m Page 5959 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Morning in TMZish Sports: A Tiger-Like Human Spotted At Sex Rehab
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....

Here's Kimbo Slice And Elton John, Just Because
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Did Venus Go Commando?
The most pressing question of our time is, naturally, was Venus Williams wearing underwear at the Australian Open yesterday? We dig deep, breaking down the footage, to give you a definitive answer....

Two Down, Five Dirty Words To Go For Andy Roddick (Update, With Bonus Hangover Quote)
(Thanks to Rick for tracking down and grabbing the videos)...

JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...

The Saints Go Marching In Without Deuce, Governor
Boy, wasn't it inspirational when New Orleans signed Deuce McAllister before the Cardinals game? The beloved superstar and former face of the franchise, back for one final hurrah. Sorry Deuce, you're cut....

Rex Ryan Is Fat And Happy
Ryan, seen here in a rare between-meals period, consumes 7,000 calories a day and has never ordered a salad, according to "team sources." Things are good in Jetland if this is what's being leaked. [NY Post]...

Taiwan CGI'ers Take On Leno vs. Conan
Fresh off interpreting the Tiger Woods follies, Taiwan's considerable technological might comes to bear on the late night wars. Except Jay, Conan and Zucker are superheroes here, for some reason. This medium is the future of journalism, by the way....

Tiger Woods' Sex Rehab Adventure, As Gleaned From A Few Brochure Photographs
Tiger Woods is at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services in Hattiesburg, Miss., where he is reportedly receiving treatment for sex addiction. What does that entail? Let's look at photos on the center's web site and find out....

Mississippi State Recruits Enjoy Ponies And/Or Strippers
It seems that quite a few high school football recruits made their campus visit to Mississippi State this weekend and a few mentioned enjoying something called "THE PONY." You don't think they're talking about Starkville's greatest strip club, do you?...

One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...

Scared Children Still Being Trampled By Angry Sheep, TV News Reports
Mutton bustin' is huge, according to some weird Fox News story that features terrifying video from Denver's National Western Stock Show. For example? "In a year-end post, sports blog Deadspin highlighted the year in mutton." We're tastemakers now! [MyFox]...

Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...

Today In TMZish Sports: Kardashian Denies Engagement Rumor, Bobsled Lady Shows Keister, Rachel Uchitel Turning 35
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Verizon Chick, Revealed! Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering shower beers, heaven's database, Chocodiles, Verizon chick, Band Aids, and more....

Terrorists Hope To Win Olympic Gold ... For Your Murder
This is an actual headline on ABCNews.com right now: ""Headed to Olympics? Beware of Terror Attacks." So enjoy the bobsled everyone ... because it will be your last!...

Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...

It's Winter, So That Means Many Publications Will Rank Ladies Based On Physical Attributes
Like AskMen.com, which has released its annual "Top 99 Women" gallery. Find out which starlets campaigned for Obama (many), who has designed a tin condom and which semi-famous girl started her career as a Sports By Brooks gal. [AskMen.com]...

We Don't Play Australian Open Tennis In Your Toilet, So Please Don't Pee On Our Court
An Australian Open match was delayed by 40 minutes today when a (nervous? sick?) ballboy peed himself on the court. At least he has a long fruitful life of intense psychological therapy ahead of him. [The Age/Fanhouse]...