march Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....
Presenting The Two Most Preposterous Sentences Ever Written About Derek Jeter, As Of 11:06 A.M. Today
Would you like to read the two silliest sentences ever written about Derek Jeter in the mainstream press? Two sentences so silly that if you told me someone had liberated all the drunk tanks within the Beltway and set the good folks loose inside whatever inflatable bouncer passes for the USA Today n...
The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something
It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...
Derek Jeter Responsible For All 27 Outs In Yankee Loss
Some history was made last night. In his return from the DL, Derek Jeter reclaimed his leadoff spot and promptly went 0-for-4. But that's not news: Jeter's gone 0-for-4 plenty of times this year. Plenty. What is news is that the Yankees only managed to squeeze out four hits against Indians pitching....
The Right Place At The Right Time: Remembering Lorenzo Charles
In the photographs of that moment, he doesn't show an expression of power, of joy, of triumph or even relief. His eyebrows are arched back, his eyes are wide, his face drawn into a grimace. N.C. State's Lorenzo Charles does not look like a man dunking a basketball, but rather a man returning to Eart...
Brad Marchand Punching Daniel Sedin Like An Inflatable Clown, Set To An Adorable Child's Song
We came across this cute Canucks kid, doing his own version of a Twisted Sister classic. We spruced up the visuals....
Gus Is Gone, But His Most Famous Calls Mashed Up With Internet Memes Lives On Forever
During the 2010 playoffs, David "Crashtern" Matthews, former Deadspin staffer and current production coordinator for the Sports Show with Norm Macdonald blog, put together a tribute for our man Gus, who we learned today is "parting ways" with CBS. It is Gus calling the O.J. chase, Gus calling the i...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is reduced to powder and not the fun kind (for Daniel Snyder)....
Cats vs. Dogs: We Have A Winner!
So it was written, and so it was done. Corgi, winner of the Dog Conference, has narrowly defeated Cat Conference champ Tuxedo. It took blood, sweat, and thousands of votes, but now it's official: DOGS ARE BETTER. Canines are the superior pet, plain and simple. But getting here wasn't easy. [Jezebel]...
Cats vs. Dogs: Judgment Day Has Arrived
This is it. The day we've been waiting for. We started this war with 16 supercute kitties and 16 precious puppies. Now, brave warriors — Tiger! Pit Bull! Tabby! MUTT!!! — lie fallen on the bloodied fields. Only two critters remain: Tuxedo and Corgi. One cat. One dog. And there can only be one winner...
UConn: The Unappreciated Cinderella
All the talk yesterday was about Butler's Cinderella run to its second consecutive NCAA final, and much of the talk afterward was how disappointing it was to see the Bulldogs fall short again, and in such hideous fashion....
UConn Provides An Official Celebration Video That Conveniently Excludes Rioting And Fire
A premiere research university like Connecticut has a certain image to uphold, even when its Division I basketball team wins a national championship and the entire student body goes apeshit crazy overnight. At UConn, this video suggests, students join together to peacefully sing "We Are the Champi...
Jim Nantz Predictably Overdoes It With The Dog Puns
To be fair to Worst Man Jim Nantz, we understand that a Huskies-Bulldogs final is a bit like Christmas for him. A Christmas trimmed with multiple opportunities for insufferable references to dogs and winning. And so when the buzzer sounded, Nantz dropped three dog puns in under 20 seconds. It was ...
This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....
Your UConn-Butler NCAA Championship Open Thread
This one's for a considerable amount of the Tostitos. Will it be the likable Bulldogs, swiftly moving from giant-killers to giants? Or the Huskies, who haven't lost since we still considered the Big East fearsome?...
Cats vs. Dogs: Here Are Your Ferocious Final Four!
What a long, strange trip it's been! As we near the end of the road, we have just two clawing, crazy kitties and two snarling dogs left. The journey has not been without surprises and upsets. And questions! What happened to Pit Bull? Why did the mighty Tiger fall? Who among us would believe Lion wou...
Cats vs. Dogs: The Top Seeds Have Left The Building
Do you feel that? It's fur. And it's static-y, brimming with energy and excitement and electricity - because the end of the big dance is near. But first, there are two tough players waiting to move forward, to take a shot at greatness. The Final Four is around the corner, so grab your sunblock, beca...
Cats vs. Dogs: Ladies And Gents, Meet Your Elite Eight
Our game began with 32 brave players, but after a fierce, fur-flying frenzy, we have only eight strong competitors left. Yes, friends: Just four cats and four dogs remain, and we are one step closer to declaring a victor! Who will it be? Team Bow-wow or Team Meow? [Jezebel]...
Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....
The NCAA May Be Approaching Its Day Of Reckoning
Once upon a time, complaining about exploitation in the NCAA made you the turd in the punch bowl and/or Jason Whitlock. "College athletes should be paid" marked troll territory. Rollie Massimino selflessly forges boys into men, damn it! He's never made a dime off basketball!...