ks Page 941 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....

And On Next Week's Episode, Buddhist Monks Become Shaqtastic
Oh, hi there, star of ABC's forthcoming reality show, "Shaq Vs." It will pit Shaq vs. Phelps in swimming, Shaq vs. Roethlisberger in football, maybe Shaq vs. Lance in cycling, and hopefully, Shaq vs. Ashton in Twittering. [USA Today]...

Lenny Dykstra Has Open And Honest Communication With His Wife
This is what Dykstra's wife says he toldsent her via text message over voicemail: "From now on everything is going to be bad, the war is ready to begin and I play ... dirty!" [Ventura County Star]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Busch Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The St. Louis Cardinals' Busch Stadium....

In Which We Attempt To Translate British Journalism
If the English language isn't yet universal, then the verse of sports should be. I've never understood, then, why it is that I can't comprehend a word of 19th-century British newspapers....

Maybe This Is Why They Called Him "The Lip"
We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....

Jim Cramer Was Wrong About Lenny Dykstra, Everything Else
Jon Stewart would like to remind everyone that financial "expert" Jim Cramer endorsed Lenny Dykstra as "one of the great ones in this business." And the business he was referring to was not "collecting tobacco juice."...

Blackhawks GM Fired For Not Following Example Set By Cubs
Dale Tallon took over a terrible post-lockout Blackhawks franchise, combined shrewd drafting and solid free agent picks to build a young, exciting contender and was rewarded for his efforts with a swift kick in the pants. That's the Chicago way....

Creativity In Full Bloom On The Kentucky Minor League Circuit
The Lexington Legends have a passionate hometown fan base that loves to let opposing players know they're appreciated for all their hard work and effort. Especially on dollar beer night. [Horace Grant Halftime Report/Intentional Foul]...

Tony Romo And Jessica Simpson Reportedly Split For 98th Time
Until I see visual evidence of the Cowboys quarterback slurping blue cake out of another woman's mouth, I refuse to believe it. But People says they're officially kaput and Romo's getting his Goose on at nightclubs. [People.com]...

Robert Lunn Leaves Austria With His Dignity (Mostly) Intact
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UConn. He graduated in 2008 and was playing professional football in Pörtschach, Austria. Sadly, he's back in the U.S. now, so this is his final column....

His Name Is Also What the Police Did
Kansas Jayhawks basketball player Chase Buford — son of San Antonio Spurs general manager R.C. Buford — was arrested on suspicion of driving while hammered. [KMBC]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oriole Park At Camden Yards
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oriole Park at Camden Yards....

Lenny Dykstra Gets Played Off
I'm generally unmoved by popular internet memes but, dammit, I just can't help myself when it comes to Keyboard Cat. Luckily, Gawker video samurai Mike Byhoff shares my love of The Cat and put this together for us....

Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....

Lenny Dykstra Would Still Like You To Trust Him With Your Money
Remarkably, Lenny Kyle Dykstra won't quit just because he filed for bankruptcy. No, teammates, it's just a bump in the road. He's still got the golden touch, so jump in while the water's freezing, etc....

Not Just Another Drunken Rugby Pooping Incident
Australian Rugby has been laid low by scandal after a horrific "atrocity" committed by one its players. Specifically, 25-year-old Nate Myles, who—drunk, naked and locked out of his room—took a giant dump in a hotel hallway. The horror....

Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....

Anna Kournikova: Still Not A Jew
When Anna Kournikova came to Washington rocking a diamond as big as the Ritz, a freelance photographer congratulated her with a "Mazel Tov!" Kournikova's response: "I am not Jewish. Can't you see my cross?" Oy vey. [Washington Times]...