mario Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Minor League Umpire Ejects Ballpark Music Guy For Playing "Three Blind Mice"
If there's one thing umpires love more than ejecting players, it's ejecting non-players. That goes for managers but also fans, mascots, and other ballpark patrons. Tommy Lasorda once complained to umpire Bob Davidson that Youppi!, the Montreal Expos mascot, was jumping up and down on his dugout. (Da...

Sorry, Mario Balotelli Didn't Really Make This German Fan Cry: How TV Lied To You During Euro 2012
In the 36th minute of the Euro 2012 semifinal, Mario Balotelli scored his second goal, a screamer to the top right corner. Balotelli ripped off his jersey and flexed, and the telecast cut to a woman in the stands, a German flag painted on her cheek, a single tear leaking from her eye....

Mario Balotelli Impregnates Person
Ninety or so minutes of soccer ago, Mario Balotelli was playing like the best player on the best team in the world. Now he's going to be a father. That's some consolation, right?...

Balotelli Wasn't The Only Super Mario In Attendance At Yesterday's Euro 2012 Match
It is not a stretch to suggest these gentlemen are actual plumbers, or if they have been in possession of mushrooms at one time or another. We're eagerly anticipating their appearance at Sunday's final; the Italians will need a fire flower or two to get past a tough Spanish defense. (Or one of thos...

Mario Balotelli Singlehandedly Knocked Germany Out Of Euro 2012
Italy's Mario Balotelli scored two first-half goals that proved to be deciding in Italy's 2-1 dispatching of Germany in today's Euro 2012 semifinal in Warsaw....

Even Italy's A Little Racist Toward Mario Balotelli
This cartoon ran in Sunday's Gazzetta dello Sport, Italy's top-selling sports newspaper. It's Balotelli, fresh off the Azzurri triumph over England, climbing Big Ben. (Fun fact: It's officially "Elizabeth Tower" now.) Yes, Balotelli is playing the part of a giant gorilla, and yes, 90 percent of Euro...

Mario Balotelli Doesn't Do Thing
Italy have a few days off before their quarterfinal match, so the team is trying a little bit of everything in training. Yesterday's session included some yoga, which, to be fair, does sound a little new-agey for Balotelli. He's more a "blow stuff up in your bathroom" sort of guy. Mario's level of p...

Mario Balotelli Didn't Start Today's Match, Scored A Wondergoal Anyway
It proved meaningless in the competition—Italy was headed to the Euro 2012 quarterfinals anyway—but Mario Balotelli's goal in the 90th minute of today's Group C bout between the Azzurri and Ireland warrants our consideration regardless....

Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...

How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...

Just Try To Ignore Those Racist Chants At Euro 2012
The theme of the European Championship, which begins tomorrow, is racism. (To be fair to Poland and the Ukraine, the themes of international soccer over the last five years have been racism and goal-line technology. UEFA has made roughly the same progress on the two.) The BBC kicked it off with thei...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Mario Balotelli's prepared for any racism that might erupt during this summer's Euro 2012 competition in Poland and the Ukraine. Prepared to go to jail, that is, telling France Football he's all too willing to face hate with violence:...

Here's The Joey Barton Meltdown From Today's Stunning Manchester City Comeback
Before we got to the dramatic finish, QPR's Joey Barton provided some initial fireworks after getting sent off for an "off-the-ball incident involving Carlos Tevez."...

College Newspaper Captures Euphoria Of Historic Upset With Headline Alluding To Masturbation
Division II Francis Marion University (S.C.) knocked off defending Division I national champ South Carolina in a baseball game on April 11. FMU's student paper is a weekly, and even though the edition chronicling the big win wasn't published until this week, the upset was still enough to merit front...

Italian Soccer Player Dies After Collapsing On The Pitch
Italian league matches were suspended today across the country after the horrifying news that Piermario Morosini, a midfielder for Livorno on loan from Udinese, had collapsed on the pitch with a heart attack and was pronounced dead at a hospital. He was 25....

Mario Balotelli Won't Be Doing Things On A Soccer Pitch For Awhile After A Shameful Sunday Display
Mario Balotelli's season is likely over, as is his career with Manchester City after a reckless display at Ashburton Grove during City's 1-0 loss to Arsenal yesterday....

Mario Balotelli Does Things (Including Wayne Rooney's Prostitute)
It's been a banner week in Super Mario World. Saturday, Balotelli scored two goals, fought over who got to take a free kick, was offered for sale by his manager, did or didn't get in a postmatch fight in the locker room, and yesterday, crashed his Bentley in Manchester....

Swansea Played The Prettiest Soccer Game Of The Year (And Lost)
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Despite Scoring Two Goals, Mario Balotelli's Biggest Impact Yesterday Was This Hissy Fit
A fractured Manchester City side patched together a 3-3 draw at home against Sunderland yesterday thanks in part to two Mario Balotelli goals. Yet City management find themselves most concerned with Balotelli's on-pitch behavior, especially in light of this tantrum he threw yesterday over not bein...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Inter Milan sacked manager Claudio Ranieri this week, and introduced interim manager Andrea Stramaccioni this morning at a press conference....