ks Page 918 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arizona Lady Emigrates Illegally From Shirt
Maybe Arizona is the lawless hellhole Jan Brewer's made it out to be, after all. Between the Nazis on the borders and the streets becoming sets for an ill-advised No Country For Old Men sequel, the citizens of Arizona now have to worry about the unpatrolled border of this lady's cleavage....
Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...
Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....
Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....
Incredibly Fun Video Of A Fireworks Mishap At A Minor League Baseball Game
Everyone loves a good minor league baseball fireworks show. Unfortunately, whether you've bused in a group of epileptics or not, these things just don't go according to plan....
A.J. Burnett is a Liar. He'll Tear Your Heart Up. He'll Burn Your Soul.
Let me tell you a little bit about what A.J. Burnett did on the day Tim McCarver did the right thing by outting the Yankees organization as Nazi Communist airbrush artists....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....
Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....
Weekend Winner: LeBron The "Runaway Slave"
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Jesse Jackson's well-timed statement on LeBron James, which turned a controversy over a poor business decision into a firestorm over anything but....
Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....
LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....
TAKE IT TO THE BANK: LEBRON STILL GOING TO KNICKS AND STEPHEN A. IS MISINFORMED, SAYS...SAME GUY FROM BEFORE
"in 28 hours we will find out who's right Stephen or NYCRAY. Is the KNICKS and no other team. Hook, Line, Sinker....... DONE" [@nyc_ray, photo via DeviantART]...
БЛЯТЬ! LEBRON TO KNICKS, SAYS...CAPITALISM
"There's been twice as many contracts sold to people betting that MSG stock will rise to $22.50 by the end of the month as compared to people betting it will fall to $20 by July's end." [CNBC, painting by our own OchentaYcinco]...
CHERRY-TOP THAT BITCH: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK SAYS...YET ANOTHER GUY
"@Deadspin only NEW YORK that's it" [NYCRay, image via deviantART]...
MARK IT DOWN: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY METROPOLITAN REGION SAYS...CHAD OCHOCINCO
"*Empire State of Mind* *wink* *wink*only the smart folk will put this together and figure out what i am talking about #6" [OchoCincoNewsNetwork, image via deviantART]...
BOOK IT: LEBRON GOING TO KNICKS, SAYS...SOME GUY
From Tips: A friend at ESPN (Bristol) just texted me that Lebron is going to the Knicks. It came across the wire. Another friend at ESPN just confirmed it....This changes everything…...
ABSOLUTELY ROCK SOLID: LEBRON GOING TO KNICKS SAYS...JARED DUDLEY
"Breaking News!!! My sources tell me Lebron will announce that he will be goin to the NY KNICKS tomorrow on ESPN.. This is serious.. WOW!!!!" [JaredDudleyTwitter, photo via Esquire]...
Ballsacks And Naked Bedroom Photos: My Day At Jezebel (NSFW)
For those of you who weren't stuck in a stuffy office yesterday, I had the pleasure/challenge of editing Gawker's lady site, Jezebel, for the day. At 9:30 I posted this and tried to turn it into a servicey "men's summer fashion" post....
What Not To Do When You've Hooked A Great White
Even if it's a baby, rule number one is don't try to remove the hook with your hands. Rule number two is that a high-pitched girlish scream is simply ineffective in making it let go....