lds Page 134 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Guide To Giving A Shit About The Red Sox-Cardinals World Series
Though it will feature the two best teams in baseball, this year's World Series will be painful for non-fans of the Red Sox or Cardinals. It's the least appealing matchup out of this postseason's 10 teams. It'll achieve better ratings than Giants-Rangers, sure, but why should any casual viewer feel...

Help The Aged. <em>Escape Plan</em>, Reviewed.
It's touching to watch Sylvester Stallone try to act. In his early days with Rocky, the guy had charm, an ability to reveal a light touch beneath his average-palooka demeanor. But in recent years, he's become as rigid as his face: a giant mass of muscles and mumbled words. His soft side all but abse...

Here's A New Stat To Figure Out The Best Scorers In The NBA
Field goal percentage is misleading. We know that, because if it wasn't, Tyson Chandler wouldn't threaten to break 70 percent every year, and Reggie Evans would produce a literal black hole in each of his box scores, which would consume their immediate surroundings and we'd have no idea what happene...

Koji Uehara And David Ortiz Dry Hump After Beating The Rays
Does this count as dry humping or wet humping, factoring in the champagne? Either way, David Ortiz was clearly elated after the Red Sox beat the Rays in four games in the ALDS, and Koji Uehara looks happy too. Everybody's having a good time! [@CJZero]...

Report: Braves Players Boycotted Chipper Jones's First Pitch
Christ, could the Atlanta Braves get any more annoying? Baseball's fun police reportedly added another name to their "People Who Don't Respect The Game And/Or The Atlanta Braves And All That They Stand For" list, and that name happens to belong to Braves legend Chipper Jones....

A's, Tigers Trade "Fuck You"s Then Shoves As Fight Breaks Out In Ninth
Grant Balfour's no stranger to brawls in the ALDS sparked by profanity, and he was at the center of one again today in the ninth as he attempted to close out a win for the A's against the Tigers. Alas, Victor Martinez was going to make sure today's bottom of the ninth would be punctuated with pugil...

Did Wil Myers Blow This Play, Or Was He The Victim Of Gamesmanship?
Here's Rays outfielder Wil Myers, in the fourth inning of today's playoff game against the Red Sox, doing God knows what....

The Braves Are Leaving Their Highest-Paid Player Off The Playoff Roster
Braves second baseman Dan Uggla made $13 million this season, more money than any of his teammates did. That seems like a pretty OK deal for a second baseman that can hit 22 home runs in 448 at-bats. Except that Dan Uggla also sucks, and now he sucks bad enough to be left off the Braves' roster for ...

NBC Sports Network Cancels NRA-Sponsored Elephant Hunting Show
NBC Sports Network is dumping the show that featured a guy shooting an elephant in the face. The show—hosted by NRA lobbyist Tony Makris—isn't being canceled for that episode with the elephant shooting, exactly (though that didn't help). Instead it's because Makris compared his critics to Hitler ea...

NBC Sports Host Who Shoots Elephants Compares Critics To Hitler
Of course he does. Tony Makris, the gun-humping NRA lobbyist whom we last saw on the NBC Sports Network shooting an elephant in the face, has recently been dealing with some people who are critical of his decision to shoot an elephant in the face. To Makris, those people are just like Hitler....

John Lardner Evaluates Ted Williams
From a John Lardner column for Newsweek, “The World’s Richest Problem Child”:...

Here's A Dude Shooting An Elephant In The Face On NBC Sports Network
What is this shit? For some reason, NBC Sports Network has been airing an NRA-sponsored hunting show called Under Wild Skies, on which gun-humping NRA lobbyist Tony Makris shoots elephants in the face....

The Gamer According To Tom Boswell
"Baseball has a name for the player who, in the eyes of his peers, is well attuned to the demands of his discipline; he is called 'a gamer.' The gamer does not drool, or pant, before the cry of 'Play ball.' Quite the opposite. He is the player, like George Brett or Pete Rose, who is neither too inte...

Breaking The Wall With Burt
Never shy about his take on a subject, here's Pat Jordan's stinging profile on Burt Reynolds from the 1980s:...

Wil Myers And James Shields Are The Wild Card Race's Best Show
It's fitting that Wil Myers and James Shields, the two principals involved in the Royals-Rays preseason trade that launched a thousand articles and blog posts about which team had just committed an unforgivable blunder/stolen a great player, are refusing to give us an easy answer to that debate. Wit...

Playing The Game As If It Were A Form Of Punishment For Everyone Else On The Field
Before Game 7 of the 1971 World Series, Roberto Clemente told Roger Angell, “I want everybody in the world to know that this is the way I play all the time. All season, every season. I gave everything I had to this game.”...

Your Handling-Lots-Of-McDonald's-Food-At-Once Problems Are Solved
Hey guys, remember back when you'd go to the drive-thru at McDonald's, and you had to, like, read the menu and, like, pick some stuff to eat, and then friggin' tell the guy what you wanted, and then you drove up to the window and opened your mouth and they fired all the food at your face with a gian...

Josh Donaldson Disappears Behind Tarp To Make Diving Catch
The Rangers' David Murphy wedged this foul pop down the third-base line between the tarp and the padded sidewall. Or right to where the A's Josh Donaldson could get to it....

