Manchester United Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Reminder That Anthony Martial Is Still A Goddamn Child
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that, notwithstanding his huge transfer fee and his multimillion-dollar salary and his formidable size and his surprisingly advanced game, underneath it all, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is still just a kid....
What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?
We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be bac...
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Ice-Cold Coutinho Skates By Defense, Daggers Manchester United With A Sweet Chip
Here is Liverpool’s Philippe Coutinho easing down the Manchester United flank, floating into the box, then coolly flipping the ball over keeper David De Gea with about as much difficulty and exertion as you or I would jog out to the grocery store to pick up a carton of chocolate milk:...
The Premier League Title Race Is Impossibly Close And So Much Fun
The enduring memory of this weekend’s Premier League action—from Leicester flirting with disaster against Norwich before pulling it out late on Saturday, to Tottenham and Arsenal struggling to keep their own title hopes alive against Swansea and Manchester United, respectively—is just how stupidly f...
Everybody Get Down
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Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half
Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...
Defender Admits Manchester United's Memphis Depay Beat His Ass So Bad He Almost Cried
While virtually unknown striker Marcus Rashford’s unbelievable and hilarious two-goal senior team debut was the biggest story coming out of yesterday’s Manchester United-Midtjylland match, the true star on the day was Memphis Depay. He absolutely obliterated the Midtjylland defense, running up and d...
![Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ysq02t1fnmv0ryalypvi.jpg)
Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]
In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...
Louis van Gaal Urges His Players To Get Rock Hard For Victory
So that’s what Louis van Gaal means when he says he pumps up Manchester United’s players before matches....
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
Manchester United Are Toast
With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely....
Chelsea's Kurt Zouma Stretchered Off After Nasty Knee Injury [Warning: Graphic]
Chelsea center back Kurt Zouma went down in a heap after going up for this header and coming down with knee bent the wrong way. He immediately (and audibly) began screaming, and was stretchered off the pitch. ...
Anthony Martial Is Manchester United's Best Player, And That's Their Problem
Judging by the club’s post-Alex Ferguson travails, it would’ve been perfectly fitting if Anthony Martial—Manchester United’s last-minute solution to their attacking woes, who cost the club about two arms and four legs—would’ve turned out to be a bust....
Chris Martin's Masterful Assist Sets Up Equalizer For Derby County
Manchester United is even 1-1 with Championship side Derby County at the half of their FA Cup match after George Thorne found the net courtesy a gorgeous over-the-top pass from Chris Martin....
Read The Leaked Transfer Agreement Between Manchester United And Monaco For Anthony Martial
Manchester United paid Monaco €50 million ($54.5 million) in September for teenage striking sensation Anthony Martial, a fee that will almost assuredly rise to €70 million ($76.2 million) and could rise to €80 million ($87.1 million) in the next few years. This in the neighborhood of what was report...
David Moyes Sneaks Excuses For His Own Failure Into Comments Backing Louis van Gaal
When a team finds itself mired in a bog of bad results it can’t work its way out of, it’s perfectly common for illustrious figures from the club’s past to pop up offering words of support and encouragement to the current players and staff. What isn’t so common is a less-than-illustrious former manag...
Well, We Know Who Manchester United Fans Want Managing Their Team
Be careful what you wish for ......
Pissed Off Louis van Gaal Demands Apology From Media, Storms Out Of Press Conference
Yesterday had to be an ... interesting experience for beleaguered Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal. At about this hour, Twitter exploded with rumors that he had been fired and that the club had already brought in José Mourinho as his replacement. What started as a prank soon snowballed as th...