MLB Page 479 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

The Dodgers Are Concerned Enough About Fan Violence To Offer Half-Priced Booze At Six Upcoming Games
The Los Angeles Dodgers have talked a good game in returning their stadium to something that doesn't resemble a gangland Thunderdome where opposing fans get beaten into comas for no discernible reason....

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

Manny Ramirez Has Retired From Baseball After "An Issue" With Its Drug Program
Bill Shaikin of the Los Angeles Times reports that after the MLB alerted Tampa Bay's Manny Ramirez to "an issue" under its drug program, the two-time world champion chose to retire "rather than continue with the process." [@BillShaikin, ESPN]...

Bryce Harper Performs The Miracle Of Turning A Bunt Into A Single
The Chosen One made his Sally League debut yesterday in Rome, Ga. He had a couple singles but was denied two times. [WaPo, SweetSpot]...

College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....

Big Yankees Fan Offers A Rebecca Black Inspired Production Just In Time For the Red Sox Series
Michael Lapayower is very excited about tomorrow's Yankees game against their rivals, the 0-6 Boston Red Sox. Granted, LaPayower gets very excited about every Yankees game. He probably does the same on off days, even those in the offseason, just thinking about the Yankees....

If Boston Gets Swept By Cleveland Today, Red Sox Nation May Implode
The Red Sox, predicted by many to win it all this year, are still without a win five games into the season. Naturally, there's a discussion board up on the Globe website today titled "Panic Time?" Is it? Last night against Cleveland, Kevin Youkilis attempted to intentionally drop a line drive to tur...

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....

The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...

This Texas Rangers Broadcast Clip Will Someday Be Evidence In Divorce Proceedings
Fun stuff from tonight's Rangers-Mariners telecast—good, old-fashioned Texan chivalry....

Watch Andruw Jones Get Hit With A Bunch Of Onion Rings
Sweet justice for all those Braves and Dodgers fans who watched Jones pork up while on big contracts. And Jones says, "Sweet justice? I wanted sweet relish!" Twins win, 5-4, in extras, after Rafael Soriano and co. offered the first of many delightful late-inning implosions to come this season. [Vi...

No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....

Former National Still Hiding Out In the Women's Bathroom
That's Josh Willingham camped out on an ad in the ladies' room at Nationals Park, despite having been sent to Oakland in December. He joins Strasburg and Harper as featured team ambassadors who aren't actually on the team. [via DC Sports Bog]...

Hey, Did Everyone Notice The Yankees Were Cheating?
Along with Louis Murphy's Viagra bust, this was another good story to break before a weekend and be completely ignored....

Abusive Relationships Are The Talk Of New York Baseball
It's not enough for Yankees GM Brian Cashman to let the Mets wallow in the fact that they're the Mets. No, he just had to call them out for abusing "left-handed specialist" Pedro Feliciano last year....

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

The Nationals Extend Their Lead In The Spelling-Fails Sweepstakes
First, they got John Lannan's name wrong on the scoreboards during introductions. Then, they were "honoriing" the heroes of 9/11. Now comes word that the Washengtin Natchonulls broadcast partner shouted outfielder Laynce Nix out as "Lance Nix" on MASN, per tipster James, who offered photographic ev...

The Cardinals Are Pretty Much Cursed Now, Right?
Adam Wainwright needs Tommy John surgery. Now Matt Holliday is out indefinitely after an emergency appendectomy. Next Albert Pujols will sign with Chicago. (Probably.)...
