mash Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Law Took Kyle Busch's License Away For Doing 128 In A 45 Zone
We know, it is awfully hard to believe that some guy who drives expensive cars around at 150 mph for a living would get caught driving an expensive car at 128 mph. Where could he have learned to do something horrible like that?...
Kentucky Demolition Derby Winner Charged With DUI After Winning Demolition Derby
Bad hoodoo from the Jessamine County Fair. Dark times. A champion laid low. On Wednesday, David L. Warner Jr., of Nicholasville, Ky., drove a beaut of a derby in the ultra-competitive small car class. Warner demolished many things on his way to the title. But instead of getting to enjoy his victory,...
Go To Gelf's Varsity Letters Tonight And Listen To Great Boxing Writing
NYC folks: Gelf's Varsity Letters free reading series returns tonight, with boxing writing from Thomas Hauser, George Kimball, and Gary Andrew Poole. Head to Le Poisson Rouge on Bleecker Street at 7:30. It will, as usual, be le great. [Gelf]...
The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....
Listen To Jim Gray's Awful Super Bowl Sign-Off
Jim Gray delivered the Super Bowl sign-off for Westwood One Radio. It was already quite the piece of work, but adding the "Rudy" theme song really just brought it to another level....
Matt Hasselbeck Apologizes After Antonio Cromartie Threatens To Smash His Face
Responding to New York Jet Antonio Cromartie's rant about how the players' union needs "to get their sh— together and just get it done," Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck took to the tubes and "joked" about Cromartie's intelligence....
Join The Deadspin Facebook Page And You Could Possibly Fingersmash Someone At Our Next Party
Oh boy. Since close to 15,000 people are now part of the robust Deadspin Facebook group, it's becoming almost impossible for people not to get laid. YOU SHOULD BE NEXT....
Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....
Chris Chambers, Chris Chambers' Stalker Have Been Pronounced Husband and Wife
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter’s anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
What Not To Do When You've Hooked A Great White
Even if it's a baby, rule number one is don't try to remove the hook with your hands. Rule number two is that a high-pitched girlish scream is simply ineffective in making it let go....
The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much....
Yup, Terry's Secret Lover's Abortion Is Pretty Much Biggest Story Since First Stamford Bridge
When a court overturned an injunction on publishing some John Terry gossip, we thought it was a standard "affair with teammate's girlfriend." But, holy shit. We had no idea....
Thomas Howard Likes To Feel Pretty Every Now And Then
"Just finished getting a pedicure. Its been a while since I've had one. It was relaxing for a while there, I even dozed off for a minute." [Twitter via reader Tom]...
There Are So Many Ways To Make Your Leg Turn Purple
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....
Isiah Thomas Is Never Going Away
Rumor has it that Florida International wants to has hired organizational wunderkind Isiah Thomas to be their new head basketball coach. Unbelievable. I guess FIU doesn't have a history department. [ESPN]...
Revisiting Jeff Reed's Paper Towel Freakout: An Investigative Report
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, did they ever fix the towel dispenser that Jeff Reed broke?" That or you were thinking of pie. Quite often it's pie....
Surprise: "Giant Failure" Crew Being Investigated For Post-Loss Vandalism
You knew this couldn't possibly end well. Even though the cars in the stadium parking lot were already totaled, Big Blue Idiot fan "Justin" and his You Tube-loving cohorts might be in some trouble....
John Daly Gets All Smashy With Fan's Camera
What happens when you get close to John Daly with an item that isn't either donuts or booze; he destroys it. Here's Australian Open fan Brad Clegg and what used to be his camera....
Lendale White Suggests Panther Swipe
"If they want a nickname, I can nickname them: 'Identity and Theft,'" said White, who's successfully paired with the speedy rookie Chris Johnson this season. "...I was upset because I made that phrase up myself. I mean I made it up. I don't know about NFL Network and all those other guys. I heard so...
Steroids Still Working For Shawne Merriman
Tonight, we assume you are being good Americans and going out on the town to spend, therefore fortifying our flagging economy. However, if you are one of those recluses who spend your Friday night at home getting stoned and watching Animal Planet — and by "Animal Planet," we mean "reruns of Mad Mone...