michael Page 111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......

Mike Vick To The Eagles
That's two deceptively immobile black QBs in Philly. The Iggles inked Vick to a two year deal, which begs the question: were they bidding against themselves? Your resident Eagles homer will be along shortly with measured, reasonable analysis. [ESPN]...

Internet Paralyzed By Michael Vick To Buffalo Rumors
Have you heard?! Michael Vick and Tony Dungy are in Buffalo right now signing an eighteen-year deal worth $4 billion. Or maybe he's not in New York State at all? Maybe you're the one who's like....trapped in Buffalo, man!...

What Does The NFL Shop Know That We Don't?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Vick Speaks To James Brown
Michael Vick has recorded his first post-jail interview with James Brown and it will air on "60 Minutes" this Sunday. (As heard on "The Leitch/Daulerio FunTime Hour"!) Perfect for family dinner-time viewing. [CBS]...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....

If Mike Vick Is Repentant, He'll Never Tell
Michael Vick made an appearance at a Humane Society event yesterday, but don't expect to hear an inspiring message of redemption. Don't expect to hear it at all. Vick's talk wasn't for the community: it was for his own gain....

Michael Crabtree's Adviser Has Quite The Shady History
Remember when we said Michael Crabtree shouldn't be listening to his cousin? He might not be the best guy to get advice from. When the local alt-weekly has done a 5000-word investigative piece on you, you're probably not squeaky clean....

Michael Crabtree Should Not Listen To His "Advisers"
The people looking out for Michael Crabtree's best interests say that Michael is prepared to hold out for the entire 2009 season and re-enter the draft because in reality, they don't give a crap about Michael Crabtree's interests....

MLB Gives Topps Dominion Over All Baseball Cards
Bud Selig's army has signed an exclusive deal with Topps, making them the official baseball card of Major League Baseball. No, this does not make your 16 Ken Griffey Jr. rookie cards valuable again....

Sandra Bullock Will Ride Michael Oher To Oscar Glory
For those in the dark, this is the movie version of Michael Lewis' book about Baltimore's No. 1 draft pick Michael Oher, a hulking black kid who was taken into the loving embrace of a lily white family in rural Mississippi after they found him bleeding and hungry on the side of the road. The fact th...

Terrible Ratings Won't Stop Onslaught Of Sports Reality Shows
There have been a lot of sports-themed reality shows on TV lately—Superstars, Fourth and Long, The T.O. Show, etc.—and they all have two things in common. They are terrible and people hate them. So let's greenlight some more!...

Second Gatti Autopsy Doesn't Rule Out Homicide, According To "Celebrity Pathologist"
Arturo Gatti's body was exhumed Friday for a second autopsy, this time in Gatti's native Montreal and this time with the assistance of Michael Baden, a real-life forensic pathologist who also plays one on TV. Examiners found "some surprises," unsurprisingly....

Michael Vick Suggests 'Michael Vick Day,' Gets His Wish
Organizers are planning a family-oriented "celebration" of Michael Vick in his hometown. What could possibly go wrong?...

Michael Vick Is the Most Hated Person in Sports
Here is a list, based on an internet poll of people 13 and older, of the most disliked people in sports. It is mostly rapists, drug-users, dog-killers, and John McEnroe....

The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....

American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...

Odd Foreigner Chooses Fruity Little Tattoo Over Reebok Deal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...