miss Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soccer Player Screws Up Royally, Joins Group Of Elite Soccer Royal Screwer-Uppers
Kansas City BulletsWizards striker Kei Kamara had an early opportunity in a recent match against the LA Galaxy and proceeded to fall on his ass and get called for a handball. Anything for a laugh....

Tigers Aplenty! Missouri-Clemson Open Thread (CLOSE GAME WATCH)
Both of these teams love to play fast and loose, and Clemson's Trevor Booker might be the best player on the court. However, the Big 12 was better this year and Mizzou is very well-rounded. Tigers by five....

Taiwanese CGI Geniuses Present: Ole Miss-Admiral Ackbar
The Nancy Grace Rule's reign of terror is over. The new cool way to measure a story's scope is Taiwanese CGI. Their reenactments of Tiger-Gate and the Late Night Wars were amazing but Admiral Ackbar-Ole Miss may be their masterpiece....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Miss Elizabeth, who died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....

Slightly Racist Mascot To Be Replaced With Cult Favorite Squid Monster From Space?
The campaign is underway to name Admiral Ackbar, of "It's a trap!" fame, the new mascot at Ole Miss. Assuming Ole Miss's endowment is enough to cover George Lucas's licensing fees. [AJC]...

Aggravated Assault? Needs More Cowbell
Mississippi State students can rest easy tonight, because police have finally located the man who brutally beat a fellow student at the Egg Bowl with, yes, a cowbell....

Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mississippi State Recruits Enjoy Ponies And/Or Strippers
It seems that quite a few high school football recruits made their campus visit to Mississippi State this weekend and a few mentioned enjoying something called "THE PONY." You don't think they're talking about Starkville's greatest strip club, do you?...

Missouri Basketball Players Say Cheerleader Beatdown Was Self-Defense
Twist! The two Lady Tiger hoops players accused of roughing up a male cheerleader say that they did get physical with him, but only after he G-O-T A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E with their other female friend....

Missouri Basketball Players (Who Are Women) Beat Up Cheerleader (Who Isn't)
Much like their Kansas brethren, Missouri's athletic department is being torn asunder by intra-sports team strife. Only it's not the teams you usually expect, since we're talking about women's basketball and cheerleading. These kids do not compromise....

Ole Miss KKK Protest Goes Swimmingly
"Swimmingly" means "completely embarrassing for white power morons," correct? Then yes, it went "swimmingly." The KKK's hour-long protest against tolerance and common sense lasted about 10 minutes before the hooded wonders were booed off Mississippi's campus....

Is Les Miles Lying Or Just Stupid?
"I don't know who called for the spike" is the new "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."...

Put On Your Whitest Whites: It's Klan Night In Oxford!
Booted from his fraternity, Michael Hudec will finally have an organization on campus that cottons to his beliefs. That's right: the KKK is coming to Ole Miss....

Michael Hudec: Idiot Now, Idiot Tomorrow, Idiot Forever
An Ole Miss frat has suspended two of its members — one of whom was probably Michael Hudec, noted expert on Southern iconography in post-Reconstruction Mississippi — and now no one will ever be racist again, the end. [Daily Mississippian]...

Poon For Everybody!
Missouri fans who made the trip to Manhattan, Kansas to watch their Tigers trash Kansas State 38-12 decided to honor the team's victory by holding up letters to spell out "POON." Although I'm a bit confused by the extraneous "O."...

Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
You got Tennessee-Ole Miss on CBS. Go forth and watch collegiate football. Drink beer if you wish. Try to avoid getting arrested....

The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....

The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...

Ole Miss Has A(nother) Sensitivity Problem
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Baseball Update!
Oh, shit, the Twins just scored four runs. And they look great in those throwbacks! Though honestly you see so many TC hats these days (even in New York!) that I'm seriously missing the lowercase M. Poor Greinke :(...