mb Page 412 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Slightly Racist, Probably Untrue British Tabloid Story Of The Day
South Africa's gamblers are supposedly smoking vulture brains, because it'll help them see the outcomes of games before they happen. I heard the English are eating blood pudding, and they still can't see their elimination in the round of 16 coming. [Metro]...

Blood Writes: "Cow crushed my thumb" (WARNING: STUPENDOUSLY GROSS)
About two months ago I was working at one of the farms at Ohio State and a cow went bat shit crazy crashing through one of the gates....

Colombia Robbed By “Scantily Clad Girls” At World Cup Hotel
Probably not the headline Danny Jordaan, head of South Africa's World Cup bid, wants to be reading over his Corn Flakes just two weeks before the tournament starts. ...

Softball Conference Champs Just Want To Dance It Out (WINNER'S UPDATE)
Fresh off winning an Atlantic Sun conference championship, the Lipscomb Lady Bisons debuted a coordinated dance routine. Unfortunately, it brought them neither the replenishing rains that would ensure a bountiful harvest nor a Women's College World Series title....

Tim Donaghy's Bad Beat Of The Week: An Ice-Bucket Night In Miami
A weekly feature in which Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, tells us a sad gambling story. The standard caveats apply....

Sign Up For The Deadspin Facebook Group Now And Receive Another Celebrity Phone Number
Who will it be this week? An ex-athlete? A porn star? A former comedian now better known for doing voiceovers in cartoons? A former bass player for Quiet Riot? Sign up for the Deadspin Facebook group and find out!...

Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....

Seattleites Find Bango The Buck's Ladder Stunt A Bit Derivative
Two-plus years ago, Squatch, ex-Seattle Supersonics mascot, pulled off the same stunt that has made Bango the Buck a minor celebrity — off an even-higher ladder. It's so like Seattle to point out they've been doing something longer....

Easy Money: Bet On Whoever's Playing The Pirates
It's been said that you should never bet on your favorite team; you're just setting yourself up for double heartbreak. Well, one Pirates fan has concocted a fascinating experiment/get-rich-quick scheme: he's betting against the Bucs in every game this season....

Soccer Player Screws Up Royally, Joins Group Of Elite Soccer Royal Screwer-Uppers
Kansas City BulletsWizards striker Kei Kamara had an early opportunity in a recent match against the LA Galaxy and proceeded to fall on his ass and get called for a handball. Anything for a laugh....

Because Prime Time Is Where The Motherfucking Draft Belongs. Your 2010 NFL Draft Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 782
"If I'm going to be the biggest bust, I have to own up to it. I used to go to bed at night hoping somebody else like Heath Shuler might magically leapfrog me on those all-time bust lists."[LAT]...

So It's Come To This: Betting Scandal Hits Professional Gaming
Professional StarCraft is serious business in South Korea, and match-fixing allegations have local media comparing it to the Black Sox Scandal. And this is Korea, where they know baseball. So that's not just uninformed hyperbole....

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See that little box on the left hand side of the masthead that says "Join"? If you click that, you'll get a daily splash of Deadspin's top stories, now in an email form....

Mysterious Laugher Does Not Sympathize With Chan Ho Park's Stomach Ailments (UPDATE)
Chan Ho Park recently gave his reason for being slightly worse than usual: a bout of diarrhea. This admission (repeated several times) drew gales of laughter (also repeated) from an unseen source. Who is this secret gut-bustee? A Parenthood fan? [ZonerSports.com]...

After Attempted Combine Prayer, Tebow Told To "Shut The Fuck Up"
Tebow reportedly requested the room bow their heads in prayer before the Wonderlic. Another player reportedly told him to "shut the fuck up." The nation reportedly offers a brofist. [PFT]...

Now Is The Time To Invest In Indian Cricket
Screw the worldwide economic meltdown! The Indian Premier League is expanding and two owners just paid $700 million for the right to buy in—or more than it would have cost to buy the entire league two years ago....

New Orleans Rebuilding Effort Costs 1,200 Saints Fans Their Season Tickets
The Saints are tearing out three sections of Superdome seats—displacing many season ticket holders—so they can turn their old press box into luxury suites. You're welcome, New Orleans. [WWLTV/PFT]...

Maria Sharapova Or Nicole Vaidisova Would Like To Help You With Your Small Penis
Copyranter found another "penis embiggening" web ad that (without her permission, most likely) uses the other blondtennis star RussianCzech tennis player to sell its magic girth pills. [Update: Fixed.][Copyranter]...

Ducks 911 Call: 'M-A-S-O-L-I, Like The Football Player'
The best part about Oregon's Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry pleading guilty to second-degree burglary is that police can officially release the 911 call. Here it is, and it's excellent....