light Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mallex Smith Circled The Bases In The Coolest Of Ways
You can keep your filthy “dingers,” your “dongs,” your “mashed taters,” you damn dirty apes! Corkscrew yourselves into hell for all I care! Give me a ruthless speedster thieving his way around the bases, as the Mariners’ Mallex Smith did to the pathetic Rangers in the bottom of the eighth inning las...
Daniel Vogelbach Hit A Homer So Meaty It Could Feed A Family Of Four
Look at the faces. No, not at the mugs of the guy at the plate or the guy on the mound, although you’ll find expressions of optimism and helplessness, respectively. Look into the stands, and gaze at all the “O”s on those fans’ faces, their expressions turning them into some kind of poorly organized ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked
While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...
Mike Yastrzemski Disappoints Wife While Trying To Get To Second Base
Yet another relative of a Hall of Famer was promoted to the majors this past weekend. Mike Yastrzemski, grandson of Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, got the call up to join the dysfunctional Giants on Saturday, where he made his debut against the Diamondbacks. Yastrzemski finally got the first hit of...
Orioles' Keon Broxton Lost Track Of A Wall And Allowed A Pitcher To Hit A Two-Run RBI Triple
Baltimore’s trip to Coors Field has been a relative success by the realistic standards the team has likely set for themselves—Baltimore not only took one of the three games in the series, but also allowed fewer than 50 home runs during that span—so it was only a matter of time until the Orioles regr...
Cavan Biggio Proves There's Enough Room In Toronto For Two Dinger-Mashing Sons Of Cooperstown Greats
The Toronto Blue Jays made history on Friday when they called up Cavan Biggio to the Majors. If Cavan’s last name sounds familiar to you, it’s because Cavan is the son of Astros legend Craig Biggio. As a result of that connection, the Blue Jays became the first team in Major League history to have t...
White Sox Turn Ho-Hum, Unsatisfying Triple Play
You’d think anything as rare and unlikely as a triple play would include plenty of thrills and chills, possibly one or two spills, even the odd Phil. Back in August the Rangers turned a triple play that could be described as “pretty cool.” Last April the Mariners turned one on a brain goof that a pe...
Mashing Titan Josh Bell Sends Another Worthless Baseball Screaming Into Hell
Friends and dinger lovers, rejoice! The mighty works of Josh Bell continue unabated into the summer. In the second inning of Wednesday night’s Rockies-Pirates game, foolish mortal Jon Gray left a puny 87-mile-per-hour changeup up in the zone, and Bell promptly sent it to the Cenobites for an eternit...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Cow's Long-Range Turd Hitting Its Mark
This dairy farmer knew that the cow needed to crap. You can see his hesitation as he stopped working and stood back so it could let loose. But Bessie saved him a little extra in the chamber....
It's Impossible To Oversell How Dumb This Adam Eaton–Todd Frazier Beef Has Gotten
The 2016 White Sox were historically blighted. That was the team where Chris Sale was suspended for insubordination after literally cutting up throwback uniforms during batting practice before a start so he wouldn’t have to wear one. That was the team that nearly underwent a mutiny and then a counte...
High School Soccer Player Scores Wondergoal With His Butt
Aside from the arms, every part of the human body is fair game when it comes to scoring goals in soccer. We’ve seen Clint Dempsey score with his dick, and Chicharito score off his face. But it takes a true visionary to turn away from the action, thrust out your hips, and do it with the butt....
Bryce Harper Can Still Throw The Dick Off A Damn Baseball
Bryce Harper’s hitting still mostly hasn’t come around. He’s socked a couple impressive dingers recently, but he’s still batting just .229 on the season after putting up another 0-fer Monday night against the Cubs. Ultimately it’ll be his plate production that determines whether the Phillies are get...
![What The Hell Has Gotten Into Meyers Leonard?! [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uoyjtlrxepwtwdkwwv3u.jpg)
What The Hell Has Gotten Into Meyers Leonard?! [Update]
Meyers Leonard started Game 4 against the Golden State Warriors Monday night. He started Game 3, too, and had a very solid game, box stats-wise, going for 16 points, three rebounds, and four assists in 31 minutes. The Blazers were roundly outscored during his minutes, but plenty goes into that, and ...
Tireless Steph Curry Helpfully Illustrates Seth Curry's Point
Seth Curry was careful to say the Warriors are “definitely not a better team” without Kevin Durant in their lineup—which, duh—but it is the younger Curry’s opinion that the Warriors do move the ball and themselves more, and more quickly, when they don’t have Durant around. Durant makes the Warriors ...
This Is The Vlad Jr. We've Been Waiting To See
Powerful baseball prince Vladimir Guerrero Jr. didn’t enjoy the best start to his major-league career, but over the last few games he’s begun to show what he’s capable of. First and foremost among those capabilities is hitting the ball really damn hard....
Florida State Becomes First Softball Team In NCAA Tournament History To Hit Four Consecutive Dingers
For the first time in NCAA tournament history, a softball team hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers in a single game. Florida State smashed four dingers in a row in the Seminoles’ eventual 12-1 win over South Florida on Saturday. The game was over after five innings....
Bryce Harper Mashed A Tater Over The Damn Batter's Eye
Bryce Harper’s been having a rough go of it lately. He’s been a semi-regular subject of the Philadelphia faithful’s boo birds, and is hitting a less-than-impressive .222/.363/.430 slash line. He’s also striking out a shit ton. Yet, there’s still a reason why Philadelphia decided to give him a $330 ...
Ryan Pressly Seals MLB Record For Scoreless Appearances With Athletic Diving Throw
Over his last 39 consecutive appearances on the mound, Houston reliever Ryan Pressly’s ERA has been an utterly absurd 0.00. It’s a streak that started back in Aug. 15, 2018 against the Rockies (eat shit, Ley), and officially reached MLB-record heights on Friday against the Boston Red Sox. The scorel...
Padres' Ian Kinsler Appears To Celebrate Dinger By Yelling "Fuck All You" At The Home Crowd
Ian Kinsler hit a three-run dinger in the sixth inning Thursday night to put his Padres up a run, 4–3, over the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates. That’s good, dingers are cool, who among us doesn’t get pumped and jacked by a mighty dinger? Do you want to get pumped and jacked? Feast your eyes on this suc...
What The Fuck Are The Orioles Even Trying To Do Here?
The Orioles are putting MLB on notice with a new standard of uselessness never before seen at this level of the sport. The latest example came on Thursday against Cleveland when they put together one of the worst plays in baseball history. Everything about it was wrong in a way I’ve never seen base...