mascots Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...

Royals Mascot Accused Of Assault With A Deadly Frankfurter
Perhaps we know why the Royals need a new Sluggerrr. The last one nearly blinded a guy with a hot dog and got the team sued. He'd get more damages if he'd actually seen the Royals play. [TMZ; photo via]...

The Royals Will Pay You To Cheer For Them
Aspiring mascots take heed: The Royals need a new "Sluggerrr." Minimum two years experience and an ability to stay awake for nine innings a must. Quality baseball knowledge not necessary (or even preferred.) [Image via Flickr]...

Chris Hansen Goes For The Gold
A Polish newspaper mistakenly included among the Olympic mascots Pedobear, 4chan's lovable mascot for pedophilia. Well, some of those figure skaters are pretty young. [Telegraph]...

PETA And Skynet Team Up To Take On U Of Georgia
Because nothing even remotely animal-related can happen without PETA getting involved, the animal rights organization is recommending that the recently deceased Uga VII be replaced with an animatronic bulldog. And this is how the robot war begins......

A Flying Squirrel Mascot Is Not Totally Nuts
The winning entry in the "name Richmond, Virginia's new minor league baseball team" contest is: The Flying Squirrels. I can't wait for their giant foam mascot to scare the crap out of little children. [WTVR/Times-Dispatch]...

The Pacific Boxer Does Not Wish You Sweet Dreams Tonight
Pacific University—not to be confused with The University of the Pacific—has a mascot who likes to play tennis. He may also be the Gatekeeper of Gozer, but I wouldn't worry too much about that....

St. John's Also Excited About Ambiguous Weather-Based Mascot
Our college sports teams are rocketing into the 21st Century on a wave of aggressive, overcaffeinated, lightning-themed spirit creatures. Why is that bird looking at me like that? Is he smiling or mad? Get out of my soul, winged devil!...

Tulsa's Proactive Mascot Teaches You About Electricity, I Think
Many, many years ago, Tulsa made the decision to name their athletic teams after a weather system. Today, that decision has come back to haunt them. Again....

Meet Crusher, Nightmare Ant's Crustacean Relation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Nicholls State Mascot Will Smash Capitalism, Slash You In The Face
Greetings, Comrades! Nicholls State was named in honor of a former Confederate officer, but since the Civil War is (mostly) over, the school decided their Southern Gentlemen Warrior mascot needed an refresh. So now he's a bloodthirsty fascist oppressor....

This Is Why You Shouldn't Fight Rugby Mascots
That's Egor, the Manly Sea Eagle, and he more than held his own during a recent sideline dust-up. The dooshbag who came out of the stands and sucker punched Egor, got in quite a few headshots. Unfortunately, he was punching a giant foam head....

The Eyes Of Texas Are Upon You
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bingo The Bumbling Bee Bashes His Bee Balls
That's life for the Double-A Mets. First the VP of player development goes Fight Club on them. Now their tinpot mascot crotches itself during a failed home run celebration....

Mascot Intolerance Is A Shark Sandwich
It's 2009, and shark mascots still aren't permitted in a snooty British cricket club. Get PETA on the line — and dial the emergency number. It's urgent!...

Why Jack Never Leaves The Staples Center
Got a Jack Nicholson problem in your front row, Philadelphia? Call in the Phanatic The Batman. [The Fightins]...

Help William & Mary Find A New Mascot
William & Mary is as old school as old school gets, so naturally their sports teams are little traditional/racist. They need a new mascot and it's up to you to prevent (or ensure) that they become the Fightin' Asparagus....

The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....