carmelo Anthony Go Down Bloodied; Big Baby Davis Just Pretends
In a chippy game, Ray Allen needed seven stitches after an elbow from Jared Jeffries, and Carmelo Anthony got five of his own after running into Rajon Rondo. Glen Davis? He just wanted someone to kiss his boo-boo like the better players, so he flopped after a phantom elbow....