ks Page 935 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Trouble In Lawrence, Morningstar Suspended
Already on high alert after last week's fight between the football and basketball teams, Kansas coach Bill Self waisted little time suspending Brady Morningstar after the starting guard's DWI arrest. [ESPN, Image]...
Important College Football Picks
College football! Do you root for the school you attended? Or are you just some asshole who likes to root for some team you have nothing to do with? I don't follow it because I hate indentured servitude and polls....
Why Did New Mexico's Coach Punch His Assistant? Whatever
New Mexico coach Mike Locksley is maybe going to be out of a job soon since he probably slugged his own assistant coach in the face. And all because the other guy had to go and get catty....
Angry Interplanetary Ice Bear Will Destroy Anchorage, Bring Back Hockey
Seriously, this bear is fucking pissed. Wouldn't you be if you were the mascot for an obscure college hockey team in Fairbanks and then got banished to the stars? I would certainly want to smash some shit up, starting with that small moon over there. Do not fuck with the Nanook Space Bear....
Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....
Ric Flair's Limo, Fancy Suits Were Key To Gamecocks Upset
The Nature Boy is apparently a fan of South Carolina football and was not afraid to intimidate Ole Miss fans last week with his very expensive suits. Final score: 16-10, Gamecocks. WHOO! [SpursUp]...
Pedro Guerrero Beats The Spread
We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
Dirk Nowitzki's Boys Are Now Swimming At A Doggy-Paddle Pace
Dirk vows choose a better receptacle in the future: "My sperm is getting slower,'' he said, grinning. "(So) eventually, I've got to trust somebody.''[DallasBasketball]...
Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....
The Ron Zook Coaching Tree Bears Intense Fruit
First-year New Mexico coach Mike Locksley learned at the knee of famous intensity-pisser Ron Zook, and it seems he learned well. Locksley now stands accused of punching his wide receivers coach in the face....
The Poise Is Back In Town
Another week, another victory for Mark Sanchez, another opportunity for New York Times Jets writer Greg Bishop to limn the quarterback's lukewarm heroics with his favorite word. You know the one....
You're Not Dispelling Any Stereotypes Here, CFL
Think that Browns rookie was pissed? After a practice spat, a CFL lineman stormed off the field, then returned waving a shovel. What a uniquely Canadian way to settle an argument. [AP]...
Rookie's First Big League Memory Held For Ransom
You've heard stories about ballhawks, those unwieldy characters who scoop up milestone home run balls only to hold them for ransom from the players who hit them. This is one of those tales....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Turner Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Atlanta Braves' Turner Field. Photo by Charlie Morn....
Mark Schlereth Is Awful And Needs To Be Liquidated
There are baffling success stories in this world. There always have been. But one of the most puzzling ones is how Mark goddamn Schlereth has somehow become the most omnipresent football analyst on ESPN....
Never One To Seek The Spotlight, Danica Turns Down NASCAR
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
People Can't Stop Remarking On Mark Sanchez's Poise
A headline, in our newspaper of record: "Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has already shown the poise of a more experienced player." And the story refers to Sanchez's "poise, pocket presence and decision making." That's two more for our collection. [NYT]...
Nails Is No Match For The Japanese Carl Monday
Yep, that's Lenny Dykstra, caught on Japanese television in a Los Angeles pawn shop. Deadspin translation services are on the case, after the jump....