los Page 274 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cubs Celebrate Interesting But Ultimately Meaningless Round Number Of Franchise Victories
The Chicago Cubs played their first National League game on on April 25, 1876, less than two months before Custer met his fate at the Little Big Horn. In the former, Albert Spalding threw the first shutout in National League history, 4-0 over the Louisville Grays. In the latter, Crazy Horse earned t...
Don't Make Them Angry. You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angry
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait for the new Hulk movie and thinks Edward Nortan is the perfect heir to Bill Bixby. When he's not watching NBA officials river dance, he can be found admiring Roger Mason's superhuman strength at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They're finally awake now....
The Zen-Like Qualities Of An Own Goal
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...
Game Sevens Beyond Thunderdome
The NHL Closer is written by the five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off, who attempt to reconcile their deviant behavior by invoking Sykes & Matza's Neutralization Theory and participating in the recreational pursuits of latch-hooking and bad MS Paint projects....
Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...
Cubs Are Officially Jinxed ... Nothing More To See Here. Please Move Along
The Chicago Cubs are flying high right now; having won 12 of their past 15 following a 7-1 win over the Mets on Monday. Chicago is 13-6, off to its best start since 1985. But obviously some of their players do not understand the cruel workings of fate as it relates to this team. We're talking about ...
No Eternal Return For Bruins
The NHL Closer is written by five pretentious, post-punk musicians from Melt Your Face Off. We reach for our revolver when Kristen Bell isn't pictured....
Alas, Poor T-Mac...I Knew Him, Horatio!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never, ever forget McGrady's greatness in defeat. He's kind of like a 21st century Dominique Wilkins, if 'Nique had never made it out of the first round. When he's not praising T-Mac, he's probably making fun of him at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He was t...
I Want You To Hurt Like I Do
I love it when a team says that they have released a player "by mutual agreement." That usually means that the team says: "We're not going to start you anytime in the near future, and if you don't like it, then $#%! you." And the player responds: "&%$! me? No, &%$! you!" Various doors are then slamm...
We Were Told There Would Be Beer And Pretzels
The NHL Closer is written by five complete psychopaths from Melt Your Face-Off. If you prick us, do we not bleed? If the voices in our head speak to us, do we not answer? If you puts boobs on our closers, do we not click through the jump?...
Pistons Eat Jerseys, Choke On Game
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's in bed smoking a cigarette after a fulfilling weekend of playoff action. When he's not replaying the events over and over in his head, you can find him basking in the afterglow at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Memo to the Pistons: You might wanna take these gu...
Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer
Kosuke Fukudome sure has been a nice investment for the Chicago Cubs, hasn't it? And the cultural movement has swept up the north side of Chicago. The transition from Japan to America has been almost seamless (.317 average, .442 on-base percentage) for him, but the fans haven't quite gotten it down ...
Getting Shut Out? It's The Latest Fad
Pick up a Tamagotchi and drink your Surge! Join in what everyone else is doing. C'mon, it's fun to lose a little bit of your individuality when, in return, you get a false sense of having a wealth of friends with one shared interest! What did you download from Napster last night? Me, I got the new L...
Tim Duncan: Awesomming From Everywhere (Even Three-Point Range)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's freaking excited about the freaking playoffs. So if you hear about him doing anything else at any time, it wasn't really him. Unless he's talking about beersomnia and bad movies at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Tim Duncan was legen...wait for it...dary. Timm...
Free Darko On Los Angeles-Denver
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-Denver Nuggets series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Maddux Left For Dead, Doesn't Actually Die
Thursday "night"'s game for San Diego lasted all of 22 innings. Friday's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks was over after just one inning, when they were losing 6-0. And as impressive as Dan Haren, Conor Jackson, Justin Upton, THE UNPREDICTABLE ERIC BYRNES WOBBITY WOK, and all of the other Diamo...
Denver Versus Los Angeles: The Nuggets Are Gonna Get Shelled Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Erstern Conference today, starting with the series between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Denver Nuggets, which begins Sunday....
Mmmff (Yawn) Good Morning ... Is The Padres Game Over Yet?
As a weary nation slept peacefully, the Rockies' Kip Wells struck out Padres' pitcher Glendon Rusch to end the longest game in either team's history; a 22-inning, 2-1 win for Colorado at Petco Park. It all ended at 1:21 a.m. PST — 4:21 on the east coast — 6 hours, 16 minutes after it had begun. By t...
Overtime Is Not Ovie Time
The NHL Closer is written by the five sophisticated gentlemen at Melt Your Face Off. When not sampling caviar and fine bordeaux, they enjoy attending monster truck rallies and frog-gigging....