light Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Is Truly Sickening That The Blue Devils Also Have R.J. Barrett
Duke’s multi-stage devastation of Canadian basketball continued Friday, in Toronto, with the vile Blue Devils pounding the bejeezus out of the poor Varsity Blues of the University of Toronto. Zion Williamson thrashed the feeble, excessively polite fellows of Ryerson Wednesday night, and although he ...
Here Are Some Videos Of Simone Biles Dominating At The National Championships
BOSTON — We are just eight routines into Simone Biles’s return to competition and I’ve already run out of superlatives to describe just how good she is. I feel like everyone who is tasked with writing about Biles more than once finds themselves reaching for the thesaurus just to find new ways of des...
This Triple Play Confused The Hell Out Of Everyone Involved<em></em>
Triple plays are always cool, but the best instances are the ones that leave everyone—fielders, runners, fans, broadcasters—kind of confused about what exactly just happened. Last night’s Angels-Rangers game gave us one of those....
Andrés Iniesta Has Moved To Japan And Become A Golazo-Scoring Fiend
They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. They also say there is always one exception that proves any given rule. I don’t really know what to do with these two chestnuts but they seem relevant to the fact that Andrés Iniesta has moved to Japan and apparently transformed into Lionel Messi....
Jose Ramirez Utterly Baffled By Utility Man Brandon Dixon's 10th Straight Curveball
This is wonderful. Reds utility man Brandon Dixon made his first career pitching appearance Monday night, in the ninth inning of an eventual 10-3 loss to the Indians. His pitching line was great: Dixon threw 10 total pitches; no one of them was harder than 74 miles per hour; the slowest came in unde...
Swaggering Youth Devastated By Crafty Old Baller
A strapping young lad—fearing, as many young basketball lads foolishly do, to body up a savvy old baller going butt first into the paint—was savagely ruined by his wizened opponent, on the craftiest of sleight-of-hand pump fakes:...
Ronald Acuña Jr. Is Donging His Way Into The Record Books
Ronald Acuña Jr.—the second-most impressive sub-legal drinking age player in the NL East—is having an extremely good time these days. He’s batting leadoff for an Atlanta Braves team that suddenly finds itself half a game up in the division, and he is smoking the hell out of the damn baseball....
Minor League Baseball Team Wins On A Three-Run Walk-Off Uncaught Third Strike<em></em>
Minor league baseball is nuts, man. The Burlington Bees had already bled two runs to the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers in the bottom of the ninth of Friday’s Class-A game, but they still had two outs and two strikes against batter Nic Pierre with the bases loaded. The Timber Rattlers’ left fielder struc...
English Teen Lauren Hemp Scores From The Right Flank With Her Right Flank<em></em>
If we were to build a pantheon of world soccer’s most lethal weapons, there are a few iconic appendages we can think of that would be locks to make it in: Lionel Messi’s left foot, Cristiano Ronaldo’s right, Abby Wambach’s head. To those ranks we must now add the right hip/stomach/ribs region of Lau...
Johnny Manziel Jacked Up In Second CFL Start
Johnny Manziel’s second CFL start went much better than his first. For one thing, he made it out of the first half; for another, he completed 16 of 26 passes for 168 yards, and gained another 36 yards on three rushing attempts, and generally looked like a guy who can do some positive football things...
Ramon Laureano Threw The Shit Out Of This Baseball
Ramon Laureano has played a total of five games in the majors, all this season, all since the start of August. It’s been a fun start! He’s already had a number of defensive highlights, and his first hit in the bigs was a walk-off game-winner in extras, in his first career game....
Paul Pogba's Weirdo Penalty Is The First Premier League Goal Of The Season
At the start of a game that probably shouldn’t be played right now (I mean really, the World Cup ended less than a month ago for chrissakes, don’t these guys deserve some rest?), a player that probably shouldn’t be playing (Paul Pogba had a big role in that World Cup right up till the end, you might...
Yeah, That's A Goddamn Moth In An Umpire's Ear
Gahhhhh. This is an awful thing that should never happen—with any living creature, not just a dusty flying bug—but Yankees-White Sox umpire Bruce Dreckman was remarkably calm when a small, moth-like animal (most likely a moth) flew into his ear between innings....
César Hernández Circles The Bases On A Bunt Thanks To Diamondbacks' Errors
In the eighth inning of the Phillies’ game against the Diamondbacks on Tuesday, two throwing errors by Arizona led to César Hernández touching ‘em all on a bunt....
Shohei Ohtani Will Throw Again Soon, And He's Still Smacking Big Dingers While He Waits
The Angels are more or less sunk this year, thanks to the depth of good teams in the AL West. But Japanese rookie sensation Shohei Ohtani is still balling, despite not being allowed on a mound since June. ...
Two Pirates Minor Leaguers Hit For The Cycle In The Same Game
Here’s something improbable: two minor league teammates in the Pirates system hit for the cycle Tuesday night, in the same game. Kevin Newman got his in five at-bats, notching a single, a pair of doubles, a triple, and finally, in the eighth inning, a solo dong to left:...
Félix Hernández Can't Contain His Laughter After Ugly Adrián Beltré Strikeout
King Félix has some of the nastier stuff in baseball. Tuesday night he K’d up his old nemesis Adrián Beltré on a wicked 78-mph breaking pitch, drawing a hilarious truncated swing out of Beltré, followed by a look of pure bafflement. It was more than Hernández could handle:...
Javy Báez Is Now As Great As He Is Captivating
Only a true turd would try to claim that Cubs infielder Javy Báez has not been the most consistently entertaining player in baseball over the last few seasons. From the moment he arrived in the big leagues he went about turning his every movement on the field into highlight-reel material, but there ...
Angry Baseball Guy Brings Trash Can Onto Field, Tells Umpire To "Go To Your Home"
Most sports meltdowns burn out quickly or overstay their welcome and become a bore. But sometimes, a rare and precious freakout pushes beyond that second phase, transcending a few moments of hotheadedness and continuing off into the realm of High Art. Brennan Metzger achieved such a feat last night....
Nick Kyrgios Thumps Ridiculous 115 MPH Forehand
Nick Kyrgios and Stan Wawrinka returned to Canada today for the triennial Kokkinakis Classic, and in the first set the Australian took an easy lead over the step-slow Swiss in their first-round Rogers Cup match. The standout shot from their 6-1 first set had was one of the fastest groundstrokes you ...