mo Page 665 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

I-Team Report: Jeff Samardzija May Or May Not Have Attempted To Sex Ladies
Believe it or not, we actually have some updates about Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija's "sad" Daytona past. And if they are to believed...well, they're pretty boring. Hey, that's just how (some) investigative journalism gets done....

Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...

<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...

How Did Jeff Samardzija Spend His Daytona Nights?
Jeff Samardzija's Major League Baseball career has been less than stellar (2010 ERA: 108.00!), but if sponsored internet smack is to be believed, his minor league career (specifically, the "off the field late night activities" part) was quite interesting indeed....

One Shining Turd: A Brief Analysis Of How CBS Ruined Its "Moment"
The consensus is that CBS thoroughly murdered basketball's great cornball anthem, "One Shining Moment." Where did they go wrong? Deadspin research reveals that singer Jennifer Hudson logged a full 12 seconds of screen time, a record....

After Coal Mine Blast, Writer Asks The Important Question: Would WVU Have Won In The NCAA Final?
Answer: Yes. "The Mountaineers would have taken the emotional hit, confronted the occasion and done everything to prevail." So noted. [Charleston Daily Mail]...

Ye Olde Shining Moment: A Basketball Montage To Remind Us How Good We Have It Now
Because neither video nor Luther Vandross was around in the 1940s, the NCAA Tournaments of those days concluded without the now-beloved "One Shining Moment" montage, which seems so very wrong. We've remedied the situation. Enjoy. [Footage via A Stern Warning]...

Vandy Pitcher Takes Liner Off Knee, Still Gets The Assist
Corey Williams, a redshirt freshman at Vanderbilt, had his knee obliterated by a hot shot up the middle and still recorded the 1-3 putout. I hope the next mound he pitches on has a ramp though....

Some Losses Are More Painful Than Others
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Time For A Lady To Have Her Say. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

They May Be Smug Unlikeable Bastards, But Damned If They Don't Have Good Foot Doctors
WVU's Darryl Bryant was treated by an orthopedic surgeon from Duke, in hopes of being ready to face the Blue Devils on Saturday. Would you be shocked if he implanted a time bomb in that foot? [News & Observer]...

Baltimore Orioles: The Stacked Deck
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Baltimore Orioles....

The (Other) Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Maybe I was using hyperbole with my headline yesterday — or maybe I just forgot about DePaul. I've read your plaintive emails, and I agree. The search for the Blue Demons' next head coach is proving just as pitiful....

Whites-Only Basketball Promoter Still Not A Racist (But Really Is)
The Daily Show does its Daily Show thing on Don "Moose" Lewis, who proves that his "No Black Guys" basketball league isn't racist by accusing the one black guy in the room of not respecting authority and stealing things....

Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....

Ibrahimovic Plays A Very Literal Back Pass!
Those of you seduced by some cracking Premier League weekend matches probably didn't feel the need to bathe in continental football waters to get your thrills....

Allegedly Smart NASCAR Driver Is "Pretty Sure" The Moon Landing Was Faked
Quoth Ryan Newman, one-time mechanical engineering student at Purdue: "I watched the documentary on it, and it's pretty easy to believe. The flag was standing straight out when there's no wind up there." Your thoughts, Buzz Aldrin? [GN&R, via]...

West Virginia Players Celebrate Kentucky Win, Rip Off Dance Moves
Da'Sean Butler and John Flowers, no strangers to the art of dance, celebrated West Virginia's win by doing the John Wall Dance. Alert the Lexington Intellectual Property Society of this egregious clownin' immediately! [Via The Big Lead]...