michael Page 112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Swimming Records Made To Never Be Broken
Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair....
That's 28 Games In Dog Years
ESPN gets back to doing what they do best: breaking news. Michael Vick will reportedly be suspended for the first four games of 2009. [ESPN]...
Mike Vick Has Needs That Prison Couldn't Satisfy
What's the first thing Vick did after being released from prison? Hit a strip club with Allen Iverson on amateur night, of course. Being a free man ain't cheap. [TBL]...
The (Mobile) Internet Is For Porn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....
Michael Vick's Next Magical Kingdom
Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far away, he spent 21 months in prison. Now, he might train for an NFL return at Disney's Wide World of Sports. In Disney World! Everyone's about to live happily ever after. [Sentinel]...
Michael Vick Is Free!
The ankle bracelet is off, folks! Having served his debt to society—give or take a few years of probation—Michael Vick is officially a free man. As long as your definition of "free" does not include playing football professionally....
And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....
![You Knew You Could Count On Shaq For A Micheal Jackson [<i>Sic</i>] Tribute](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Sandwich Salesman Breaks World Record, Consummates Stalkerish Relationship
Michael Phelps claims one of the few records he doesn't already own, breaking Ian Crocker's mark in the 100-meter butterfly. "Phelps taped Crocker's picture on his bedroom wall for motivation six years ago, after Crocker set the record." [WaPo]...
That Last Name Never Gets Easier To Spell
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Somehow, Michael Jackson Was Partly Responsible For Magic Johnson's Greatness
I applaud Magic Johnson's ability to personalize it: "the way he controlled the band...the stage." But I'm sure he'd use the same approach if he were eulogizing a painter or a vacuum cleaner repairman. [Gawker]...
Michael Phelps Makes America Safe For Weed
Congratulations, dope heads! Your groovy hero has bonged his way into America's heart and now you're free to toke up wherever and whenever you see fit. Enjoy your reefer, hippies, and be sure to thank Michael Phelps when you do....
Off The Wall, Indeed: Ron Artest Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson
"Michael, Michael, Michael, you my nigga. I know a thug would cry for you, my dude. Aint no R&B singer really ever makes me cry. Makes me wanna meet you, touch your hand. Ya know?" [YouTube]...
I Got Sol But I'm Not A Soldier
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Soderbergh's <i>Moneyball</i> Script Too Real To Get Made
The Sony Pictures executive who pulled the plug on Moneyball says that Steven Soderbergh changed the original script because he didn't want anything in the movie that didn't actually happen. So Billy Beane isn't a sweaty, foul-mouthed, Hooters waitress slayer?...
Which Sports Death Would Affect Us Like MJ's?
I was as surprised by the reaction to Michael Jackson's death as I was the death itself, though I shouldn't have been. Is there anyone in sports whose death we'd react to in a similar way?...
Which Athlete Reminds You Of Mitt Romney? The Kandi Man, Of Course
"I feel like Romney's having the same problems as [Michael Olowokandi]. On paper, he looks great, but there's just something about him that doesn't seem to add up in the minds of voters." Like every other failed prospect. [TNR]...
Sad About Michael Jackson's Death? Tack An Andre Rison Jersey To His Childhood Home
Yesterday, professional athletes and their Twitter universes reacted to Michael Jackson's death (some more than others), but this makeshift tribute at his childhood home in Gary, Indiana gives the tenuous sports-King Of Pop connection an absurd little twist....