m Page 6034 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is The Headline That Haunts Matt Holliday's Dreams
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Some People Had A Better Night Than Others
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Of WAGs And Witchcraft
A Spanish "witch" came forward to say he was paid to put a curse on Cristiano Ronaldo, causing his recent ankle injury. Suspect number one in the Spanish press: a jilted Paris Hilton. [Sport]...
Fascists Sponsoring Marathons Now, Apparently
By the time you wake up tomorrow, you might be the winner of Milwaukee's Lakefront Marathon. Because every time they declare a victor, they turn around and get disqualified....
The True American Way To Ball Hawk: Sue
The Happy Youngster might be on his way to law school after reading this one; a Miami family has forced the Phillies to return a home run ball by threat of a lawsuit. America!...
It's Always Bitey In Philadelphia
We're still trying to sort out what went down, but it looks like Kris Letang's hand got a little too close to Scott Hartnell's mouth. He might want to get tested for rabies....
Cardinals Defense Takes A Holliday
That is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way to lose a playoff game. Commenter SavetoFavorites: "Kinda curious how the best fans in baseball will welcome Matt Holliday back home after this one." [Leitch's Twitter]...
Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...
Fisting Chip Caray
America has its first postseason goat, and he is Harry Christopher Caray III, better known as Chip, the nepotistic unemployable who was so bad in Tuesday's tiebreaker that he momentarily made baseball fans forget that the Tigers were totally jobbed....
Cole Hamels Leaves Game When Wife Goes Into Labor
Hamels left with his stick-figure artist wife, Heidi, after she went into labor with their first child. Hamels had given up four runs and seven hits in five innings, laying, as if in sympathy, an enormous Game 2 egg. [ESPN]...
Good Guys Wear Briefs
Here's a video of a sad White Sox vendor in his underwear horsewhipping a bench. This is apparently some grand tradition that dates back to those days when the Sox were managed by the Marquis de Sade. [Sun-Times]...
White Trash Rebels Fans Would Like To See This Man Dead Over White Trash Comments
The SEC is littered with pugnacious rivalries, and one Bama'-banged Zabka named Taylor Fortenberry created his usual trash-talk video before this week's Ole Miss clash. Unfortunately, now Ole Miss fans want to kill him. Dead. For real....
Old-School Skunk And The Ripe-Tomato Eyes Of Pete Johnson
"Dark Side of the Locker Room" is a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
Breaking: Member Of New York Sports Media Writes Insightful Derek Jeter Story
Ian O'Connor provides a tangible reason for Captain Intangibles' rediscovered greatness: a fitness trainer who loosened up Jeter's stiff left hip, which previously had turned him into statuary any time a ball was hit toward second. So clutch! [Bergen Record]...
The Most Hopeless Franchise In Football. Jamboroo, Week 5
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...
A Solo On The Toy Drum
You've read our "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, in which journalists share their bizarre encounters with sports figures and, frequently, their genitalia. Consider this the reverse: Sports figures share their (and, perhaps, their genitalia's) bizarre encounters with journalists....
The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them....
So, How Are Those Replacement Refs Working Out?
Scab refs called 75 fouls during last night's Celtics-Rockets preseason game. The teams combined to shoot 102 free throws. The NBA: Where play stoppage happens. [Chron.com, via TrueHoop]...
The Shiancoesaurus Made Another Subtle, Brief Appearance Monday Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....