ks Page 970 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Work For The Knicks, In The Worst Capacity Imaginable
You know what would be a great job? Being the guy who has to clean up all of Isiah Thomas' messes, and then try to explain them away to a growling, surly New York media. That's exactly what we told our mom we wanted to be when we grew up....

Dana Jacobson Has The Sole Appropriate Reaction To The Mike And Mike Roast
Last Friday night, they held that "Mike And Mike Celebrity Roast" thing in Atlantic City. It was about as entertaining as you'd expected it to be, according to the Press Of Atlantic City. (No offense to Trey Wingo, but when you host half the show, and the other half is hosted by Jeffrey Ross, you're...

The Sharks' Biggest Chum-Guzzlers
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....

Shiny Happy Isiah Laughing
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or filing important documents, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Darren McFadden's Parents Aren't Saying Nothin' About Nothin'
"Yes he is." "No he isn't." "Is too." "Is not." "Shut up." "You shut up." "No, you shut up first." "No, your mom's ugly." There, now you're officially caught up to speed on the ongoing struggle between Darren McFadden's parents and media reports alleging their son is turning pro after his junior yea...

Jaguars-Patriots, Second Half Live Blog
I'll give Boston the benefit of the doubt and assume that most New Englanders know how to spell "asterisk" correctly. But when Stephen Savoia took this picture for the Associated Press, he made it a point to ensure that Johnny West, the man holding the sign, was called out for the misspelling, and t...

Jaguars-Patriots, First Half Live Blog
The team nobody wants to play is playing the other team nobody wants to play. I forget which is which. While the first half of the Green Bay-Seattle game was phenomenal, the remainder pretty much bit the jawbreaker. Let's see if the Patriots and Jaguars can provide a full 60 minutes of entertainment...

Seahawks-Packers, Second Half Live Blog
It appears that Winkles the Sockpuppet has found his way to Wisconsin, somehow, someway, to inspire Green Bay's comeback despite a 14-point deficit way early on. Seahawks fans — everyone, actually — would be wise to follow along for the second half of this incredibly fun game and see if Seattle has ...

Seahawks-Packers, First Half Live Blog
Vince Lombardi's grandson, also named Vince Lombardi, is Seattle-area lawyer, and despite his granddaddy's legacy he's rooting against the Packers. Jim Zorn's children had no idea this was permitted and feel rather shortchanged. (Found through SPORTSbyBROOKS.) Here's a big, hearty cheddar cheese soy...

Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...

51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...

NFL Divisional Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jaguars
It's always nice to see the NFL adopting baseball's strategy of scheduling the most exciting postseason games really late at night. Though we might just be getting old....

NFL Divisional Pants Party: Packers Vs. Seahawks
OK, everyone, it's the best football weekend of the year. Seriously: Four awesome games, all weekend. What more could someone want?...

Darren McFadden's Piano Bar Brawl
It has to be kind of boring for a college football phenom, when the bowl games are over, your college career is done and you have nothing to do until the Draft workouts begin. It has to make a man antsy. So we sympathize with Darren McFadden, who got himself arrested early this morning....

The 'Fire Isiah' Movement, Now In Rap
Merciless boos in his home arena, eight-foot pink slips calling for his job, sexual harassment claims; Isiah Thomas has heard, seen and squeezed it all. And yet still he stands tall; an unwavering pillar of grinning cocksureness. Until now....

The AFC Consolation Bracket
See, now this photo is just being mean. As if life after you've dropped a potential game-winning touchdown pass isn't hard enough; then you gotta have an opponent making fun of you about it. Tsk tsk....

Eli Manning Could Get Into This Football Thing
Look at that Eli Manning. Look at him! He's all fired up! He loves this game of football! It's so cute; Eli is PUMPED!...

Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville
Well that last game pretty much ripped my heart right out, but I don't think this one is capable of such damage. Regardless, there's money on the table and I'm already down, so my interest stoked. The Jaguars crossed Clemente Bridge for the second time in three weeks with enough confidence to take t...

Seattle vs. Washington: Second Half
image via Getty I hope you enjoyed that first half, because I sure as shit didn't. The Redskins punted the ball at a breakneck pace and once Seattle got on the board their offense began to slow down. Then at the very end of the half master timekeeper Mike Holmgren decided he didn't want to leave any...
