mb Page 411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ochocinco. Gambling. In His Briefs. Sure, Why Not.
Chad appears to be having a grand old time in Vegas. Just don't ask where he keeps his roll of quarters. [Twitter]...

Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Jordan Vandenberg, North Carolina State
From a reader: This was written by a basketball student in my freshman business class at North Carolina State University. The assignment was to write about two events that we were required to attend to meet a global learning requirement....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova (UPDATE)
"This was a webpage one of our basketball players had to make for a computer science course. Not an essay exactly, but definitely an excellent depiction of our student-athlete intelligence level." (Other students claim this is a fake, btw.)...

Save The Endangered Canadian Beer Snake
The Winnipeg Blue Bombers are considering banning the age-old Canadian pastime of stacking beer cups, after spectators were "slightly injured" during this record-breaking attempt last week. Aw, but it almost reached the 55-yard line! [CBC]...

The Search For America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Starts Now
We all know that many of today's student-athletes at universities across the country do very little work inside the classroom. This series will showcase how ridiculously bare the bare minimum can be....

Guy In Charge Of Policing ESPN's Ethics Completely Ignores LeBron Debacle
As ESPN ombudsman, Don Ohlmeyer is tasked with examining any professional questions or conflicts of interest raised by the network's coverage of sports and sports news. So naturally, this month's column, posted today, is about vuvuzelas....

Forget About LeBronukkah With This Mindblowing Stop-Motion History Of Evolution
Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all with some fine stop-motion animatin'. It features a prokaryote doing a one-hour special called "The Decision." [CultureLab]...

They Don't Call Floyd Mayweather "Money" For Nothing
"Just gambling a bit," Mayweather Tweeted not 10 minutes ago. I'm not saying anyone should rob Floyd Mayweather. I'm just saying, now's probably a pretty good time to do it....

What Has Two Middle Fingers And Loves College Baseball?
Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: The Man Who Feasted On John Isner's Dessicated Corpse
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like unseeded Thiemo De Bakker, who was granted a rare Wimbledon bye by being matched up with the injured, exhausted Isner....

BREAKING: Brit Newspaper Reports Maria Sharapova's Left Haunch Appeared At Wimbledon
She won her match 6-1, 6-4 over a Romanian woman called Raluca Olaru, who, according to the paper, did not show her fanny. [DailyMail]...

Wimbledon Live Blog Devolves Into Poetry And Madness
Xan Brooks is an editor for The Guardian who was tasked with what would appear to be a pleasant two-week assignment: Live blogging Wimbledon. Then Isner-Mahut happened. Come join him on his descent into hell....

How Should We Resolve The Isner-Mahut Stalemate?
If there's one thing we learned today, it's this: John Isner and Nicolas Mahut have exactly the same amount of tennis skill. But that still doesn't solve the problem of how to end their ridiculous grudge match....

The Longest Tennis Match Ever Is Happening Right Now (Update: Suspended For Darkness)
John Isner and Nicolas Mahut are currently mired in a fifth-set 46-46 tie; the match is in its seventh hour. ESPN2 just cut back to the World Cup. Follow the action at SBNation or the Guardian's liveblog. Or turn on ESPNU....

James Blake Calls Pam Shriver An Ass — During Play
Blake didn't take kindly to ESPN's sideline reporter analyzing his poor play within earshot. So he shared a few thoughts of his own with her....

Deadspin's Busty 2010 Wimbledon Preview
Yes, we know Wimbledon started yesterday. Did you? Honestly — did you? It doesn't get really interesting until Thursday, anyway, so, shhh. Here's Deadspin's tennis correspondent, the deuce-dropper himself, Dylan Stableford, to let you know what is the what....

Federer On Brink Of Bad Kind Of History
Roger Federer dropped his first two sets to something called Alejandro Falla, the 60th ranked player on the tour. Whether it's an epic upset, or an epic comeback, it's worth watching. (UPDATE: Federer won. Of course he did.) [Wimbledon, ESPN2]...

Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time
Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk....