masters Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Un-Fucking-Real
He was finished. He was disgraced, hobbled, and eaten alive by the ravages of both fame and time. His story was over; it was simply a matter how clumsily it would end and how long it would take for that end to finally arrive....
Tiger Woods Just Won The Fucking Masters
The illustrious green jacket is back on the shoulders of Tiger Woods for the first time since 2005. After battling the likes of Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Xander Schauffele all day, Woods won the whole damn thing with a score of -13. As if everything that had been building to this moment wasn...
Bryson DeChambeau Foiled By Dumbass Stupid Flagstick And Dumbass Stupid Hole
Bryson DeChambeau leads the field after shooting six under par in the opening round of The Masters. Despite this, he has as much reason as anybody to feel bitter about how the course treated him on Thursday....
90-Year-Old Cyclist Stripped Of World Record After Failing Anti-Doping Test
Last July, 90-year-old cyclist Carl Grove was the lone competitor in his age group at the U.S. Masters Track Championships, where he set an age-group world record in the individual pursuit with a time of 3:06:129. Sadly, Grove subsequently popped a positive for the banned steroid epitrenbolone in a ...
Roger Federer Put This Serve Directly Into The Garbage Can
Roger Federer has cut an unusual path into the fourth round at Paris: he played just two sets of tennis to get there. He had a first-round bye, then second-round opponent Milos Raonic withdrew from the tournament, and then he defeated the sleepy pirate Fabio Fognini, 6-4, 6-3. So all of a sudden, a ...
Novak Djokovic Is On A Blistering Tear
At Wimbledon, Novak Djokovic reascended, and he’s more or less stayed there ever since. It took awhile to fully jar himself out of his blue period, but the Serb is back to dominating in all in the old ways, barely leaving so much as a scrap for anyone else. When Novak Djokovic is in full flow, he ta...
Roger Federer Literally Couldn't Hit This Ball
Today at the Shanghai Masters, Roger Federer played his first match since he left the U.S. Open looking like he’d fallen in the pool. Federer barely survived a sharp Daniil Medvedev to win 6-4, 4-6, 6-4, but the Russian, who ripped through seven wins last week to qualify and win Tokyo, made the shot...
Nick Kyrgios Is Just Another Grump Railing At The Umpire Now
Nick Kyrgios is no longer playing well or amusingly enough to justify the usual apologist disclaimer, so let’s just get to the point. On Monday at the Shanghai Masters, where he has tanked for two years running, he once again flirted with nihilism as he lost to world No. 104 Bradley Klahn, 4-6, 6-4,...
Every Promising Tennis Player Must Own Tomas Berdych At Some Point<em></em>
At this point in time, Tomas Berdych is more useful as a benchmark for the progress of young people than as a tennis player unto himself. This is a little cruel, maybe, but it is not wrong....
Rafael Nadal Eats Clay Three Square Meals A Day And Also Has It For Dessert
Does Rafael Nadal live in clay? He may. Is it where he likes to play? Yea—he has owned it for his entire career, and that dominance was made even clearer two weeks ago when he finally took the record for most consecutive sets won on clay. Today he claimed his 21st straight victim on the red stuff, a...
Rafael Nadal Catches Shit For Supporting Rival Soccer Clubs
Rafael Nadal is roughly midway through his clay-court rampage, having lengthened his consecutive set streak to a record 46, and just had some time off between tournaments in Barcelona and Madrid. He spent some of that precious downtime watching soccer, which he loves deeply....
Rafa Is About To Do This All Over Again, Isn't He?
Enter Dominic Thiem, the dull boy who is good on dirt. For all his fits elsewhere, the Austrian has mastered clay, a surface that slows things down enough for his deep court positioning, thumping strokes, and one-track mind. He’s the only player who can justifiably hold any ember of hope when facing...
It's Impossible To Take A Bad Photo At The Monte Carlo Masters<em></em>
Novak Djokovic lost today to Dominic Thiem. It went three sets. Nice match. Wouldn’t have been able to pay much attention had I watched it from the stands. The Monte Carlo Masters is the prettiest sporting event on Earth: rich clay, clean skies, jewel seas. Take in this visual feast prepared by Gett...
Novak Djokovic Is Alive Again
If the 2017 season marked the sudden, vague decline of Novak Djokovic, the early 2018 season was him bottoming out. He showed up in Monte Carlo this week with a 3-3 record, having not won a match since January. In March, he lost two straight matches. He hadn’t even lost two—let alone three—matches i...
Tony Finau Played The Entire Masters On This Gross, Fucked-Up Ankle
Tony Finau’s first Masters looked like it would derail in tragicomic fashion before it even started, as the golfer fucked up his ankle in the Par-3 competition while celebrating a hole-in-one. Miraculously, Finau was able to still play and finished tied for 10th place with a 7 under on the tourname...
Bubba Watson Sends Eagle Putt Directly Into The Bunker
Owing to the insane three-day brilliance of leader Patrick Reed, Bubba Watson’s perfectly respectable six-under headed into Sunday at the Masters put him nowhere close to contending for the lead in the final round. An early eagle certainly wouldn’t have hurt the cause! I bring that up because Watson...
Report: Dumb Beer Ad Phrase Not Specifically Banned From The Masters
The dumb beer ad phrase, a corporate slogan the utterance of which will for sure get you kicked out of my household, even if you are my own mother, may not have actually been banned at this year’s Masters, according to an investigation by Dan Wetzel and Jay Busbee of Yahoo Sports:...
Tony Finau And His Bum Ankle Finish 4 Under, Near Top Of First-Round Leaderboard
Yesterday, Tony Finau’s first time at Augusta looked like it might be over before it even got a chance to start; today, he’s sitting pretty in second place after one of the best Masters debuts in a decade....
Sergio Garcia Does The Thing From That Golf Movie, Hits Five Straight Shots Into The Water On One Hole
This is almost as excruciating to watch as Tony Finau’s ankle popping out. Defending Masters champ Sergio Garcia handled the opening round’s par-5 15th hole by putting five consecutive balls into the damn water. He finished with a 13, which ties him with Tommy Nakajima and Tom Weiskopf for the highe...
Tony Finau Fucked Up His Ankle While Celebrating A Hole-In-One At The Masters Par-3 Contest
Tony Finau, ranked No. 34 in the world, showed out at the Masters Par-3 contest with a very slick hole-in-one, which he immediately followed up by suffering some sort of gross-looking ankle injury while celebrating. ...