ks Page 927 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....

Last Night's Winner: Steven Jackson
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steven Jackson, who will not face charges for allegedly roughing up his pregnant girlfriend. The bad news? He's free to play for the Rams again....

Beer Is The Official Lifegiving Liquid Of Cleveland, And More Stories You Weren't Supposed To See
The Super Bowl is a black hole of news; anything non-football is quickly sucked in, never to escape into the public consciousness. Sometimes that's no accident. Here are three stories that were designed to fly under the radar....

The Curious Case Of Longhorn Girl
Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans?...

Marisa Miller Was Also Wearing A Jockstrap During The Beach Football Game
That is all. (Thanks to Gamboa Constrictor for his citizen journalism.)...

Merril Hoge: "Just A Jockstrap," Not Terrifying S&M South Beach Party Hammock
One of the more haunting images from Super Bowl XLIV's celebrity-fueled weekend was ESPN's Merril Hoge's unfortunate de-pantsing. He's claimed "not through a spokesman because that would make it sound too serious" that it was just a jockstrap....

Lindsey Vonn's Buttocks Are The First Winter Olympics Controversy
Yes. There they are. Her hunched over, haunches on display. But Tasty Bakes says that the only real problem with the Vonn SI cover photo is that it's been done before. [TheAwl]...

A Portrait Of The Editor As A Young Man
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Past And Current Jaguars Disagree On Tebow's Future
The best QB in franchise history thinks Jacksonville should draft Tim Tebow. One of the men who would be protecting him says he'll be a bust....

John Starks Wants To Help You Transition Out Of Your Pants
Starks on his new zippered-pants company: "Not just basketball, but tennis, soccer, track and field, whatever you have to do to be able to transition in and out of your pants, we want to be leaders in that space." [TrueHoop]...

Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...

Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Kentucky Back On Top...For About 36 Hours
As most of you know, Kentucky was toppled by unranked South Carolina last night, their first game as number one in the country. Some overzealous T-shirt makers look a little foolish today....

Hockey Players Have Surprisingly Average, If Hairless Bodies
As a nice middle-of-the-road counterpoint to the flab of Terrence Cody and the idealized manhood of Greg Oden, here are some Blackhawks shirtless in a limo....

Let's Not Form An Angry Mob Just Yet
Eugene police would like you to know that Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry are not considered suspects at this time. So put away the torches for now. [KMTR]...

Angry Indy Cops vs. Drunk Jets Fan: The Video
Video of the "tasered" Jets fan has finally surfaced, and I don't want to spoil it for you, but it looks like at least one Indianapolis police officer is living life on a very thin edge....

Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...

Oregon "Hoodrats" Accused Of Stealing From Frat Members
There's trouble a-brewin' in Eugene as two Oregon football players have been accused of stealing computers from a fraternity. It's a classic campus sports crime story with a neat little dash of racial strife....
