minnesotatwins Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Craigslist Satisfies Your Minnesota Twins Jockstrap Fetish Needs
Someone claiming to be a Minnesota locker room attendant is offering jockstraps from "handsome players," including Joe Mauer and Kevin Slowey. For an extra few bucks, he won't throw in Ron Gardenhire's. [Craigslist]...
Win The Game, Carl Pavano's Gonna Fist Your Anus. That's Just The Way Life Goes.
Delmon Young's single capped a four-run ninth, and set off a celebration the likes of which his colon had never seen. Also, this is pretty much the perfect metaphor for what Carl Pavano did to the Yankees for four years....
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
MLB.com Has Their Dewey Defeats Truman Moment, Then Doesn't
For far too long yesterday (read: at all), MLB.com had a game story up about the Twins easily handling the Brewers, 6-2. Meanwhile, the actual game was still in extra innings, tied at 7....
Target Field's Urinal Problem
The early reviews for the Twins' new ballpark have been almost unanimous in their praise — almost. The lines outside the men's restrooms have been long, even longer than the women's. This makes no sense. We need answers....
Smoking Pot At Target Field Earns Man A Stern "Warning"
Target Field has not hosted an official Major League game yet, so people are probably wondering: What's the policy on lighting up homemade vegetable bongs in the stands? Early tests of the system suggest that Dave is not here, man....
Denard Span Smacks His Own Mother! (With A Foul Ball)
A woman wearing a Denard Span jersey is plunked by a line drive off the bat of Denard Span. What kind of person wears a Denard Span jersey to a spring training game? Yep, it was his mom. [LoHud]...
Minnesota Twins: R.I.P. Baseball Anomaly, And Competitive Advantage
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Minnesota Twins....
Joe Mauer's Imaginary Contract Has A Lot Of "I"s To Dot
Remember when Joe Mauer "agreed" to that 10-year contract over a month ago? Well, Mauer's agent plans to discuss the matter with Twins management very soon. Maybe. They're very close! (Yeah, they're not close.) [SN/Star-Tribune/NYT]...
Monster Dutch Reliever Hopes To Terrorize Twin Cities
The Twins have high hopes for Loek van Mil, a 7-foot-1 prospect from the Netherlands. Because betting on the freakishly tall foreigner has always worked out in other sports. [Pioneer Press]...
Pat Neshek Gets Horrible Fan Mail
Really, the shocking thing about this letter is not that it was sent — autograph hounds represent the lowest phylum of baseball fan — but that this Twins enthusiast didn't ask for Kent Hrbek, Tony Oliva, and Walter Johnson, too....
Last Night's Winner: Minnesotans
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Twins fans who locked up their franchise catcher for the next decade. It's not official, but what could possibly go wrong in the final seconds?...
Metrodome Bathroom Swallows Another Victim
The Metrodome will not let the Twins escape easily, even if it has to trap former Rookies of the Year inside its porcelain bowels for all eternity....
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...
Metrodome Memories Are A Little Pathetic
Since the Twins have a fancy new field, it was time to get rid of all the leftover stuff at the Metrodome. A phrase comes to mind: "And nothing of value was lost."...
Someone Just Blew This Guy's Mind
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Phil Cuzzi's Career Trajectory Not Exactly A String Of Successes
Phil Cuzzi was once fired as a minor league umpire, and later appealed to the league president while tending bar at a New Jersey hotel. Twins fans could still use a stiff drink. [Augusta Chronicle, via FanHouse]...
Does This Look Foul To You?
Good thing that Major League Baseball adds two extra umpires to cover those close plays down the line in the playoffs. That way no one will have any grounds to complain that a bad call completely ruined their season....
Twins Add One More Insult To Injury
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Nicaragua's About To Get Some New Tigers Gear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....