mlb Page 383 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fat Chipper Jones Has Divorced His Wife And Is Now Dating <em>Playboy</em> Model Taylor Higgins, AKA Lexi Ray
Leave it to those sleuths of scuzz over at Busted Coverage to make a find like this. Chipper Jones has retired, finalized his divorce from his second wife, and now appears to be dating Taylor Higgins, better known to the world as Lexi Ray or Lexi Ray Taylor, depending on when you might have been loo...

Jim "Jimbo" Leyland Was The Most Popular Boy At His High School 50 Years Ago
Jim Leyland held court for the media today at baseball's winter meetings, and by all indications, he put on quite a show. Craig Calcaterra over at Hardball Talk has all of the highlights—Leyland on the World Baseball Classic: "I support it because the Commissioner gets mad when I say I don't support...

A Guide To The Baseball Players On The Ballot Who Won't Make The Hall Of Fame
It's the silly season for baseball, as winter meetings and free agency combine with Hall of Fame debates to take up way too much of our free time. But this year's HOF ballot is especially fascinating—a crop of elite players tied to PED use are eligible for the first time, and will compete with some ...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

1 In 10 MLB Players Took Adderall This Season
As part of MLB's drug testing agreement, the program administrator released a public annual report on the findings from the past year. The latest just landed in our inbox. Let's explore!...

Derek Jeter: Fatty Fatty Boombalatty (Or Something)
That right there is Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter, fresh off the pancake buffet at a Miami hotel as he rehabs his surgically repaired ankle. Notice anything different? I mean, besides the layer after layer of disgusting subcutaneous fat, just bulging and drooping and oh god I'm going to be ill. Anywa...

St. Louis Columnist Determined To Uncover The Truth About David Freese's Car Crash
World Series hero David Freese had a car accident on Thanksgiving. He was driving his Range Rover in Wildwood, outside St. Louis, when a deer appeared ahead of him. Freese swerved to avoid it, lost control, and drove off the road an into a tree. At least, that's what they WANT you to think....

Yankee Fans Are Everywhere
While Notre Dame may be the original bandwagon team, it's tough to argue with the global force of the New York Yankees. Sports fans are likely to find Yankee gear anywhere in the world, as we spotted yesterday in Germany during a match between SC Freiburg and Bayern Munich....

Marvin Miller, The Man Who Beat Some Sense Into Baseball
He was in the phone book. That's the thing that always got me about Marvin Miller, the former head of the MLB players association and the man who pulled baseball out of its crude prehistory. You expect your heroes to be unlisted. You don't expect to find one of them in the white pages, right there b...
![Phillies Catcher Carlos Ruiz Tests Positive For Use Of An Amphetamine, Suspended 25 Games [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/186muzra5670ajpg.jpg)
Phillies Catcher Carlos Ruiz Tests Positive For Use Of An Amphetamine, Suspended 25 Games [UPDATED]
That's the word out of the MLB office this afternoon, according to a statement issued a few minutes ago. There's no indication what type of banned stimulant Chooch took, or when the test was taken. Jim Salisbury of CSN Philly just reported that it has to be a second positive test to merit a suspensi...

Drawn By The Scent Of Death And Decay, Coyotes Prowl Wrigley Field
Night. The pack slips silently out of the den, drawn by an unnameable urge deep in the midbrain. The streets are deserted, the twolegs having retreated to the safety of their dwellings. The world belongs to them now. The waxing moon rises above the low red brick houses of Wrigleyville. Light enough ...

News Corp Buys Into The YES Network, As The RSN Bubble Grows Closer To Bursting
What was rumored last week has been officially announced: News Corporation will purchase 49 percent of the YES Network, and become the single biggest shareholder in the single most lucrative regional sports network in the country....

The Marlins' Megadeal Could Be Good For Miami If Jeffrey Loria Didn't Exist
It took almost a week, but everyone's taken their physicals and the commissioner's office has signed off on the crazypants deal. Deep breath: The Marlins will receive Henderson Alvarez, Yunel Escobar, Adeiny Hechavarria, Jeff Mathis, Jake Marisnick, Anthony DeSclafani, and Justin Nicolino. The Blue ...

Orioles Prospect Needs To Find A New Superstition Now That Hostess Has Closed Up Shop
Orioles pitching prospect Kevin Gausman was drafted by the Baltimore Orioles, signed to a $4.23 million signing bonus and pitched 15 innings of professional baseball this year. Because baseball players are weirdos, Gausman must eat four powdered mini-doughnuts prior to each inning he pitches. Obviou...

The Marlins Specifically Promised Not To Trade Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle, Traded Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle
Need another reason to hate the Marlins? Let's add this to the list (there's seriously a list): not only did the Miami Marlins and their awful ownership trade away half the team—they did so despite promising at least two stars, who signed with the Marlins this summer hoping to stay in Miami for some...

Mayor Of Miami Writes Letter To Bud Selig Imploring Him To Stop The Marlins Trade
It's not just Marlins fans and baseball bloggers that are mad at Jeffrey Loria for gutting the Marlins roster yet again. Now the Mayor of Miami is lobbying for Bud Selig to prevent the Marlins from sticking the city of Miami with a brand new stadium that nobody wants to go to because the team's ros...

Photoshop Contest: Put Bud Selig's Blond Hair On Things
Selig stunned us with his glorious new mane at the owners meetings. It's almost unfair to keep it to himself. So please help us put Bud Selig's hair on other things: people, animals, amorphous concepts, Jeffrey Loria, whatever....

OK, What The Hell Is Up With Bud Selig's Hair?
Well hello there, who is that sexy septuagenarian—why, it's the commissioner of baseball, Allan H. "Bud" Selig!...

Melky Cabrera Is A Toronto Blue Jay, And No One Knows What Will Happen Next
How are we supposed to think about the reported two-year, $16 million contract the Toronto Blue Jays just gave 28-year-old Melky Cabrera, the Yankee-turned-Brave-turned-Royal-turned-Giant, the prospect-turned-fatass-turned-presumptive-batting-champion-turned-disgrace-turned-webmaster-turned-martyr-t...

Chipper Jones Has His Own Theories On JFK's Assassination
The recently retired Chipper Jones is an entertaining force on Twitter. Wednesday night, while watching Oliver Stone's JFK on Reelz (really, Chipper? Reelz?), Chipper decided to get the truth out about what really happened in the assassination of JFK. Wake the people up, Chipper!...