mb Page 402 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"We're On A Fucking Roll, Dude": The 1993 Profile Of Lenny Dykstra That Warned Us What Was Coming
Originally published as "Lips Gets Smacked" in the January 1993 issue of Philadelphia Magazine and later anthologized in The Best American Sports Writing 1994. Reprinted here with the author's permission and his addendum at bottom....

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....

Mysterious Blackjack Savant Single-Handedly Busts Tropicana Casino
The New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement yesterday reported April revenue for casinos in Atlantic City. The numbers, down across the board, are disheartening for the second-biggest gambling market in the country. Heartening for the rest of the world, however, is that the Tropicana Casino and Re...

All Aboard The Bandwagon: Tampa Bay Writer Decides, On The Verge Of Conference Finals, That He Is A Hockey Fan
St. Pete Times writer Ben Montgomery has watched a grand total of seven Lightning games in his life, and they happen to be the most recent seven. The Lightning won all seven of those games. That's the kind of thing that makes one a hockey fan for life, right?...

Fashion Has Swallowed Tom Brady And It Won't Let Him Go
Rakish. Jaunty. And, it covers the hair....

Your Official Deadspin Kentucky Derby Picks
I like Archarcharch (based on that stretch-running 98 Beyer fig in the Arkansas Derby) and Mucho Macho Man (who finished third in the Louisiana Derby despite leaving his shoe at the gate), and I'll box them in the exacta with Shackleford (who ran a smart second in the Florida Derby)....

Alejandro Bedoya Does The Bernie After Scoring A Nice Goal In Sweden
American international Alejandro Bedoya has been bagging goals for his Swedish team Orebro. He's also importing some American low-culture to Scandinavia. Here he is doing The Bernie, which in case you weren't already aware was inspired by the dead guy in "Weekend at Bernie's" and resembles The Dou...

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

And Now A Picture Of The Worst Custom Heat Jersey Ever Made
In honor of the Heat/Celtics series, this guy has made a video of how to wash your car and clean your ceiling fan with a Paul Pierce jersey. And he did it all while wearing this obnoxious custom-made Big Three jersey....

Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....

It's Only A Matter Of Time Before An NFL Team's Financials Are Leaked
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Joba Chamberlain Will Protect His PlateYou Can Now Watch Joba Protect His Plate At The Official Website Of Major League Baseball
The Yankees came from behind to beat the Orioles 6-5 in ten innings of play last night. Joe Girardi called this play "the difference in the game."...

We Would Like Stories Of Your Gambling Travails, Please
From time to time, you gamble, and we write about it in a column called Bad Beats. Of course, there are no Bad Beats without your Bad Beats, so please, we beg you, send us any gambling stories you normally consider appropriate only for the company of drunken assholes....

Soccer Fans In Portland Behave Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
Look at all these throaty buggers backing MLS's new team — the Portland Timbers. The Timbers made their home debut last night. Portland fans got to sing the national anthem. So what if the Star Spangled Banner is the only song most Americans have at least some handle on that's not Top 40 dreck? (P...

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

Wally Backman Verbally Assaults His Team, Part 158
Wally's back, thanks to the creators of Playing For Peanuts, who sent over this clip of the former Mets player (then manager of the South Georgia Peanuts, currently manager of the Binghamton Mets) sharing his thoughts with his team after a loss. One thing we've certainly learned this week: Wally l...

Will Sheridan, Former Villanova F, Has Made A Fairly Strange Music Video
Will Sheridan played for Villanova from 2003-07, or what we call the Allan Ray Heyday....

<em>SonicsGate</em> Creator Just Wants An Unmolested Trip To Costco, A Basketball Team In Seattle
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Seattle still wants an NBA team, Mr. Schultz....

Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...