march-to-3000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

My 3,000th HitDerek Jeter gave me the only baseball I ever got at a game. It was spring training in Tampa, and I was watching the Yankees practice from behind the dugout. Jeter jogged in with a ball, about to give it to the crowd. At first, I started to wave for it, but then, noticing the other 20 similarly aged ...

Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter ColumnIn a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....

Presenting The Two Most Preposterous Sentences Ever Written About Derek Jeter, As Of 11:06 A.M. TodayWould you like to read the two silliest sentences ever written about Derek Jeter in the mainstream press? Two sentences so silly that if you told me someone had liberated all the drunk tanks within the Beltway and set the good folks loose inside whatever inflatable bouncer passes for the USA Today n...

The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something

It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...

Derek Jeter Responsible For All 27 Outs In Yankee Loss

Some history was made last night. In his return from the DL, Derek Jeter reclaimed his leadoff spot and promptly went 0-for-4. But that's not news: Jeter's gone 0-for-4 plenty of times this year. Plenty. What is news is that the Yankees only managed to squeeze out four hits against Indians pitching....