m Page 5958 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Triumvirate Of Misery. Your Championship Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Miguel Cabrera Is On The Wagon
"Cabrera said today that he hasn't had a drink since the well-publicized incident in the last week of the regular season that saw him taken into custody after a domestic-abuse complaint was filed by his wife."[Freep]...
What Is Wrong With Our Fragile NFL Kickers?
There is an excellent chance that one of the two monumental playoff games this Sunday will hinge on a crucial field goal attempt—and an even better chance that whoever is asked to kick it will miss....
Frisky Italian TV Reporter Grabs David Beckham's Crotch
My Italian is spotty, but I think I can figure out what this woman is trying to do. I still don't understand why she needed the rubber gloves to grope Beckham. [WhoAteAllThePies]...
Today's Phrase That Pays: "Hockey Taliban"
Comparing overly loyal hockey fans to vile religious dictators should probably not cause any problems for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Bob Smizik. Seriously, those people are capable of anything! (Hockey fans, I mean.) [Post-Gazette; guy who is not Taliban via]...
Last Night's Winner: Anti-Tobacco Activists
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who can't decide which Durham-area basketball team they hate more. The Tar Heels or the Dukies? Now it's easier than ever to do both!...
New Orleans Chooses Wisely Between Football And Culture
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Also Not A Fan Of Socialized Medicine: Brock Lesnar
The UFC Champ just got over a nasty case of diverticulitis, no thanks to Canada. In a move sure to upset half our nation and all of theirs, Lesnar trashed universal health care and called Canada "a Third World country."...
Galácticos Go Dark
Lights went out for 80 minutes during Real Madrid's friendly with an Albanian side. Local fans, perhaps conscious that we don't have any good Albanian jokes, threw lighters on the field during the blackout. [Reuters]...
Conan Plays The Lovable Loser, But On The Court As Well?
Conan O'Brien might have some downtime coming up. So the Washington Generals, they of the decades-long losing streak, have reached out and offered him a starting spot....
Every Time You Void Your Bowels You'll Think Of Lane Kiffin
It's cute when Knoxville pretends they didn't want Kiffikins anyway, but the newest proposal is fitting: bestow his name on the place they get rid of their shit....
Poor Chan Gailey Can't Even Get Respect From Closed Captioning
Chan Gailey made light of his under-the-radar status in the NFL's coaching mechanical horsey ride, but it appears the TV robot felt obligated to add a little more pizazz to the Bills' humdrum choice....
Wheelchair Lady, Off-Duty Cop Took Down Loud Jets Fan
The unruly Jets fan who was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium in chains has come forward and the San Diego PD has been shamed into a response by anonymous websites. Was he railroaded or did he get what he deserved?...
Somebody Send A Blogger To Vegas For Charity And Trash-Talking
Dan Levy of "On The Dan Levy" has a favor to ask: please help him decide which professional blogger should accompany him to Las Vegas over Super Bowl weekend. Your choices: Josh Zerkle or Matt Sebek. Your vote counts. [OnTheDanLevy]...
Mark Sanchez Is The New JaMarcus Russell, Only Worse
Vince Verhei draws an intriguing comparison. JaMarcus Russell, 2008-09: 198-for-368, 2,423 yards, 13 TDs. Mark Sanchez, 2009-10: 196-for-364, 2,444 yards, 12 TDs. The difference? Sanchez threw more picks. And only six people thought to mention Russell’s “poise.” Six....
Whites-Only Basketball League Swears It's Not Racist
A Georgia man is forming a whites-only pro basketball league "due to the proliferation of non-organized play." (i.e., "brown guys.") The Augusta Chronicle promises it's not a hoax, because pro wrestling promoters named "Moose" are very trustworthy....
Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....
The Best Place To Get In A Bar Fight This Sunday
When Viking fans in New York City want to watch Vikings games, they go to a place called Bar None. When Saints fans in New York City want to watch Saints games, they go to the exact same bar. Uh-oh....
Oh, Go F*ck Yourself, Curt Schilling
"They were up three games to none," Schilling tells Bryan Curtis, analogizing Massachusetts' special election to that one year when he had an owie on his foot, "and there was no possible way they were going to lose four straight."...
You Might Have A Death Wish If You Want A Career in Big Time College Coaching
"Nearly every Division I head coach puts in more than 100-hour weeks during the season and heavy recruiting periods. If anything, it's amazing more coaches haven't suffered heart attacks or more serious ailments as a result of stress..."[SI]...