me Page 5856 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
I Want You To Hurt Like I Do
I love it when a team says that they have released a player "by mutual agreement." That usually means that the team says: "We're not going to start you anytime in the near future, and if you don't like it, then $#%! you." And the player responds: "&%$! me? No, &%$! you!" Various doors are then slamm...
Everyone In Boston Is Already Drunk
We're not enough of a Bostonite to understand that full drunken social significance of Patriots Day, but we assume we'll have a smaller Boston readership today; they're all out drinking like crazy and screaming for Kenyans to run faster. Difficult to argue with that....
We Were Told There Would Be Beer And Pretzels
The NHL Closer is written by five complete psychopaths from Melt Your Face-Off. If you prick us, do we not bleed? If the voices in our head speak to us, do we not answer? If you puts boobs on our closers, do we not click through the jump?...
You Know It's Baseball Season When Fat Yanks-Red Sox Fans Are Killing Each Other
Last week, the Red Sox and Yankees battled it out at Yankee Stadium. You might have heard about it. But we just today saw this shot above and, more to the point, the rather amazing video after the jump of a real, live Yankees-Red Sox fan fight....
Pistons Eat Jerseys, Choke On Game
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's in bed smoking a cigarette after a fulfilling weekend of playoff action. When he's not replaying the events over and over in his head, you can find him basking in the afterglow at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Memo to the Pistons: You might wanna take these gu...
About Last Night
What you missed while judging coffee-flavored beer ... • NBA: Pau! Right in the kisser ... Gasol's 36 lead Lakers over Nuggets in Game 1. • NHL: Duck Soup ... Dallas moves on to second round after 4-1 win over Anaheim. • MLB: Like zombies and Hillary Clinton, Red Sox simply will not stay buried....
Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer
Kosuke Fukudome sure has been a nice investment for the Chicago Cubs, hasn't it? And the cultural movement has swept up the north side of Chicago. The transition from Japan to America has been almost seamless (.317 average, .442 on-base percentage) for him, but the fans haven't quite gotten it down ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while making your girlfriend more realistic... • 6:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: 76ers at Pistons, Game 1. 8:30 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Hawks at Celtics, Game 1. Known to the highbrow basketball fans as the weekend's denouement. [TNT] • 8:00 p.m. — MLB: Mets at Phillies. Everything New York wan...
Free Darko On Detroit-Philadelphia
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief....
White On Black Violence
• Joe Calzaghe beat up Bernard Hopkins last night. [Ring Report] • Sal Paolantonio disses San Francisco defensive backs. [Niners Nation] • Happy Birthday, Mr. Smoot. [Mister Irrelevant] • The Minnesota Wild-Colorado Avalanche playoff game on Versus was bumped in upstate New York by an infomercial fo...
ESPN Wants You To Write Their Eulogy
Picture, in your mind, a world without ESPN. No SportsCenter. No scrolling tickers. No Skip Bayless. Frightening, yes, but we're all adults here, and nothing created out of one's imagination is lethal. Now, take those feelings, and put them into words. Now send them to ESPN, because they'd like to c...
The Hardy Boys Presents: The Missing Alcoholic Content
Reason #267 why San Diego is not in the running to host a Deadspin Pants Party: Their stadium beer doesn't get you drunk enough. A San Diego Union-Tribune EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION revealed that the $8.50 cup of beer — be it Budweiser, Miller, or Miller Lite ... Budweiser!, Miller! Millerliiii-ite ......
"The Red Sword" Didn't Have The Same Kick
Since we're working under a closer-based economy, a lot of stuff is already in progress, so let's not dilly dally. Okay, a little bit of sloth is in order. After all, it is Sunday, and I'm by no means a slave driver. As everyone knows, the slaves drive me! Ah, plantation humor. Oh, crud, there go my...
Getting Shut Out? It's The Latest Fad
Pick up a Tamagotchi and drink your Surge! Join in what everyone else is doing. C'mon, it's fun to lose a little bit of your individuality when, in return, you get a false sense of having a wealth of friends with one shared interest! What did you download from Napster last night? Me, I got the new L...
Free Darko On Toronto-Orlando
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Toronto Raptors-Orlando Magic series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief....
Tim Duncan: Awesomming From Everywhere (Even Three-Point Range)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's freaking excited about the freaking playoffs. So if you hear about him doing anything else at any time, it wasn't really him. Unless he's talking about beersomnia and bad movies at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Tim Duncan was legen...wait for it...dary. Timm...
Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...