league Page 266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Course Arsenal Want To Give Glass-Boned Jack Wilshere A New Contract
Last weekend, Jack Wilshere did what Jack Wilshere always does: get injured. This time (like last time) it’s a fibula fracture, and it has ended his season. In response, Arsenal are reportedly set to do what Arsenal always do: give yet another inflated contract to a guy who can’t stay healthy....
Referee Blunders Spur On Real Madrid's Murdalization Of Bayern Munich
Real Madrid scored three goals in about 10 rampaging minutes of extra time against 10-man Bayern Munich in the Champions League quarterfinals to win 4-2, and advance to the semifinals, 6-3 on aggregate. And while Bayern blew it and Real made the plays they needed to win it, it’s hard not to come awa...
English Soccer Fans Learn Their Club Will Be Promoted To Premier League, Lose Their Minds<em></em>
Twenty years ago, English soccer club Brighton and Hove Albion were languishing in the fourth and lowest tier of the English Football League pyramid, at risk of losing their place in the league altogether. On Monday, they sealed their spot in the Premier League, and next season they’ll play in the t...
German Investigators: "Significant Doubt" That Radical Islamists Responsible For Borussia Dortmund Bombing
Investigators in Germany are saying that this week’s bombing of a Borussia Dortmund team bus was likely not the work of radical Islamists, and letters found at the scene hinting at such motivation were likely “an attempt to trick people into thinking there was an Islamist motive,” per the BBC....
Batsman Destroys Tactical Laptop
Kolkata Knight Riders beat Sunrisers Hyderabad today in the IPL by 17 runs, and the losers might be able to blame a destroyed laptop for their offensive failures....
Sergio Ramos Orchestrates Nearly Perfect Set Piece With Just A Few Nods Of His Head<em></em>
We’ve previously extolled the virtues of Real Madrid’s header-scoring genius, Sergio Ramos, and our appreciation for this set piece savant has only grown after seeing the following video. Watching Ramos’s mind work in realtime—as he interprets the situation, visualizes the best outcome, then effectu...
Europa League Match Delayed After Lyon Fans Run Onto Pitch To Escape Fireworks
Lyon beat Besiktas by a goal tonight in the home leg of their Europa League series, but the game was delayed about 45 minutes after Lyon fans ran onto the pitch just before the scheduled kickoff time. According to the club, Besiktas fans tossed “projectiles and fireworks” into the bleachers from up ...
Semi-Pro Soccer Club Owner's Insane Pregame Speech Features R. Kelly Singalong, Threats Of Violence
We’ve all been there. Stuck in a room with coworkers or classmates, coerced into participating in some cheesy team-building exercise by a frothily manic leader seemingly halfway through an eight ball, trying to preserve some shred of dignity while feigning just enough engagement not to get yelled ou...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Old And Slow And Still The Best
Because of the enduring nature of athletic greatness, it’s often difficult to notice in real time the inevitable fall as the best players slip from amazing to very good to eventually old and bad. The greatest players are great for so long, then begin to peter off so subtlety before the inexorable ef...
Dortmund's Nuri Şahin<em></em> Gives Emotional Interview Day After Team Bus Attacked
Borussia Dortmund midfielder Nuri Şahin played in his team’s Champions League match against Monaco today. The game had been postponed from its originally scheduled date of yesterday after the Dortmund team bus was attacked with some sort of explosive devices. In the interview above, given immediatel...
Bring On The Barcelona Meltdown
Not even two whole months after the last time the sky over Catalonia was falling, Barcelona find themselves spiraling downward into a state of anxiety and dread. And while that time the Atlases in Barça’s squad were able to hold the sky up in the most improbable of circumstances, this time it might ...
Dortmund Fans Gladly Host Traveling Monaco Fans After Champions League Game Delayed By Explosions
Dortmund’s Champions League quarterfinal match against Monaco this afternoon was canceled after their team bus was hit by three explosions on its way to the stadium. According to the latest out of Dortmund, Marc Bartra had to undergo surgery for a broken wrist and officials are working to verify the...
Barcelona Are In Trouble Yet Again After Getting Destroyed By Paulo Dybala And Juventus<em></em>
Led by Paulo Dybala’s brilliant first-half brace, Juventus crushed Barcelona 3-0 in the first leg of the Champions League quarterfinal in Turin. Fresh off a wild comeback against Paris Saint Germain, the Catalan side will now have to clamber out of yet another steep goal deficit if they want to move...
Will Falling Out Of The Top Four Be Enough To Bring Change To Arsenal?<em></em>
Now seems like as good a time as any to call it, even if it’s not out of the realm of possibility just quite yet: For the first time in 21 years, and the first time in Arsène Wenger’s incredibly long and storied career in England, Arsenal will not finish in the top four....
Crystal Palace Fans Serenade Lame Duck Arsenal Boss, Beg Him To Stay With His Team<em></em>
Seven points behind fourth place (albeit with two games in hand), Arsenal really needed to win away at Crystal Palace today. Instead Andros Townsend scored a squibber, Yohan Cabaye knocked in a banger, and third-choice goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez pulled down Townsend in the box, leading to a Luka M...
Everton Star Ross Barkley Got Punched Out At Liverpool Bar In "Unprovoked Attack"
Everton’s Ross Barkley was attacked at a bar last night in a scrap the midfielder’s lawyer claims was “unprovoked.” In the above video of the incident, you can see Barkley calmly talking with another man before the man starts swinging on Barkley seemingly out of nowhere....
Marc Albrighton Free Kick Stunner Caps Wild Opening Ten Minutes Of Everton-Leicester City
Four goals have been scored in the first 24 minutes of today’s Everton-Leicester City match, but none more impressive than Marc Albrighton’s free kick that beat Joel Robles in the tenth minute. That’s after a streaking Kevin Mirallas set up Tom Davies in the opening minute to give Everton a short-li...
Chelsea Training Features Sack-Tapping, Shit-Wrecking Hijinks
David Luiz and Diego Costa are, by all physical appearances, large adult men. Judging them by their behavior, though, you’d think they were mentally somewhere between the ages of 4 and 13. For evidence of this, here is Luiz whacking teammate John Terry in the nuts for fun:...
Tim Tebow Kills Baseball In First At-Bat; Ball Passes Over Outfielders' Heads For Home Run<em></em><em></em>
Tim Tebow, author and former college football quarterback, kicked off his time with the class-A Columbia Fireflies this evening with a bang. The motivational speaker stepped up to the plate against the Augusta Greenjackets and socked a dinger in his very first at-bat....