miami-dolphins Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Writing Up "Assault" In Joey Porter's Contract Was A Grand Idea
You might have thought Joey Porter punching guys in a Vegas hotel would be bad for his team. (Or calling opposing players "fags." Or attacking you with his dogs. Or pretty much anything else Joey Porter does.)...
We'd Recommend Not Playing Blackjack With Joey Porter
When you put Joey Porter in the same room with a Cincinnati Bengal, in Las Vegas, no less, this is probably destined to happen...
Nick Saban's Odd Way Of Bonding With Reporters
Curious how new Alabama coach Nick Saban could possibly become less popular? (Well, other than screaming "Roll Tide!" while having sex with two strippers.) Well, check out this audio from an "off-the-record" chat with reporters about the whirlwind of Saban hate coming out of Miami right now....
And Nick Saban is....Heading to Tuscaloosa
Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban has decided to walk away from the pro game and head to the University of Alabama . Saban, who was offered somewhere in the ballpark of a 25 year, $98 kajillion deal from the Crimson Tide, will no longer be part of the Miami Dolphins rejuvenation program....
Alabama Just Won't Give Up On The Nick Saban Thing
Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban could be the recipient of a $40 million offer, including $7 million in a signing bonus, from Alabama. That's what the Miami Herald was reporting last night on their website. The offer would make him the highest-paid college coach in the history of the world, an...
New Mexico's Quest For Newer, More Fertile Land
You know, we're starting to think that perhaps the Mexico family has some issues....
NFL Roundup: Bears Down!
• Hey, so what did happen to the Bears yesterday? We know they had trouble handling the Buzzsaw, but hey, who doesn't? Losing at home to the Dolphins is not the type of thing that's gonna make people feel all that positively about an all-Midwest Super Bowl. Wasn't Rex Grossman good at the beginnin...
A Man Like This Has No Business On A "Practice Squad"
Guess who's back everybody!...
An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....
Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....
It's About Damned Time Charlie Batch Got Some National TV Exposure
You know the NFL season is upon us when Charlie Batch fastens his chinstrap and storms onto the field. It's really what the league's all about, no?...
NFL Pants Party: AFC East
Personally, we think the AFC East would be a lot more fun to make predictions for if Troy Brown had to play quarterback for the Patriots every game. Oh, and is Culpepper organizing the rookie party for the Dolphins this year?...
NFL Season Preview: Miami Dolphins
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
We Don't Know How Hootie Didn't Sneak In This Video
We couldn't decide which dopey fan cheer song we were going to go with today: This brand new Reds one or the above Dolphins video from the early '90s. We decided to go with the Dolphins one, if just because we figured we'd look bitter and/or scared if we just focused on the Reds....
Dolphins Not Liable For Future Damages, So You Know
We don't mean to imply that the Miami Dolphins are covering their tailfeathers a bit with Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, whom they just signed to a free agent contract, but here's what was included in the official press release about the signing....
Where In NYC Is Ricky Williams?
Somewhere in New York City right now, Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams is in an office building, appealing his suspension for drug abuse. (Hey ... we're in New York! Is that Ricky over there?) Apparently, they moved the location of the hearing to avoid all the reporters camped out in fro...
Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...
What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spu...
Culpepper To Spend Plenty Of Time Near Water
The Orlando Sentinel and FOX Sports are reporting that the trade is official: Daunte Culpepper has been traded to the Miami Dolphins....
Williams' Career May Have Gone Up In Smoke
Ricky Williams' 2006-07 season has apparently ended before it began, as Denver TV station KDVR reported late Sunday that the Dolphins running back has either failed another drug test, or failed to show up for one. Either would be a violation serious enough for the running back, who has been suspen...