men Page 248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Boogie Cousins And John Wall Put On A Show; Some Team Also Won I Guess
A point guard and a center generally can't duel in the way we usually think of players dueling—directly, one-on-one, attacking each other at both ends. Apart from the occasional defensive switch or confrontation at the rim, they'll mostly compete from a distance, and indirectly, via their teams an...
Report: OSU Women's Hockey Coach Told Players To "Get Horny" For Puck
Nate Handrahan resigned Monday after four seasons as Ohio State's women's hockey coach. Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith and human resources director for athletics Kim Heaton received a report that day detailing Handrahan's inappropriate conduct towards players, including his use of telling t...
USWNT Striker Christen Press Is Way Too Fast
Like, those six players the USWNT's Christen Press runs past aren't scrubs. That's France, one of the best national teams in the world. And even they can't keep up with Press as, with two wicked bursts, she flies past them like they're stuck in quicksand before passing the ball into the back of th...
Cortland Finnegan Retires, Remains In Denial About Time He Got Beat Up
Cortland Finnegan—the long-time Titan cornerback who is better known as the NFL's biggest asshole—took to Instagram today to announce his retirement. In a statement that covers his love of the game, his appreciation at having played, and his excitement about his future, he reveals that is apparent...
Massive Brawl At Women's Basketball Game Results In 15 Suspensions
The Texas Southern and Southern University women's basketball teams brawled during a game on Saturday night, resulting in a double forfeit of the game and 15 suspensions. Yesterday, video of the brawl was posted by the The Advocate, and Texas Southern announced that it was withdrawing the women's ...
Drink The Kool-Aid: Why True/False Is Our Best Little Film Festival
Film festivals are weird things. If you love movies and have dreamed of going to, say, Cannes or Sundance, you might have this romantic vision of watching dozens of movies amid happy, goodhearted souls who share your abiding passion for film. The reality is, you'll meet some of those people at...
Deadcast: Is Ernie Banks’ Body Being Hidden In Washington, D.C.?
Since Chicago Cubs legend Ernie Banks died over a month ago, his surviving family members have been engaged in a blood feud with Banks's former mistress over both Banks's remaining assets (rumored to be valued at a mere $16,000) and his remains, the location of which are at present unknown. Even th...
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
Rae Sremmurd Are Human Adderall
If you're like me, you didn't immediately get Rae Sremmurd, because you have a 401k and your hangovers are starting to get worse and you're beginning to feel the oppressiveness of your own mortality. But the pop-rap duo is great and fun—likely created by producer Mike Will Made It in a chemistry-lab...
How To Pick The Perfect Engagement Ring Without Selling Your Kidneys
Shopping for an engagement ring has got to be one of the most angst-ridden things a grown-ass man can go through. Between worrying about the correct sizing, decoding the "one-sixth of your annual salary" thing, and, you know, trying to find a style that your soul mate will want to wear for the res...
Tommy Chong Didn't Teach Me Shit About Rolling A Joint
Tommy Chong's joint-rolling machine, the Chong Roller, produces a fine joint: cone-style, with a filter, and perfectly symmetrical. The end product is, indeed, quite a lovely thing....
VCU Fans Successfully Pull Off Fake Shot Clock Countdown
The fake shot clock countdown is a staple in college arenas across the country, but it only occasionally works. It's not too difficult for players to glance up at the big shot clock above each basket, and they're usually smart enough not to trust the opposing fans. I'm not positive the VCU fans tric...
Report: Miserable Old Man Michael Jordan Wants A Private Golf Course
According to a report from Golf.com, Michael Jordan, who has now apparently reached the Old-Man-Potter stage of his life, is considering building his very own golf course in Florida because the country club that he frequents is no longer living up to his standards....
Whatever Happened To The NFL Combine's Fastest Man?
Rondel Menendez wants to play. It's Sept. 3, 1999, and the Atlanta Falcons are playing their final preseason game, against the Cincinnati Bengals. It's the last opportunity for players on the bubble to earn a place on the roster. Menendez has already done enough to show he's one of Atlanta's 53 best...
Work Hard, Blot: Lipstick And The Fifth-Fastest Indoor Mile Ever
Dammit people, put down the fatty and pay attention to women's middle distance track. U.S. women are killing it on a global scale. Take Shannon Rowbury, above: Already a two-time Olympian and lotta-time World Championship finalist, she broke from the gate this year and laid down a 4:22.66 mile at ...
Please Don’t Post Open-Casket Photos On Facebook
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're fouling out, sleeping in, talking jarred fetuses, and more....
Goodbye To Old-Ass Jason Giambi, Who Refused To Go Down A Villain
Jason Giambi is retiring. At age 44, the slugger announced yesterday that his gradual disappearance from the game—one that began all the way back in 2009, when Giambi remade himself into a grizzled pinch-hitter and nominal player-coach—has reached its terminus. His career probably should have ende...
Did This Comments Section Nostradamus Predict The Warriors' Season?
Most internet commenters are dumb, and you're better off never venturing into the comments section. A lot of the Deadspin staff subscribes to the Cigarette Theory of internet comments, which states that reading an internet comment is akin to smoking a cigarette. It's fine if you do so sparingly, but...