m Page 6035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marshall's AD Is Surrounded By College Girls
Until he can find permanent housing, Mike Hamrick is living in an all-female dorm wing. He's living every man's dream, except the women are all half his age. So, yeah, he's living every man's dream. [The Parthenon]...

Hawkeye Goes From Fan To Fanatic To Psychotic
At first this reads like the further pussification of sports, where a fan gets arrested for heckling a player. But it quickly takes a turn into Annie Wilkes territory....

Would-Be Thugs Pick On The Wrong Crossdressers (UPDATED WITH VIDEO)
Next time you try to beat up a couple of women, make sure they're not men in drag. And also MMA fighters....

Jerry Johncock Jury-rigs Johnson While Jogging
A runner may be disqualified from winning his age group at a marathon this weekend, because he got illegal assistance from a spectator. And by "assistance," I mean a urinary catheter that he used to drain the main vein mid-race....

The Learning Curve: IvyGate Sports
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Touchdown, Big Boy
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Australian Racing Fans Forced To Be Slightly Less Drunk Than Normal
Australia's legendary Bathurst 1000 motorcar race has been besieged by drunkenness in recent years, so this year police are cracking down. Only one case of beer, per person, per day. Show some restraint, people! [Telegraph/Sports Rubbish]...

Alabama Father Pleased Daughter's Domestic Dispute Won't Interfere With Football Season
Alabama linebacker Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend both agreed to dismiss charges filed against the other after a lover's spat this summer. No one is more excited about this than the girl's father who exited the courthouse shouting, "Roll Tide!"...

World Can At Last Make A Germane "Dirty Sanchez" Pun
QB Mark Sanchez was fined $5,000 for his cheap shot on the Saints' Jonathan Vilma, in which Sanchez launched himself at Vilma's knees during Darren Sharper's 99-yard interception return for a touchdown. Such poise! [Star-Ledger, Pro Football Talk]...

Potential Owner Of St. Louis Rams Offers Fun Stereotype About Midnight Basketball Players
Much like softball is the favorite sport of lesbians and soccer the preferred choice for illegal immigrants, radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh declares basketball "the favorite sport of gangs." I thought it was dominoes? [MediaMatters]...

WFC Open Thread
Phillies vs. Rockies. Cliff Lee vs. Ubaldo Jimenez. Smelly Cheese Steak Heads vs. Tongue Bathers. [Yahoo!]...

Ron Artest Politely Asks Blog Critic To Fellate Something
Writing an "open letter" to Ron Artest demanding that he clean up his act and then emailing it to him seemed like such a good idea. Who could have guessed Artest would respond with, "Suck a cock"?...

MLB Postseason Preview: Predictions!
No one knows anything, but hell, like anyone will remember anyone's predictions anyway. Here are the official Emeritus predictions for the Major League Baseball playoffs, which start (woo-hoo!) today....

Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...

The Forgotten Man Of <em>Moneyball</em>, Part 1
He calls himself "the pebble that started the avalanche," the man who taught baseball analysis to Billy Beane. Gandhi, someone wrote, sparking MLK's revolution. Today, Moneyball remains a hotly debated phenomenon. Eric Walker is a footnote. Here's the footnote's story....

BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Makes New York Ladies Swoon
The Jets golden boy quarterback is pretty nifty with the football, but did you know that he is also considered to be physically attractive? You do now, thanks to this hard hitting investigative report, "Mark Sanchez: Hot or Not?"...

MLB Postseason Preview: St. Louis Cardinals
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The St. Louis Cardinals....

Tony Romo: Not A Complete Idiot
As someone who has his competence challenged on a regular basis, I sympathize with Tony Romo. Luckily, unlike Romo, I've been spared the indignity of having to issue a press release to confirm that I know how to count....
