ks Page 954 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who is The Fiend Who Stole JoePa's Glasses?
APB, State College, Pa., Police Department: All units be on the lookout for anyone wearing pair of thick, bronze glasses. Suspect may also be wearing a USC sweatshirt....

Horrible Celtics Lose Again
Paul Pierce crab dribbled his way out of bounds in overtime and Charlotte handed the putrid Boston Celtics their fifth loss in seven games. Why did anyone ever think this team was good?...

Sadly, No One Told Vincent Jackson That Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving
If nothing else, Vincent Jackson's timing is impeccable: The Chargers wide receiver was arrested for DUI early this morning. Norv is thrilled, I'm sure....

And It Only Took Them 307 Years
Hey Bulldog: Former Jacksonville Jaguars assistant Tom Williams is hired at Yale, becoming the school's first black head football coach. [Hartford Courant]...

The Boston Celtics Dynasty Has Collapsed
Everybody panic! The once dominant Celtic steam engine has gone completely off the rails and it's unclear if they'll be able to save their season after losing to... oh my... the New York Knicks?...

Your New Year’s Day Bowlkakke
Wake up, shitheads! Time for you to get up, swallow 15 Advil, put your pants back on, and stagger home like the dirty, filthy people you are. Here are the bowl games you’ll need to nurse that hangover…...

Something Goes Right In Dallas For A Change
A 70-41 third-quarter lead is pretty much safe, right? It should go without saying that if you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, the answer is no. [NBCSports]...

Let Me Tell You Something About Birmingham, Alabama
Apparently, some readers took issue with my recent characterization of Birmingham, Alabama, as a decrepit backwater devoid of all culture and sophistication. Wait, did I not say that? Because I should have....

The Worst Bowl Game In The World
As you're reading this, North Carolina State and Rutgers are playing at what has to be the absolute lowest level of collegiate football— a website-sponsored bowl game in Birmingham, Alabama, on a Monday afternoon....

It's Hard to Ride Off Into the Sunset on the West Coast
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Chicago Blackhawks Teach Us The True Meaning Of Hamburgers (A Radio Play)
The greatest holiday story of this or any other season, is of course, the magic tale of the Chicago Blackhawks Thanksgiving Wilderness McDonald's Funeral Procession....

Roger Goodell Fiercely Guards His Snow Domain
First was the Wes Welker snow angel incident and now this; Jets' Shaun Ellis fined $10,000 for throwing snowballs. [NBCSports]...

The Year In ... Restroom Hijinks
So, the next nine days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: Restroom hijinks....

Seahawks Fans Confused By Cold, Flaky Discharge From Sky
Hmm, I have a feeling that his beer isn't the only thing that's frosty cold. Welcome to Seattle's Qwest Field on Sunday, where the snow even caught the SeaGals cheerleaders unprepared. [Busted Coverage]...

Queer Eye For The Snow Guy
This is clearly the best snowman ever built, anywhere; it looks exactly like its subject. I just pray that the guy in the Lofa Tatupu jersey isn't preparing to affix a second carrot....

LeBron: Don't Start Printing Those #23 Knicks Jerseys Just Yet
Not sure if you've heard, but the summer of 2010 is a rather important one in the NBA....

It's Never Too Early For Bowling
Holy crap, the bowl games are starting already. In fact Wake Forest and Navy are underway at RFK Stadium in the famed EagleBank Bowl. This soon-to-be classic will be followed up by another three epic showdowns as the day goes on....

So Much For The Unstoppable Sharks Juggernaut
The bandwagon must have had trouble supporting all that weight, because the wheels certainly came off last night for San Jose....

Manning Heroically Leads Colts Over Sucky Team, Into Playoffs
With their big 31-24 victory over the Jaguars last night, the Colts are back in the playoffs with their sixth consecutive 11-win season, meaning that this kid can invite friends into his room again....
