light Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vile Cardinals Thwarted By Lorenzo Cain's Game-Ending Dong-Robbery
Opening Day, baby! Many good teams—the Yankees, the Dodgers, the Phillies, the Astros, the A’s—looked impressive; certain lousy teams—looking straight at you, Orioles—looked inept in a way that is possible to find charming in the very first game of the year. But wherever your team fell in all of thi...

Recently Owned Jeff Green Pays It Forward To Harmless, Helpless Dragan Bender
Tuesday night Jeff Green was on the very wrong end of a highlight when he stumbled brutally in isolation defense while guarding Lance Stephenson in a Wizards loss to the Lakers. Green may have been unfairly victimized by Stephenson accidentally stepping on his toes mid-sequence, but that will not m...

How Is Nikola Jokic Like This?
Nikola Jokic looks and acts like he has a bad head cold, moves like he’s in pajamas with a nightcap on and a candlestick in his left hand, and still can pull off a Rondo ball-fake at quarter-speed to clear the way for an off-the-backboard alley-oop. That’s what he did in the Nuggets’ 95-92 win over ...

Lance Stephenson Turned Jeff Green Into A Tumbling Tumbleweed
NBA floors must be getting extremely slippery as the regular season winds down. First Chris Paul chased D.J. Wilson off the court with a step-back move in Houston’s loss to Milwaukee earlier tonight, and here we have Lance Stephenson sending Jeff Green flailing to hell with a fierce dribble sequenc...

Maybe D.J. Wilson Had Someplace He Needed To Be, Did You Ever Think Of That
It’s easy to watch this video of Chris Paul executing a sharp step-back crossover dribble, and Bucks defender D.J. Wilson careening off into the distance like God reached down and violently tilted the court under his feet, and assume that Wilson was somehow “owned.” That because Wilson’s wild, stumb...

My Kids Won’t Stop Gaslighting Me<em></em>
If you’ve been around these internet parts for the past few years, you know all about gaslighting, wherein people stand behind a lie so fervently that they compel others to believe it as well, leaving marks unsure as to what is true and what really is the name of Apple CEO Tim Apple....

Devils Goalie Cory Schneider Beaten By A Wrist Shot From The Damn Moon
A goal from center ice in a non-empty-net situation undoubtedly reflects very, very poorly on the goalie who let it by. Here New Jersey Devils goalie Cory Schneider seems flummoxed by Sam Reinhart’s swerving, bouncing 85-footer, and makes a limp stab at the puck on its way by, which has got to be ju...

Anthony Pettis's Superman Punch KO Was Flawless And Brutal
The main event of Saturday night’s UFC Fight Night card lasted two rounds, and Anthony Pettis spent the bulk of that time getting picked apart by Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson. It was a suitably thorough performance from one of the UFC’s most accomplished kickboxers, right up until the moment Pettis ...

Hornets' Jeremy Lamb Stuns Toronto With Absolutely Ridiculous, Game-Winning Buzzer-Beater
March Madness has been lacking in sweet buzzer-beaters, but Charlotte Hornets guard Jeremy Lamb was willing to fill that void. He heaved this sloppy, desperate rainbow shot from behind half-court and banked it in for tonight’s 115-114 win over the Raptors....

James Harden Cooks His Spiciest Meatball Yet
At this point in James Harden’s absurd season, a 27-point first quarter is not all that shocking on its own. The dude has already logged 57 or more points five times in 2019, and the Rockets’ offense is weirdly at its most effective when Harden gets to step back across the three-point line to his he...

Joel Embiid Calls Himself "Best Defensive Player" And "Most Unstoppable Player" In NBA, Might Not Be Wrong
The 76ers came back from a 15-point second-half deficit to beat the visiting Celtics Wednesday night, behind a monstrous performance from the huge and unstoppable Joel Embiid. Embiid—whose conditioning, at the moment, is less than great—played more than 41 minutes, the second most he’s played in a g...

This Is The Lightning At Their Most Beautiful
The Lightning and the Capitals are playing an awesome, intense back-and-forth game tonight, and Tampa Bay took a 4-3 lead in the second period on a PP goal that was pretty much the pinnacle of what their forwards can achieve....

Inept Soccer Team Takes Fifty-Four (54) Shots And Scores Zero (0) Goals
Bolivian club Nacional Potosí hosted Venezuelan club Zulia last night in a Copa Sudamericana match, South America’s equivalent to the Europa League. Nacional had 79 percent possession of the ball and popped off a staggering 54 shots. Zulia took just six shots all night and completed just 47 percent ...

The Blues Ruthlessly Tormented Oilers Goalies Tonight
The St. Louis Blues should be heading to the playoffs next month, and the Oilers are definitely heading back home to lick their wounds and wonder what went wrong again this year, and the difference between those two outlooks was on full display in Missouri tonight. Blues forwards were practically la...

Here's A Cool Play The Trail Blazers Use To Ambush Unsuspecting Opponents
In the second quarter of an eventual home win over the Pacers, Trail Blazers head coach Terry Stotts dialed up a delicious little inbounds play to get reserve center Enes Kanter a point-blank look at the basket. The play involves very little movement and trickery, and mostly relies on two tall dudes...

Steph Curry Busts Out Of A Slump With A Damn 60-Footer
Steph Curry opened up Monday night’s road game in San Antonio freezing cold, by his standards. He missed seven of his first eight shots, including all four of his three-point attempts. He blew a point-blank layup, and had another slapped off the glass, and bricked a wide open three from the top of t...

Zion Williamson—And I Can't Stress This Enough—Could Rebound Me Off The Back Iron And Dunk Me Through The Floorboards
The rate of improvement seems frankly unsustainable. But Zion Williamson, who was once known for his comically improbable high school basketball highlight reels, is now cutting similarly ridiculous ones at the damn ACC Tournament. Can he just keep scaling up to new plateaus of competition? It’s hard...

Giannis And Embiid, Just A Couple Of Giant Space Monsters Smashing Everyone Else Into Hell
The Bucks played the 76ers yesterday, in Milwaukee. The game had an outcome; the outcome had no effect on the standings. I am here to call to your attention the two giant space monsters, Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid, who combined for 92 points and 31 rebounds in the game and made everybody ...

Lionel Messi's Hat Trick Inspired Opposing Supporters To Give Him A Standing Ovation
Lionel Messi doesn’t have to keep showing his greatness to us mere mortals, but he does so anyway out of the kindness of his heart. His latest act of generosity came against Real Betis where he scored an incredible hat trick in a 4-1 victory for his 477th win in a Barcelona shirt—a new club record....

The Pelicans Gave The Suns A Masterclass On The Dumbest Possible Way To Lose A Basketball Game
With 7.6 seconds to go in overtime, down 136-133, Suns guard Devin Booker tried to hit a game-tying three but airballed the shot completely and gave possession back to his opponents. The Pelicans then used their final timeout—keep that in mind—to advance the ball for an inbounds play that would at l...