ks Page 908 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly Takes It To The Hole
Not even joking: we enjoyed Reilly's work here. Of course, it's not writing, but rather destroying his Pop-A-Shot machine with a thunderous dunk. [ESPN.com, h/t JobuNeedsARefill]...

Last Night's Winner: Ozzie Guillen's Son Puts Bobby Jenks On Blast
After Jenks criticized Guillen's handling of his bullpen, Oney Guillen gave a measured response: accusing Jenks of alcoholism, marital problems and punching a clubhouse attendant....

Lenny Dykstra Bounced A Check To An Escort
Read the not-so-sordid story here (and in the comments here are two more women who claim he stiffed them). The real question here is: what kind of escort accepts checks?...

Andray Blatche Out-Terribles Hedo's Blown Dunk
You thought this was bad? You don't know bad. Andray Blatche knows bad....

Eagles Fans Celebrate Punt Return With Nudity
Eagles fans, folks. One promises to strip if DeSean Jackson wins the game; he's buck naked before Jackson hits the end zone. Another actually calls the return, and runs down the street topless....

What Happens On A Directional Punt, And Why Coughlin Shouldn't Have Lost His Shit
Go ahead, blame the kicker. Chase him down while the play is still live and let everyone at home know whose fault this loss is. It's yours, Matt Dodge! It's all your fault!...

Drunken Diver Kills Maneating Shark With His Butt
Some of you might question this story, in which the notorious shark that's been terrorizing and Egyptian report was inadvertently killed by a drunken Serbian man landing on it from a diving board. But it's reported by a Macedonian News Agency! [NYPost]...

10 Extremely Biblical-Looking Footballers
Of course, most of the nation will spend the weekend embroiled in sprouts, drinking heavily, and most definitely not sitting down to rewatch Mel Gibson's incredibly inaccurate and rather over-the-top remake of The Life of Brian....

IHavePrettyFrontPages
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Heat Streaks: And Now We'll End This Bizarre Day With A Half-Naked Fan Urinating (NSFW)
The Miami Heat organization was ridiculed earlier in the year for its dumb "Fan Up" campaign, which instructed the team's fans in proper behavior at American Airlines Arena. Then there's that man on the left....

Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Seahawks Fan Hit By Jet's Giant Snowball Wants Some Money
You'll recall the Jets being pelted with snowballs by the Seattle crowd, when Shaun Ellis decided to return the favor. Two years later, a fan has decided to sue....

Here's A Photo From Today's Eagles/Giants Game Coverage (Updated With Videos)
Blow 21-point lead, lose to Eagles on punt return on final play [New York Post]...

Danny Woodhead Doesn't Know Danny Woodhead Personally But Thinks "He's A Likable Guy"
Setting aside my disdain of corporate gimmicks for a moment — like, say, the sickening PR blood-orgy called "Undercover Boss" — this sporting-goods store/sneaker-company mashup that puts Patriots RB Danny Woodhead to work hawking his jersey is rather-OK fare....

Lenny Dykstra Won't Dispense Stock Tips And Autograph Balls For $35 At A Mall Today After All
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Devils’ Advocate: Toepocalypse Now
Every week, this recent Duke graduate will offer you a new reason not to hate the Duke Blue Devils, the bestest basketball team in the land. You are free to disagree....

The Best (And Only) Futsal Goal You'll See All Week
A ridiculous sport calls for a ridiculous goal. Portuguese indoor soccer player Ricardinho makes with the move I'm sure there's a name for, but I'll just call the reverse floppy dolphin kick....

Gary Neal Will Look Nice On The Bottom Half Of This Poster
J.R. Smith get both air and distance, demolishing Neal with both hands. A bit of revenge - the Spurs later drew a charge to negate the potential gamewinner, but fundamental D doesn't sell sneakers....

Vikings Fans: Enjoy Joe Webb, No Guaranteed Seating, And No Booze
How many Minnesotans are wondering if they can just cancel the season now? Monday's game at TCF Bank Stadium will be "first-come, first-serve" and there will be no alcohol sold. Also, terrible football. [Pioneer Press]...

A Former NFLer Goes Behind The Sideline Wall
Yesterday, Jets strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi was suspended indefinitely for ordering a sideline wall and tripping up Miami's Nolan Carroll. We asked ex-NFL player and occasional Deadspin contributor Nate Jackson for his thoughts....

This Photo Is A Little Less Great
It's got, well, the two O'Neals dressed in business casual and Kevin Garnett grabbing his nuts. [Boston Globe; earlier]...