m Page 6570 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Prayers For More Carlos Mencia Have Been Answered
When someone convinces Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas to reprise their Bob and Doug MacKenzie characters for a beer ad, that's when I'll get excited about a Super Bowl commercial. Until then we've got Carlos Mencia, who will be featured in a Bud Light Super Bowl spot this year. Hey, where's everybody ...

Hey, At Least SOMEONE Was Calling In
We remember the old days, back when we were dorfing around at the Daily Illini, of media conference calls with Big Ten coaches. Gene Keady would ramble on too long, Lou Henson would drone that earnest whine of his and Bob Knight, of course, would never show up. It was strange, really, to have a phon...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Dramatic New Footage Surfaces Of Tom Brady Walking
Tom Brady WILL be at the dance tonight, girls. He WILL be there. I'm paraphrasing Bill Murray in Meatballs, but you get the picture. So, Brady's "high ankle sprain" is not as serious as many believed (hoped?) ... unless they're now making walking casts in pointy-toed dress shoe designs. He showed up...

24 Hours Of Absolute Hockey Insanity
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

It's Got To Be The Shoes, Money
We are sad to say that Jonah Keri has discontinued his College Basketball Closer; we will miss him. But that's not all for the Closer; we'd like to hand the mic to the gang at Storming The Floor to fill in....

Does Anyone Have The Heart To Tell This Guy That Nash Isn't American?
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or ordering some violent quiche, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

ESPN Sends Dana Jacobson Away For A Week
The official word has come down: Dana Jacobson has been suspended by ESPN for a week following her apparent meltdown at the Mike and Mike Roast....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while baking ... • College basketball: Kentucky beats No. 3 Tennessee, 72-66. I think this is a fantastic ... upset. This is Kige Ramsey for YouTube Sports. • NHL: The Osgood File ... Red Wings 3, Kings Zip. • MLB: Chuck Knoblauch, you got served!...

Another Reason To Yammer About Tom Brady All Week
SCANDALOUS celebrity Web site TMZ was the first to post the pictures of Tom Brady's "boot cast thing" — trademark Deadspin! — and it is everyone in a tizzy. We quite love the idea of John Clayton and Len Pasquarelli digging through TMZ for more Tom Brady injury updates....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while caressing your newest, proudest possession: Gary Coleman's pants ... • College basketball: Michigan at Wisconsin (7 p.m., ET); Tennessee at Kentucky (9 p.m., ET). Say hello to Kige if you go. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Montreal (7:30 p.m., ET). So much better than televised fishing,...

Rick Majerus Should Probably Just Stop Referring To The Groin Area
You thought Rick Majerus was just in trouble for pulling out his penis in front of his players. Nope! He made the tiny mistake of expressing his views on abortion....

Anaheim Will Steal Your Lunch Money
Come to think of it, the NHL is kind of like a high school, and not just because everybody's ready to fall asleep by third period and the whole thing ends with a whimper in late June. That Tampa Bay is "the prom queen who got pregnant and now she's not the same as she used to be," and Nashville is"t...

Let The Thumb Separate Them
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Lawyer IndianChief....

Giants Running Back Once Couldn't Even Outrun The Five-Oh
One of the nice aspects of the Super Bowl is that, with the media clusterphooey descending on the game, smaller stories that people might not know about lesser-known players. OK, actually, this is one of those theoretically nice things; it never actually happens this way, which is why, we repeat, yo...

God Save The Fan FAQ
As you might have remembered, our book, God Save The Fan, is being released today. You can find it at bookstores everywhere. We've been asked a lot of questions about the book, so we thought that today, on its release date, we would do our best to answer them the best we know how. Hence, Frequently ...

Selig Will Never, Ever Leave
• If Bud Selig gets an extension, everybody should! [Rumors And Rants] • Is Gonzaga's Big Monday deal good for the WCC? [Storming The Floor] • Jason Priestly, back on the track. [Brahsome] • In the bathroom for 30 days. Or something. [Shakedownsports] • Who are the best goal scorers since the lockou...

This Guy Hasn't Washed His Face Since 2004
They've announced the villain in the next Batman movie, and this one's the most insidious of all. His powers include super smugness, a photographic memory that does not include anything prior to 2001, and invisibility (should the conversation turn to the Bruins). Only posted comment to his photo so...

Tom Coughlin's Audacious Hands Of Hope And Joy
As much as we enjoyed the Giants-Packers NFC Championship Game on Sunday — we were hardly rooting for the Giants, but hey, what's more exciting than a guy finally hitting a game-winning field goal on his third try? — we found it somewhat disorienting: We are absolutely not used to see Giants coach T...