ks Page 942 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lenny Kyle Dykstra Slides Headfirst Into Rock Bottom
The legend of Financial Wizard Lenny Kyle Dykstra, last seen "flying higher", has finally shriveled up and died: The Dude officially filed for bankruptcy today. I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell out of your chair....

Young Cubs Fan Mocks Ryan Dempster's Pain
This young fan in blue has thoroughly enjoyed Ryan Dempster's comical fall over a dugout railing, not realizing that the pitcher has just fractured his big toe and will spend a month on the DL. Go Cubbies!...

Ballhawks Ruining It For The Rest Of Us
You see them at every baseball game. The obsessive geeks who stake out batting practice and clamor over beautiful girls just to get random fly balls from third-string catchers. But now they're refining their tactics and upping their demands....

Somehow, Michael Jackson Was Partly Responsible For Magic Johnson's Greatness
I applaud Magic Johnson's ability to personalize it: "the way he controlled the band...the stage." But I'm sure he'd use the same approach if he were eulogizing a painter or a vacuum cleaner repairman. [Gawker]...

Bringing SexyBack To Golf
Justin Timberlake — former frontman for *NSYNC, international pop superstar, 6-handicap on the links — is shopping his first book. It's about golf, and it's reportedly a memoir about the 28-year-old's memorable rounds. Well, no one's done that before. [NYO]...

Oh, Jason, You've Really Gone And Done It Now...
Jason Whitlock wrote a face-slapper of a column about Serena Williams where he says things like this: "I am not fundamentally opposed to junk in the trunk, although my preference is a stuffed onion over an oozing pumpkin." Jezebels...ATTACK!...

Off The Wall, Indeed: Ron Artest Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson
"Michael, Michael, Michael, you my nigga. I know a thug would cry for you, my dude. Aint no R&B singer really ever makes me cry. Makes me wanna meet you, touch your hand. Ya know?" [YouTube]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum....

I Got Sol But I'm Not A Soldier
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Chicago Blackhawks To Lose The Next 12 Stanley Cup Finals
Marian Hossa (who is 30) just signed a 12-year contract with the Chicago Blackhawks, after allegedly turning down a 10-year deal from the Red Wings. This guy really knows how not to pick 'em. [NHL.com]...

Henry Family Reminds Everyone Who's The Boss
Carl Henry was not happy about that article that seemed to suggest he was a arrogant basketball father on a power trip, so he responded in the only way that made sense—by pulling an arrogant power trip....

Coach K Defies The Reckless Rumormongering
Despite the claims of a Racine Journal Times reporter's well-placed source, Mike Krzyzewski said he won't be Phil Jackson's "heir apparent." But if Kobe wants to come be Duke's third scholarship guard — well, that might be acceptable. [ACC Now]...

Henry Boys Not Making A Lot Of Friends At Kansas
This story about hoop brothers Xavier and C.J. Henry—and their mastermind father, Carl—is pretty much everything you need to understand about the modern world of college basketball. Try not to let that fact stop you from reading it....

Which Sports Death Would Affect Us Like MJ's?
I was as surprised by the reaction to Michael Jackson's death as I was the death itself, though I shouldn't have been. Is there anyone in sports whose death we'd react to in a similar way?...

Brandon Jennings Continues To Offend, Well, Everyone
Any day now, the NBA will teach Brandon Jennings to be studiedly bland and tactful. Until then, let's enjoy the glorious insolence of a 19-year-old rookie who says what we've all thought at one time or another: "Fuck the Knicks."...

Sad About Michael Jackson's Death? Tack An Andre Rison Jersey To His Childhood Home
Yesterday, professional athletes and their Twitter universes reacted to Michael Jackson's death (some more than others), but this makeshift tribute at his childhood home in Gary, Indiana gives the tenuous sports-King Of Pop connection an absurd little twist....